Bruce Willis
- Our hero, Hudson Hawk is a recent ex-convict, put in Sing-Sing in the early 80's during a botched burglary attempt. Despite his failure, Hudson is considered the best catburglar in the world and is highly sought for his services. His methods are decidedly low-tech; he uses songs to time his burglaries. He wears four earrings on his left year, has a tattoo of a hawk on his back, wears a black hat and trenchcoat, and craves cappuccino. Hudson Hawk's best friend is Tommy Five-Tone, and his recent love interest is Anna Baragli.
Danny Aiello
- Tommy Five-Tone is Hudson Hawk's best friend, and operates the Five-Tone Bar and Grill, a yuppie establishment in New Jersey. Five-Tone accompianies Hawk during his burglaries, but his recent weight gain presents a problem in that area.
Andie MacDowell
- Anna is an agent for the Vatacan, keeping tabs on both Hudson Hawk and the CIA. She has a few secrets and suprises of her own, and falls hard for our hero.
James Coburn
- Leader of the CIA group that works with the Mayflowers, Kaplan is directly responsible for sending Hudson Hawk to jail and getting him involved in the DiVinci plot. He's sarcastic, ruthless, and a mentor to his MTVIAs.
Richard E. Grant
- A millionare at age 18, Darwin and his wife Minerva have been seeking out new goals to achieve. Darwin defines megalomania to its fullest, and enjoys backstabbing others to get what he wants.
Sandra Bernhard
- Minerva is a very disturbing woman, donning outrageous outfits and torturing everyone (even her husband) for fun. Her preferred weapon of choice is the bow and arrow.
voiced by Frank Welker
- Bunny, a vicious little terrier, has an affinity for balls and accompianies the Mayflowers everywhere.
Donald Burton
- Alfred is the main henchman employed by the Mayflowers. He is the antithesis of the kindly English butler, sporting retractable wrist blades and a knowledge of martial arts.
Don Harvey
- One of Kaplan's "Candy Bars", Snickers is the leader of the four, snide and arrogant.
David Caruso
- Another Candy Bar, Kit Kat is mute (no tongue), uses little cards to communicate, and is a diguise expert. Of all the Candy Bars, he helps our protagonists the most.
Andrew Bryniarski
- A walking landmass, Butterfinger is the most powerful and most idiotic of the Candy Bars.
Lorraine Toussaint
- The only woman and African-American of the Candy Bars, AJ has no heart. Her weapon is a blowdart gun with poisonous darts.
Stephano Molinari
- The famous inventor and creator of the Gold Machine, which he promptly dissassembled.
Burtt Harris
- Gates is a crooked cop employed by the Mario Brothers to do petty jobs. Hawk knows and despises this obese man.
Frank Stallone and Carmine Zozorra
- The Mario Bros. are the head of New Jersey's third-largest crime family. Cesar is the bright one, Anthony not so much.
Doug Martin and Steven Martin
- The silent Mayflower henchmen assigned to trail Hudson Hawk.
