Shalen's Memories

Walk with us now, as we revisit some of our favorite and personal memories about Mutant Reviewers!

NAME AND MRFH NICKNAME (IF ANY)
Shalen. It's my name. If I'd thought quicker I'd be using SickleYield, because that's my modding handle pretty much everywhere else online, but I joined the site before I actually started modding for Oblivion. Go figure.

Spinnin' webs any size, catchin' movies just like flies

TELL US ABOUT HOW YOU FIRST DISCOVERED MRFH, WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT, AND HOW YOU CAME ON BOARD AS A WRITER.
Actually it's because I'm sort of an insomniac. Back when I was in college and putting off doing homework, I'd spend a lot of time at night surfing the web. I read many, many different online film reviews, which appealed to me because I a)love movies and b)am a picky detail freak, and eventually stumbled across MRFH while searching for a review of something really obscure. I think it was House of Wax II. I was pretty much an instant fan from then on. I loved the Mutant Viewings especially, but I seldom found a review that didn't make me laugh. I think I pestered Justin via email once or twice, and I won an "abridged script" contest that's still in our archive.

Two years later, after I'd graduated and had a lousy part-time job and some spare time, MRFH announced they were looking for a new staff writer. I didn't really think I'd get the job, but I thought it was worth a try. So I sent in a review of Eight Legged Freaks as part of my app (which also contained part of a fanfic piece, if I recall correctly). It turned out to be a really good choice, and I loved that the MRFH crew was on board with me being me. It's that kind of place.

I never get tired of hearing people make "Ha ha! Shalen likes spiders!" jokes, either. I love that here that's actually a fun and funny thing, not a gross and creepy thing like it is to my coworkers.

SHARE ANY FAVORITE MEMORIES OF "BEHIND THE SCENES" MRFH EVENTS OR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER MUTANTS.
Well, there was that time with the goat and the vat of chocolate sauce... But besides that, I've missed out on that aspect a lot because most of us work, and I'm in a different time zone. I sincerely hope to amass more such moments in future. Oh, and Kyle, I really liked the Silent Hill footage DVDs you sent me. Still got 'em.

WHAT WERE SOME OF YOUR PERSONAL FAVORITE ARTICLES & REVIEWS THAT YOU WROTE, AND WHY DO YOU LIKE THEM SO MUCH?
My review of Soldier is way up there because it's the first one where I mentioned the Mechanical Man. I'd have to say I think the review of Werewolf Vs. the Vampire Woman is the funniest to read.

I also really enjoyed doing the So You Want to Start the Apocalypse? feature, because I think religious horror films are so silly. It also got the most direct positive feedback of any feature I've done so far, and I'm never going to hate that. ;)

SHARE ANY INTERESTING ENCOUNTERS OR E-MAILS THAT YOU HAD WITH MRFH READERS – GOOD OR BAD!
I don't catch much of the mail, for good or ill. I know Justin is going to have some great stories here, though. I did get someone emailing me to complain about my use of the phrase "Kung Fu Colt Master" as a title when the correct translation is "Kung Fu CULT Master," this person apparently having failed to realize I did that to mock the fact that the incorrect spelling is on many DVD covers.

And that's really nothing, when you consider that people keep threatening to rip out Justin's intestines and strangle him with them.

WHAT ASPECT OF MRFH DO YOU THINK MAKES IT UNIQUELY SPECIAL APART FROM THE REST OF THE INTERNET?
1. It's both actually funny and well put-together. Most sites are one or the other.

2. Community. There are other cult sites, but most are run by one or at most two people. I love that aspect here.

3. Justin. He was one of the main founders, he generates the most reviews, he keeps the site looking as great as it does, and he's a fearless moderator who is not afraid to ban obnoxious people. He lets things slide that would have me fuming and raving. You have to love him.

WHAT WAS THE WORST FILM YOU REVIEWED FOR MRFH, AND WHY?
Depends on the definition of "worst". The one I enjoyed least was Children of Men; it was predictable throughout and bleak enough to point itself out as an Oscar Magnet Thought Experiment. But that one was arguably the best made of anything I've reviewed.

The worst-constructed film I've reviewed was probably Lord of the Wu Tang. It's hilariously, insanely bad, the kind of badness I want to share with everyone I meet. Including you. Want a copy?

I haven't reviewed anything by Uwe Bolle yet, though.

IF YOU HAD A FRIEND WHO WAS TRYING TO GET INTO CULT CINEMA, WHAT FIVE FILMS WOULD YOU RECOMMEND TO THEM TO WATCH FIRST, AS A PRIMER?
1. Night of the Living Dead
2. Army of Darkness
3. Plan 9 From Outer Space
4. The Princess Bride, if they haven't seen it already. Maybe it's the world's most popular cult film, but it's still cult.
5. Cube

HOW DO YOU THINK MRFH HAS CHANGED OR GROWN OVER THE YEARS YOU'VE KNOWN IT?
Well, I've only known it for going on two years now. ;) Poolman retiring to Mutant Emeritus status is the biggest thing that's happened since I've been here. That's sad for the rest of us, but I hope he's having a good time. Sniff.

IF MRFH HAD A THEME SONG, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I'd have to go with the William Tell Overture, accompanied by sped-up footage of Mutants running into things, watching movies, hitting each other, being stuffed in the closet at HQ, etc.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO ADD? (STORIES, FAVORITES, QUOTES, ETC.)
I'd like to relate the incident wherein I made a disparaging remark about those horrible macrocephalic dolls — Divaz? — and StarOpal took it as a sig quote, and then Poolman made a snarky remark about it and Justin picked THAT up for HIS sig quote. Especially when what Poolie said was, "Nothing says 'I find you funny, internet stranger,' like stealing their quote for your sigfile!'"

You know, I was never on a forum before I joined MRFH. Ever. And yet now I devote far too much of my time to deciding what kind of spider to use for my next avatar...