Summary Capsule
A number of ghosts (13 mayhaps) chase some ninnies around a glass house
DnaError's Rating: Must resist urge to say "Of Scooby doo"
DnaError's Review: MST3K Effect (n): The effect caused when mocking a movie is so enjoyable that the movie appears to be good in comparison. See Dungeons and Dragons.
13 Ghosts (or as the posters say, Thir13ten ghosts. I for one say we rally against unpronounceable numbers in movie titles from now on.) is a perfect example of this phenomenon. I saw it in a crowded theater with a small group of fairly snarky friends. The movie came on, we began to snark. Snarked we did. I left the movie feeling pretty good about it. However looking back, the funniest parts where not the movie itself (which goes to 11 in terms of Sheer Goofiness) but the comments from our provberial peanut gallery. The strange glass-shifting-wall house? ("They live in stately Tetris manor!" ) The sassy black maid? ("She don't know nothing about killing no ghosts." "So they can't afford a house but can afford a maid?") The female ghostbuster? (Who ya gonna call? That gal!" "Lara Croft falls on hard times.") And of course, cheers whenever the Annoying Cute Kid (TM) was in mortal danger.
I guess you want a plot recap too. Well, I'm felling generous (and caffeinated) so here ya go. A down and out family inherits a Spooky Glass House from a Spooky Lawyer in which all manners of Spooky Ghosts appear. Matthew Illard shows up from time to time to scream and pound his head. And everyone has their Super Secret 3-D Ghost Viewer Decoder Glasses (available with only 30 Proofs of Purchase of Spooky Os) in order to see the ghosts about to kill them in all manners of gruesome ways. Plus, there is some rhurbub about a black zodiac and enyponus 13th Ghost. But I was too busy making snide comments about the director ("Just cause you can edit doesn't mean you should.") to notice any of that.
Is 13 Ghosts a good movie? If this was a "real" review, I'd tell you it's more like a hard hock horror video in the Tool mold then a movie. Or that it has some good ideas but comes off as the weirdest X-Files episode ever. But the movie is too goofy for any of that. It's bizarre plot and characters resist any attempts to call it outright "bad" while at the same time screaming for comments from the audience. It is then, a perfect MST3K movie. Entertaining enough to keep you interested but with enough faults and weirdness to keep poking at. Go see 13th Ghosts armed with sarcasm and a good amount of popcorn and you'll be safe. Snark on.
 2001 Rated R Horror Director
Starring
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The opening Warner Brothers logo is in black and white.
There are only 12 ghosts (which was kept from the original film)
The Movie Store!
Gladiator: Soundtrack [CD]
Intermission!
This movie was based (very loosely) on the original William Castle movie of 1965. Castle was a king of schlock-horror, rigging seats with electrical shocks and all manners of gimmicks. The original 13 Ghost movies gave out "ghost o vision" glasses in the theaters so you could see the ghosts on screen. Of course, if you're like me and saw it on AMC, it just looks like the knife is hanging awkwardly by a string.
A fairly clever commercial ran for the film. It's short, with the narrator just reading "This film has been rated R for horror violence and gore, nudity and some language. You are warned."
There are two other spellings for the title of this film: 13 Ghosts and Thir13en Ghosts (the latter is a take off of the Se7en spelling).
Official and Not-So-Official Websites
Official Warner Bros. Site
Soundtrack Review
Try and guess here, classical? Ambient? New wave? Nahhhh, hard rock of course.
If you liked this movie, try these:
The House on Haunted Hill
Scream
Session 9
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