Bringing your most winning smile on your face, you point a cursory finger at the shotgun. “Now, that thing isn’t loaded, is it?” you ask.

The attendant gives you the coldest look possible over his shotgun, then slowly lowers it. “I thought you were one of them.”

“You know what? Whatever. I just want some ice, dude,” you tell him. The creepiest guy you ever met back in high school took a career aptitude test; you’re pretty sure his top options ended up being “over/undermedicated maniac” and “gas station attendant.” You’ll assume that guy and this one are related.

“I had heard, um, that there were zombies out there tonight,” the attendant, whose nametag reads “Don,” explains sheepishly. “I wasn’t going to believe them, but I can’t get a single television channel to come in and no one I know is picking up the phone.”

Halfway through his explanation, you moved to the freezer to pull out a couple big bags of ice. Lugging them over to the counter, you’re about to laugh when you realize this guy is as serious as can be. Either he’s the best attendant/actor you’ve ever met, or he’s telling the truth.

“Don’t go out there. I’m serious. Get your friends and bring them in here. We’ll wait it out till morning or until help gets here,” Don pleads. “Better safe than sorry, right?”

IF YOU BELIEVE DON, OR AT LEAST BELIEVE THAT DON IS RIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING DANGEROUS OUT THERE, CLICK HERE

IF YOU THINK DON IS PLAYING A BIG TRICK ON YOU BUT YOU REFUSE TO PLAY ALONG, CLICK HERE