Lissa's 2004 Oscar Picks

It’s that time of year again. Time for lame jokes, hideous fashions, and long acceptance speeches. And for some reason, even though the Academy is as stupid as the Superbowl people and holds their main events on a Sunday night (don’t they know some of us have to oh, WORK the next morning?), I’ll probably watch the Oscars.

It's good to be the king!

Have you ever seen those movies where the common guy sits on the king’s throne and takes the place of the real king, and usually messily devours large amounts of meat and beer and makes a total hash of things before the end moral? (Or did you miss King Ralph, which I suspect that by merely mentioning it I might be stuck reviewing?) Anyway, that’s kind of what I feel like writing this article -- like Clare’s stepped out for a round on the PS2 and I’ve stolen her throne. Only instead of beer and bacon dip (which the latter sounds REALLY good), you’re getting white wine and Godiva ice cream (white chocolate raspberry this time). I kind of like this thought.

I wanted to do the “who should win” versus “who will win” thing that Clare usually does, but either I’m not as informed or not as cynical as she is, so you just get my commentary. Oh well. Onward with my predictions!

Rated Arrrr!

Best Actor

• Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean
• Ben Kingsley in The House of Sand and Fog
• Jude Law in Cold Mountain
• Bill Murray in Lost in Translation
• Sean Penn in Mystic River

  This one’s tough. I do think it would be hysterical if Johnny Depp won, but I think it was enough of a triumph for him to be nominated. I have it narrowed down to Bill Murray for Lost In Translation or Sean Penn in Mystic River. I’m not normally a Sean Penn fan, but that has more to do with the type of movies he makes (just not my taste), and he was outstanding in Mystic River. I love Bill Murray and in some ways would adore seeing him get it, especially since this would be his first Oscar and is his first nomination, but I despised Lost In Translation. Since drama outweighs “comedy” (hahaha) in the Oscars, I’m gonna go with Sean Penn, but if Bill Murray gets it I’ll still be happy.

Wanna be Ken Watanabe?

• Alec Baldwin in The Cooler
• Benicio Del Toro in 21 Grams
• Djimon Hounsou in In America
• Tim Robbins in Mystic River
• Ken Watanabe in The Last Samurai

  This is hard, because I’ve only seen 2 of the 5 films. Alec Baldwin has never been a favorite of mine, and I just got really turned off by the IMDb article that says he thinks he’s a shoe-in for this one. Ken Watanabe was good, I guess, but I thought that his performance in the Last Samurai was a replay of Chow Yun Fat in Anna and the King. But even though I’ve only seen the last two movies, I’m going with Tim Robbins. I thought he did a phenomenal job as the haunted Dave in Mystic River, and no matter how well the other actors did that’s going to be pretty tough to top.

• Keisha Castle-Hughes in Whale Rider
• Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give
• Samantha Morton in In America
• Charlize Theron in Monster
• Naomi Watts in 21 Grams

  Man, I’m having trouble. I’ve only seen snippets of each of these movies. My choice would be Keisha Castle-Hughes, because I’ve heard Whale Rider is an amazing movie and I love to see family-friendly-but-still-excellent movies get the credit they so richly deserve. However, I think she’s the dark horse. My real prediction is Charlize Theron in Monster. Real life story. Misunderstood woman. Physical transformation that made her unattractive (although I thought she looked better with the weight on). Drama. Death. Like Diane Keaton has a chance against that with a romantic comedy.

• Shohreh Aghdashloo in The House of Sand and Fog
• Patricia Clarkson in Pieces of April
• Marcia Gay Harden in Mystic River
• Holly Hunter in Thirteen
• Renee Zellweger in Cold Mountain

  Does it matter what I think? This one’s going to Renee Zellweger in Cold Mountain. She’s been nominated the past two years for lead actress. She did a phenomenal job in this movie. She’s a Hollywood darling. No one else stands a chance this year.

The award is Mine! Mine! Mine!

• Brother Bear
• Finding Nemo
• Les Triplettes de Bellville

  Finding Nemo. Duh.

• Girl with a Pearl Earring
• The Last Samurai
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Seabiscuit

  I’m going with The Last Samurai on this one. While my impression of The Last Samurai was that it tried way too hard for Oscars, this was one area where it deserved what it was after. It was a truly beautiful movie.

• Cidade de Deus
• Cold Mountain
• Girl With a Pearl Earring
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Seabiscuit

  Master and Commander: Far Side of the World. Boats are challenging.

Fancy Lads

• Girl with a Pearl Earring
• The Last Samurai
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Seabiscuit

  Can’t I vote for Down with Love? I loved the matching outfits Barbara and Vicki had, and frankly those were the most memorable costumes I saw all year. But since a write-in never has a chance, I’m going with Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. While I wouldn’t have picked the first two in the trilogy for this category, with the royal type of clothing and the armor that shows up in this one, I’ll go with PJ and his boys.

Let’s not even pretend I can make an informed “decision”.

