Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
“Murderers don't go home.”

2004 R / SciFi Horror Directed by: Phil Tippett Starring: Richard Burgi, Bill Brown, Kelly Carlson

Tagline

They're coming back to wipe us out!

Summary Capsule

Troopers hole up in a big ol' barn, shaking in dere widdle boots as aliens attack from outside and within

Mutant Meter

Movie Store [proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep]

DVD | Soundtrack (Score)

Justin's Rating: See, all they need is a big freakin' can of Raid
Justin's Review: Face it, if you liked Starship Troopers, even in a "guilty pleasure" capacity, you’re going to have to face a lifetime of discrimination and having to defend your affinity against the anti-Starship Troopers lobby. Trust me, they’re a vicious horde, and they lack no will when it comes to turning your opinion into your death sentence. "How could you even stomach such a load of vomit-filled film?" they’ll bark at you, stepping on your fingers as you try to pull yourself up out of the Rancor pit. "Don’t you know that Starship Troopers is the gateway drug to liking the Matrix sequels?"

"Like most Aliens clones, Troopers 2 can’t quite get the mix of horror, action and interesting characters right, and they end up looking silly for trying."

Yet, as for me and my house, we will continue to support ST. It was a great action film with loads of fun battle sequences, and the added bonus of shower scenes and fascist satire just sweetened the deal. This doesn’t mean I had to like Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation out of any misguided loyalty, however. And neither do you.

Troopers 2 could best be summed up as "Local Community Theater Presents: 'Aliens'". The story begins and ends on a dusty night-time planet where a bunch of no-name soldiers run to a gigantic silo to hide away from attacking alien bug-things. Instead of any sort of wide-spread battles, this movie delivers more of a dark-corridor, nasty-things-going-bump-in-the-eternal-night sort of affair. It really wants to be Aliens, like some little tyke who idolizes his big brother so much that he even wears big bro’s clothes and falls down the stairs due to oversized pants, but there’s no hope for any sort of decent homage. Like most Aliens clones, Troopers 2 can’t quite get the mix of horror, action and interesting characters right, and they end up looking silly for trying.

With a shoestring budget and only passing resemblances to the first film, Troopers 2 can’t help but be a disappointment when you directly compare it. There aren’t any starships to speak of, or daylight, or big name stars (although the deceased captain of the Brigham Young from the first movie returns as a trooper here… um, why?), or high-level special effects. Or plot, or convincing acting, or… well, I need to stop myself before I use up too many "or’s" and disable two of my fingers.

Since it can’t boast a bigger budget or a more lavish setting than some sort of intergalactic janitor’s closet, Troopers 2 tries its hand at misdirection to try to keep you from seeing how flimsy of a setup exists. There’s a lot of action, but its mostly close-ups of soldiers firing at an unseen enemy while barking out clichéd soldier phrases. There’s some sex and nudity, of course, but that’s just so out of place for this setting that it just seems… weird. Troopers 2’s biggest effort to keep us entertained is a slight twist on the bug’s ability to infiltrate human bodies and control them without those expensive special effects (think Body Snatchers, and then think about renting Invasion of the Body Snatchers as a better alternative). I thought it was kind of nifty detail that the infected humans started rotting as their animated bodies died.

The sole genuine bright spot in the film is Dax (Richard Burgi), an ex-soldier who shows up at the outpost and takes growly command. He’s only a bright spot because he, unlike 99% of these actors, can actually emote worth a crap.

Troopers 2 isn’t without a hint of redemption; the last half hour or so ratchets up the action and gore with some actual interesting events on screen (including, my favorite, one of the infected humans who literally rots apart). With more of a budget, or a more polished script, this could’ve been a recommended rental title. But since I have no direct personal power to influence the past and movie studios, this will remain a wasted effort that is best used to prop up a shaky couch leg.

Guns... More guns... And naked chest fondling.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Yeah, they’re not reusing footage from the first movie. Not at all.
• It’s a high tech silo!
• I like how the portable radar shows the bugs as not mere blips, but BUG-shaped blips
• Nice bug bombs… get it? Bug bombs?
• No, soldier. You didn’t kill every last bug on the planet with only a handful of bombs. Moron.
• Wow that is one dorky soldier
• Kissing equals DEATH!
• Mmm… mouth bugs

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

There aren't any credits, because all of these people were ashamed to make this film. Just kidding.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

The character of Captain Dax is named for Col. Dax in Paths of Glory, played by Kirk Douglas. Both men are officers who become disenfranchised and feel betrayed by their own military.

The storm clouds are actually toilet paper tubes with cotton stuck to them, slowly rolled forward. They were darkened and layered digitally.

Groovy Quotes

Pvt. Lei Sahara: There're too many of them, