Clerks The Cartoon
      Episode 5
      "Dante and Randal and Jay and Silent Bob and a bunch of new characters and Lando take part in a whole bunch of movie parodies including, but not exclusive to, The Bad News Bears, The Last Starfighter, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, plus a high school reunion."

        Original Air Date
        Never aired

        Summary Capsule
        Crossing all film genres, Dante proves himself as a baseball manager and Randal escapes from a slave mine.

        Justin's Review
        I love movie parodies as much as the next guy, and since the 90s, cartoons have been the place to do them in (for example, The Simpsons or The Family Guy). This episode doesn't tread any new ground in parody-land, but it does do a few unique things by mixing movies that have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

        At a high school reunion, we discover that Dante was a (forgotten) baseball manager in high school, and Randal has the ability to turn straight women into lesbians overnight. Mainly staying outside of the Quick Stop (what Quick Stop?), Dante coaches a baseball team of loser kids, including my favorite, Foreign Boy (although Helmet Boy has his charm as well). Once he discovers that Jay is still, technically, in the fourth grade, Dante turns his team to victory. Meanwhile, Randal is enslaved due to his video gaming technique, and finds himself moving big blocks of stone from point A to point A.

        Out of all six episodes, this one goes very far outside of the box. Away from the clerk world, Dante and Randal are just relegated to standard "fill in the blank" parody roles, and that's kinda sad. Yay for Jay and Silent Bob, tho, who work their magic anywhere, anytime. No big laughs here, but it's a fun (if bland) episode nonetheless. Maybe this was just a case of taking pop culture references a smidgen too far. And boy, I can't believe they got away with the Challenger explosion reference.

        Didja Notice?

      • All lesbians are voiced by men
      • Dante and Randal graduated high school in 1990
      • Maximillian Stark has spider legs, like in Wild Wild West
      • Randal's picture in the yearbook is a parody of the infamous Vietnam execution photo
      • Randal's video game initials are SEX
      • Foreign boy rules!
      • Silent Bob joins Jay in rounding the bases
      • Other Little League teams include "Diabetic Bears", "Jewish Traveling All-Stars", and "Handicapable Lady Lions"
      • "Drinki'n Bay Fine Liquors"
      • The flowerpot falling gag returns (from episode 1 and 2)

        Groovy Quotes
        [at the high school reunion]
        Randal: If anyone asks, I'm suing the government over some bad meat.
        Dante: You're just the saddest man on earth.

        Randal: So you're saying that after me, no other man would do?
        Dirty Debbie: That's one way of putting it.

        Randal: Right this way to the lesbo express.

        Randal: They used to call me "Sexy Randal the Pharoah Wizard".
        Girl: No they didn't.

        Dante: Oh my god, the kid in the helmet.
        Leonardo Leonardo: Look at him.

        Anthony: Coach Dante? We're the worst team ever.
        Dante: Yes we are, Anthony. Yes we are.

        Jay: You feel that in your face Silent Bob? Yahoo! Nootch!

        Dante: We'll find the children, and we'll bring them back, Creepy Guy!

        [As "Star Wars" ghosts]
        Charles Barkley: High five!
        [Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin Skywalker turn away]
        Charles Barkley: That's cold, Obi-Wan.

      • Clerks the Cartoon: Main Review Page
      • Mutant Reviewers From Hell