Film Editing

• Cidade de Deus
• Cold Mountain
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Seabiscuit

  Oh geeze. I don’t know. This is another one I never really pay attention to. Let’s say Master and Commander. Magic 8 Ball, y’know.

• Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl

  Interesting. All these movies have a second title. Anyway, I’m so going with Pirates for this one, even if all I really remember is Johnny Depp in major eyeliner. Whoever came up with that idea is the one that got me to go see this movie in the first place.

In Little China

• Big Fish
• Cold Mountain
• Finding Nemo
• House of Sand and Fog
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King

  As much as I love Big Fish and Danny Elfman and really want to see them win an Oscar, I can’t remember the score for the life of me, except at one moment (when you first met the Witch), thinking it sort of sounded Harry Potter-ish. So I can’t really say Big Fish, which is a bummer. I’m going with The Lord of the Rings again here. Not just because I love this movie, but I love the way the score complemented it. And I love the themes that Howard Shore used for each character/mood/object.

• “The Scarlet Tide” Cold Mountain
• “You Will Be My Ain True Love” Cold Mountain
• “Into the West” Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• “A Kiss at the End of a Rainbow” A Mighty Wind
• “The Triplets of Belleville” Les Triplettes de Belleville

  Not a huge fan of “Into the West.” I’d like to see it be A Mighty Wind, because it’s appropriate.

• The Last Samurai
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
• Seabiscuit

  Sea and surf is harder than battle scenes, I think. Battle scenes are just done more. So let’s go with Master and Commander.

• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

  One word for you: Gollum. Not enough? Let’s also add in trolls, catapulted heads, falling cities, and Oliphants. Yeah. Lord of the Rings all the way on this category.

• American Splendor
• Cidade de Deus
• Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
• Mystic River
• Seabiscuit

  Oddly, here I refuse to go with The Lord of the Rings. The dialogue is often stilted, and some of the nonsense that Legolas has to spout off is just ridiculous and should never be said aloud by a human. (Fortunately, he’s an elf.) I haven’t seen American Splendor or City of God, but it doesn’t matter. I thought Mystic River’s other huge strength (besides the acting) was the writing. Definitely Mystic River.

• Les Invasions Barbares
• Dirty Pretty Things
• Finding Nemo
• In America
• Lost in Translation

  Anything but Lost In Translation. Unfortunately, the only other one I’ve actually seen is Finding Nemo. In America was supposed to be very well written, so I’ll go with that. But as long as it’s not Lost In Translation, I’m happy.

Pick meeee!

• Sofia Coppola for Lost in Translation
• Clint Eastwood for Mystic River
• Peter Jackson for Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Fernando Meirelles for Cidade de Deus
• Peter Weir for Master and Commander: Far Side of the World

  Big Fish. I LOVED that movie, and it was Tim Butron’s movie, all the way. Although, I must admit this is nowhere near the travesty of Baz Luhrman not being nominated a few years ago. ANYWAY. Since that’s not an option, PJ, and the One Ring, not so much for Return of the King, but for the entire trilogy. I think he’s going to finally be acknowledged, and I think he truly deserves it. (By the way, I see nothing wrong with saying that. Just like the books were never really intended to be three books, the movies were truly one gigantic movie broken into three parts.)

For Geekdom!

• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• Lost in Translation
• Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
• Mystic River
• Seabiscuit

  Oh yeah. This is the big one.

  The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Was ROTK the best picture of the year? Eh, not sure, although it was high up there. But was The Lord of the Rings one of the best trilogies every released? YES. If The Lord of the Rings finally wins this year, it won’t truly be for ROTK, but for the entire trilogy. And I will dance for joy.

  Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World. This is the only one I haven’t seen. So I am subbing it in with Big Fish, which should have been nominated instead.

  Mystic River: Not my normal style of movie. Wasn’t too keen to see it. However, I’m really, really, really glad I did. It was phenomenal. I’d like to see The Lord of the Rings beat it out, because while Mystic River had a great story and utterly amazing acting, The Lord of the Rings had great everything. BUT, if Mystic River wins, I will still be very happy.

  Seabiscuit: I wasn’t really expecting to like this. I thought it would be slow. I’m really glad I saw it, and I’m really glad it’s nominated as Best Picture. What I like about Seabiscuit is that it’s a movie everyone can enjoy. This is a very rare thing. It’s an uplifting movie about triumph and the power of the human (and horse) spirit. It has Chris Cooper, Jeff Bridges, and Toby Maguire. Excellent acting, excellent job capturing the time period, great writing, and all-audience friendly. I will be extremely happy if Seabiscuit wins.

  Lost In Translation: It’s the antithesis of Seabiscuit. It’s depressing. It’s slow. It’s seeped in a philosophy I can’t stand. If you haven’t read my review, let me tell you I hate this movie with a passion. If you have read my review, let me reiterate how deeply I despise this movie. Best Picture of the Year? Absolutely, positively not. No. If it wins, I will scream in anguish.

  That said, wanna bet Lost In Translation will win?

Just don’t bet the farm on it!