Mutant Summit III: This Time, Pooly Made Cupcakes!

During July 2003, the Axis of Neutrality (aka "Justin" and "PoolMan") met once more in the vast wastelands of Vancouver. The purpose? Oh, some would say it was just a week of goofing off; others, a glorified excuse for a vacation. But these two mutants knew that the fate of the free world -- and the cult genre in particular -- rested upon their ability to play gobs of Nintendo, melt their eyes out in front of a movie screen, and take on the dreaded menace of an irate German tourist blaming Pooly for parallel parking within "50 kilometers" of his car. Join us know, as we revisit the tragedy and horror of this week, in yet another You Had To Be There article.

As we begin our journey, we venture into the confines of Vancouver International...

Psst! Hey!

...um... Airport... WHAT? You're ruining the opening paragraph!

Yeah, sorry, but it's just too much of a pain in the tuckus to do this thing chronologically. I mean, PoolMan took over 128 pictures, and it's WAY too much like "work" to sort them out. So I figure we're just going for the Random Slide Show approach. Cool?

No, it is not "cool" "dude". We have a strict layer of professionalism we like to wrap around our shoulders here at MRFH, a shawl of procedure that takes precedence over your desire to be a loaf.

You suck. We're doing it my way anyway.

I refuse to work under these conditions! I'm going to Moe's.

PoolMan: There's something about being whipped around purely by forces of gravity and momentum that somehow doesn't contribute well to actually HEARING someone yell in your ear "The camera's coming, quick, look pretty!". Justin assures me he warned me of the camera coming up, but let's face it, when you're in a rapidly moving, open air vehicle whilst wearing a kilt, you have bigger things on your mind.

Justin: I'm always a sucker for buying rollercoaster photos, even though the markup is around 900%. Great shot of Sean and I practically snuggling in this tiny car (along the week, we reaffirmed each other's heterosexuality just by being way too close in certain situations). You can see here I was expecting the camera, while Sean was shrieking like a little girl. Ironic, him wearing a skirt that day.

Justin: Here's me at Sean's mom's house, making a sock puppet and singing to her through the open window. Hard to believe these people fed me after that, but they did.

PoolMan: Justin made such an impression on my folks. I'll leave it at that.

Justin: In my golden years, I have become a complete klutz, and apparently, so is Sean's mom. We dove in to take a photo together, and bonked our heads quite satisfactory-like. Oh yes, Sean is endlessly amused at my physical pain, and you'll just have to imagine the laughter that was behind the camera.

PoolMan: The coconut-bonking noise here was absolutely hilarious. You'd think I was kidding, but Mom and Justin cracked heads like it was for prize money.

PoolMan: J's got this thing, which really only dawned on me this time out, having the camera at our disposal. He RARELY SMILES FOR PHOTOS. At least, not like a normal person. He's always peering over his glasses, or frowning, or making some odd facial expression. This was one of the few pictures where his precious true personality leaked through: that of an overworked city bus.

Justin: I'm sure there's a really good metaphor for this picture and our relationship, but it eludes me. In other news, I give piggy-back rides for 25 cents to the first fifty customers! (And it's true, I rarely smile for photos, 'cause I think my smile looks fakey)

PoolMan: By now it's common knowledge that I'm engaged, so take this with a grain of salt. Fellas, I am TELLING you, if you want constant female attention, go out in public in a kilt with cute underwear on. My intentions have always been noble, but rest assured, the potential for great flirting is there.

Justin: Nobody wants to know what's under a Canadian giant's kilt, but we find out anyway. Folks, the truth is sometimes more horrifying than any fiction.

Justin: Here's your typical MRFH reader, preparing for yet another draining and soul-stealing visit to our site. Well, it's actually Sean's bro Chris, who seemed always to be in either "eating/drinking" mode or "giving hugs to all girls in sight" mode. I love Chris, except that at one point, he pulled me into his room to show me his guitar, and there was -- I swear! -- a visible smell barrier that we crossed to get in there. One of my favorite pictures from the whole week.

PoolMan: Hehehe... "your typical MRFH reader"... I do so love that. Yes, brother Chris (resplendant in Masefield-wear, a symbol of his band) is indeed a giant pile of cuddly, hard-drinking action. The smell-barrier in his room can be confirmed.

Justin: This picture doesn't even need my mocking words, so I'll leave them at home. Here's studly Sean. At an amusement park. Wearing a kilt. A kilt held in place by one safety pin and a crotch-bearing fanny pack.

PoolMan: I love the fact that I'm comfy enough in my artificial Scottish trappings that comments like these just don't bother me anymore. For every smartass telling me "nice skirt", I have enjoyed the reaction of dozens of smiling people.

PoolMan: Justin's a hoot at an amusement park. He's all cutting remarks and sly, shifty-eyed witticisms most of the time, but throw him in a mechanical octopus to be flung around at 3600 RPM, and suddenly he's as meek as a kitten.

Justin: Sean and I riding the Octopus, one of three hundred rides at the amusement park designed to whip us in every conceivable direction until we staggered off to find the nearest "Park Bench Ride".