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I mean, hopefully it is true that you took a few hours of your oh so busy summer schedule to swing by a movie theater to enjoy the rollickin' fun of Pirates 2. I'm not sure I would want to know anyone who hasn't seen it yet, or would make a brazen claim such as "____ was a much better summer film than that stupid Pirates movie!" Did you think Superman Returns was better? Or maybe Snakes on a Plane? Wrong! Wrong! Erroneous on all counts! Come on, brother/sister. Pirates 2 is where it's at. Believe it. Actually, that whole argument is sort of an odd point with me, but admittedly an understandable one. The professional critical opinion seems to be that this was a sequel that looked great and delivered summer blockbuster fun, albeit at all at the expense of overall coherence and originality. As well, there are plenty of normal everyday humans walking and talking out in the world, and quite a few of them (when polled) will report some measure of dissatisfaction with the film. Some will go as far as it say that it was a big disappointment, that didn't develop the characters, make any sense, or advance any kind of story. I knew the cliffhanger ending was going to throw people, but I was honestly surprised at how many people seemed unaware that there was going to be a third film. Seriously? How could you not know? That's weird. Oh, but I sort of empathize with this particular plight, because my first exposure to the world of our favorite pirates and adventurers was capped off with a confused frown. Yep, I went off to Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl on opening day (if you live in southern California and have any kind of love for Disneyland, it was practically mandatory to see it opening weekend) and left the theater not entirely entertained. I was expecting straightforward pirating and adventuring; instead I got humorous takes on the whole pirating gig, a perceived shoehorning of elements from the ride for "ooh, I remember that!" moments, and a completely unexpected and unique performance by Depp. It quickly became a cultural zeitgeist, naturally, and the more I thought about what I had seen I saw how much of a melding of affection and dark humor the film truly was. I immediately bought it, watched it again (and again), and knew it was amazing. It just clicks, you know? What am I saying? Of course you know! My only point, which comes simultaneously along with a blatant attempt to indicate my own special-ness as a film viewer *blush*, is that I saw the first film as not just a cash-in on a popular, even cherished, Disney ride. The first film is a great action/adventure romp, but pay close attention to the dialogue and performances to really appreciate the different levels of humor, pathos, and wistful observances that are all present. It and its sequel are possibly a touch overlong, but it's worth it to get all the goodness contained therein. Focusing exclusively on Dead Man's Chest, it's like I said: a lot of people, especially professional critics, decried all of that goodness for making DMC seem "overstuffed" and an irrelevant sequel, since all the good stuff is just copied straight from the first film and that you really only need a couple minutes' of plot development in order to be prepared for the (presumably) climatic third film. It's understandable. It's hard to be a middle film in a trilogy when one of the most common touchstone for trilogy discussion is Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back and that's arguably one of the greatest films ever made. How do you compare to that? Obviously, you don't, and I don't think DMC really tries to compare or compete with any other middle film. It has to set up the third film and does so, and it has to deliver more of the characters we love and bring them to a place where we still recognize them but walk out of the theater not entirely sure where they are going to go next: it does so. In the brightness and competitive air of the summer film slate, I believe a great deal of the DMC's complexity got lost in the heat and exuberant Kraken talk. Wait until you can buy or rent it: you'll see that a lot of the deliberate echoes of the first film are subtly twisted either for humor's sake or to say something profound about characters or settings, while almost every character manages to enlarge our understanding of them in one way or the other. Like I said, it's very subtle, but between orgasmic CGI fests on the Flying Dutchman and Kraken attacks, character development is occurring. There isn't much kissing or romantic swashbuckling to mark its passing, but it's there. Awesome! Although clearly the number one reason for any kind of disappointment in Dead Man's Chest paradoxically lies with Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow. Not because his performance was any less brilliant or Oscar-worthy than his first (it was wonderful!) but because it wasn't more of the same, which is pretty much what everyone was expecting. Jack is the same as he ever was, but for the duration of this film he's fighting not to regain his life but to save it, and that's a big difference. Depp is more subdued (or at least as subdued as Captain Jack Sparrow could possibly be) and more inclined to save his own skin than do the right thing (not that he would do the right thing anyway, unless "the right thing" happened to coincide with what he needed), but he gets enough Captain Jack moments to make the movie special. Maybe not enough moments to make you want to dress up like him for Halloween again (a girl told me she'd be Batgirl if I was her Batman, and that's a bargain: the best I ever had) but enough to get you excited for the third. If you're sane, that is. I know I haven't made enough of an effort to really sell you on the greatness of Dead Man's Chest in case you're not sure about it yourself, but at some point that's kind of your problem. I couldn't believe it when people walked out of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones and thought that the third film was going to redeem the prequel trilogy; similarly, I can't believe people think this middle film didn't go above and beyond the task of moving the series forward. You've got interesting new villains who remain to torment our heroes in another film (see how that's done, George Lucas? Darth Maul forever!), you've got plenty of uncertainty regarding quite a few characters' allegiances and motivations, and you've got one heck of a final shot that promises a lot of humorous drama in the third film. What more could you want? Maybe another Mutant will chime in to elucidate on the part of the disenchanted masses, but I can't really speak to them. Pirates 2 was an amazing continuation of the story that wasn't at all what was expected of an adaptation of a theme park ride but blew us all away anyway, and I'm completely confident that what we'll get in that third film will not be anything we're expecting, but will certainly be what we need. Yeah! I love you, Johnny! But don't worry, people: I love Keira more. Hooray!
