Is this some kind of joke? Where is Justin?
Justin and I had a... disagreement. Let's just say he called me out, and it proved to be his last mistake. You can read about the ensuing battle in the Manifeso.

No really, is this a joke?
No really, it isn't. Justin is resting comfortably, albeit restrained, with a family of beavers in Hudson Bay, Ontario. He will remain imprisoned there until such time as I see fit to release him, and can sing the lyrics to O Canada without giggling or mentioning the "rocket's red glare".

I'm American. I don't like Canadians. They suck. I know this because I know many of them personally, and have visited every single province, and actually know that they don't eat blubber, live in igloos, and wear toques all day. I know we're basically all the same people, with largely the same values. Now, get the hell off the Mutants or I'll kill you, Canuck!
That's not a question.

I'm Canadian. I don't have any problem with Americans except for the broadly kept misconceptions they have about us. How can we better educate our friends south of the border?
I'm organizing a new, refreshed group of even more fanatical, blood-crazed kickboxers to mercilessly spill over the line and hand out pamphlets. Patience, my friend.

So what happens now that the Mutants are officially Canadian?
For starters, all the Correspondants have been "Canucklized" to help ease the transition. You should check their updated Bios for their new, individualized Canadian names. This is of particular ease for Toni, as she is originally from Calgary, Alberta, but as for the other guys (and gal), they must be branded with the Maple Leaf and released into the badlands of Saskatchewan (actually, Kyle requested this be done quite some time ago). The reviews (and we know you love 'em) will continue to flow as we continue to beat our crack writing staff into submission (ie: business as usual). Please note that all emails sent to the staff should bear their proud new Canadian names.

Is it true that all Canadians dislike Quebec?
Absolutely not. Some of my most beloved friends are from La Belle Province. But in the english-speaking provinces, we make them do household chores in embarassing costumes. But that's okay, because they do the same thing to us in their province.

What changes will we see around the page?
There will a glorious abundance of maple leaves, hockey pucks, and legendary hockey stars adorning the website, but the content will largely stay the same. You may, however, notice an abundance of U's being used in words that the average American reader will not recognize. For example, coloUr, favoUr, laboUr, AmeUrica, the usual.

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