- All the references to Reinhold's films, including Fast Times, Beverly Hills Cop, Gremlins, Vice-Versa, and Head Office
- Randal gets his movie ticket money back from George Lucas, Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Joel Shumacher, and Steven Spielburg
- The opening disclaimer against celebrities
- Randal was reading "Brainy Chicks"
- People's Court intro
- JFK parody
- Dante does not have a girlfriend
- Patrick Ewing gets denied, twice
Episode 4
Original Air Date
May 31, 2000
Summary Capsule
Jay slips in the Quickstop and sues Dante for ten mil; Dante has Randal defend him.
Justin's Review
I laughed for the first twenty-five minutes, but the last few I was crying. Yes, me, an authentic male, weeping due to probably the most hysterical moment of TV history ever. Clerks the Cartoon is here, maybe not for long, but it's definitely up there with any Askewniverse film in existance. Much more frantically-paced than the film, Clerks follows the day-to-day exploits of Dante and Randal in the most boring job ever.
I think I can best compare Clerks to the style of cartoon pacing that has made both The Simpsons and Family Guy so great: a storyline frequently interrupted with flashbacks, cuts and wipes, and a universe where nearly anything can happen. We begin episode 4 with Jay taking temporary control of the Quickstop. Due to his inept handling, an incident ensues where Jay falls down (twice) and decides to sue the store and Dante. Poor Dante. They go to court, where Judge Reinhold (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) presides, and the jury is filled with members of the NBA. Naturally, Randal screws everything up, but somehow (and don't ask me how, I still have tears from the ending) things end up okay.
You want pop culture satire? Kudos to Clerks, who tackle everything from Star Wars Episode One (Randal grills George Lucas over the plot flaws) to legal courtroom thrillers to anime. Oh, geez, all I want to do is talk about the ending, but then I don't want to spoil it for you. I'm that nice of a guy, I suppose. I guess I can leak that if you're confused by all things Pokémon, Akira, Voltron, and basically any other Japanese cartoon released, you'll find some small comfort to know that they're all basically crazy.
All in all, terrific. Much different from the series (only a couple minutes are spent in the Quickstop), much less profane (heck, they even said "pee-pee" instead of "piss"), and no sex in sight... but the Kevin Smith-brand humor is ever-present, and I think the format forces the Askew team to be creative in other ways. While the animation is rather flat (and you'll be staring at those really thick black outlines around each character), at least it's different and lends itself to fairly accurate portrayals of celebrities and whatnot. I also had to cheer when they brought Reggie Miller into the jury (go Pacers!).
So, Silent Bob doesn't speak, Randal still hates customers, crap constantly rains down on Dante, and the world couldn't be a better place. God bless the Clerks.
Didja Notice?
Groovy Quotes
Dante: RST is where people are supposed to rent movies.
Randal: Tell that to Disco Granny.
Disco Granny: Dum-Dum!
Randal: That's my club name.
[over the telephone]
Voice: I'm going to burn this place to the ground and pee-pee on the ashes!
Dante: Oh my god, who's that?
Randal: That's... That's Regis.
Randal: How the hell can you sleep at night?
[NBA jury comes in]
Dante: Oh my god, they're all black. Where's Chris Mullen?
Reporter: Jay, don't you hate people who try to do Austin Powers impressions?
Jay: Yeah, baby, yeah!
Reporter: Oh, behave!
Randal: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Dante Hicks is just like you. He loves grape soda. He knows what it's like when the guy in the supermarket won't take your "food stamps." Or how it feels to wait all month for your welfare check. Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho!
Randal: Show us on the doll where they touched you!
Dante: Nobody touched me!
Randal: Who was it? There's no more running from your past! Who touched you?
Dante: I hate you.
Lawyer: Here to question Mr. Hicks are two giggling girls.
Girl: Okay. Do you, like, have a girlfriend?
Dante: No, I don't have a girlfriend.
Girl: Omigod, I told you!
Randal: Do you think Phantom Menace is as good of a movie as Empire?
George Lucas: Well, certainly, I think it's the best movie I've made yet.
Randal: Permission to treat this witness as hostile. Mr. Lucas, how do you explain that in Star Wars Obi-Wan tells Luke when he met his father he was a great pilot, but in Menace he's just a little boy?
Lucas: Well, my kids thought...
Randal: And how come Obi-Wan tells Luke that Yoda is the Jedi that trains him, but in the movie Liam Neeson trains him?
Lucas: Um, well, the power of myth...
Randal: Isn't it true you knew this was a bad movie, that you wrote it over a weekend but told people you had it written for years?
Lawyer: Objection! The pod race was pretty cool.
Randal: Why the hell is he called Silent Bob, anyway?
Axel: Billy! I need your help!
Judge Reinhold: All right, Axel!
[during a dream sequence]
Commentator: Patrick Ewing actually makes the jump shot, and the Knicks win an important game!
Voice: Who is driving! Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be? Car full of midgets!
Voice: Tom Cruise! Oh no! You want the truth, you can't handle the truth! Show me the money!