1.) Norrington is quite hot, even if he is pretty messed up. 2.) The water wheel and the three-way sword fight was fun. In fact, the last hour or so of the movie was pretty fun.
4.) There were some truly funny lines, especially when rum was involved. 5.) The undead monkey was, without a doubt, undeniably cool. You know, Kyle is so right about PotC:DMC being review-proof. The reviewers could have said, "This movie is a steaming pile of putrescence worse than back-to-back viewings of Freddy Got Fingered and The Doom Generation" and people still would have turned out for it in droves. Heck, we all watched the three Star Wars prequels, didn't we? Once you're invested in a franchise, you just have to go. It's part of being a fan. I liked the first Pirates movie. I really did, although it's not one I watch over and over and over. It was funny and unexpected, especially since I thought a movie based on a ride at Disney World was going to be incredibly lame. I'm not as into it as some people I know (most people I know), but it was enjoyable. But we heard that the second movie was really long, and because we're both tired and currently working our way through Buffy, we'd put off renting it. Vampires trump pirates these days, I guess. The second movie IS really long, and it really shouldn't have been. It's not a bad movie, as movies go. It's actually got some good moments, and it still doesn't take itself too seriously. But I spent the first half of the movie asking what the heck was going on because the editing and storytelling was pretty crappy, and what was the point of the whole island adventure with the cannibal tribe? That was some bad story telling, unless it's vastly important for the third movie. Sure, I'm fine with sometimes just including the funny. But it wasn't that funny, and it didn't add anything, so… yeah. It could have been cut. The truth is, much of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest was, well, boring. And in a movie like this, where the absurd is made serious, that's bad. Because if the movie is boring, it makes it hard to suspend disbelief. You spend more time wondering if the guy who played Bootstrap Bill played Grima (no) or how to play that dice game (didn't figure it out) or laughing at the really silly sea villains than you do caught up in the magic the story is trying to create. And when you're not enjoying the ride, you find plenty to pick on. I'm feeling hormonal today, so things I'd like to pick on…. 1.) Okay, Keira Knightley's character in this drives me insane. She really does. I'm all for the strong female role models. Seriously, I am. But Elizabeth is more a Pink Power Ranger. She can do everything, all the while touting her femininity and independence. She's obnoxious about being an independent, strong woman, kind of like a Mary Sue in fanfic. Her only saving grace is the moral shades of gray that they've introduced to her character. If she goes over the edge and chooses Jack eventually and becomes a feared pirate, all her obnoxiousness is forgiven. 2.) That said, Will is a total sap. 3.) Also, there is no real pairing in this film. The writers should totally go into threesome territory. They won't, naturally, because this IS Disney and kiddies watch the enterprise. But it would be really funny. 4.) The villains have to be the most distracting pieces of walking latex I have ever seen. Especially that hammerhead shark guy. Wow. I mean, you're supposed to be afraid of villains, not giggle at them. 5.) Not enough of Captain Jack Sparrow being Captain Jack Sparrow. I appreciate that this was a more introspective movie for him, and I think maybe that's what the bit about the cannibals on the island was supposed to be about. But there was an edge missing here, and the character was just sort of joyless and flat. See, none of these are really big complaints. There's nothing here that I found absolutely terrible. And like I said, maybe the third film will redeem some of the lesser qualities of this one. But PotC:DMC was long and largely boring, and I just can't find it in my heart to sing its praises after that.
Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?
Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]
For the film's release, the Walt Disney Company redesigned the Pirates of the Caribbean rides in Walt Disney World and Disneyland to feature captain Jack Sparrow, Barbossa, and an appearance by the films' supernatural character Davy Jones as part of the attraction In order to get an actual surprised reaction, the small kissing scene between Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann was cut out of Orlando Bloom's script Davy Jones and his 18-member crew of the Flying Dutchmen were entirely computer-generated, except for Bootstrap Bill. Bill Nighy wore a dark gray motion-capture suit with dozens of reference marks on his face and body while performing. ILM has refined the motion-capture system so that only two cameras were needed, compared with up to 16 in the past. Gore Verbinski did not tell the cast what was to happen with the bone cage. He wanted to get their natural reactions when it swung from side to side. Groovy Quotes
Captain Jack Sparrow: Now where is that monkey, I need to shoot something!
Pintel: You know you can't read.
Elizabeth Swann: Why doesn't your compass work?
Captain Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth! (to Gibbs) Hide the rum. Captain Jack Sparrow: Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Will has been press-ganged into Davy Jones's crew.
Captain Jack Sparrow: How did you get here?
Guard: Mr. Swann...
Crewmember: I have one arm and a bum leg.
Will Turner: This... is going to save Elizabeth?
Will Turner: What vexes all men?
Captain Jack Sparrow: My incredibly intuitive sense of the female creature tells me that you are troubled.
Elizabeth Swann: It's real!
Pintel: ...I always heard it said "kray-kin"
Elizabeth Swann: There will come a time when you'll have the chance to do somethng courageous, to do the right thing.
Tia Dalma: Davey Jones can't go on land but once every ten years. Land is where you are safe Jack Sparrow. And so you will carry land with you.
Captain Jack Sparrow: [Talking about Jack's debt to Jones] You already have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship is already over there.
Elizabeth Swann: Jack, the letters, give them back.
Captain Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] One word love; curiosity. You long for freedom. You long to do what you want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day you wont be able to resist. Captain Jack Sparrow: I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it! Captain Jack Sparrow: [to Elizabeth] You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin. Soundtrack Review
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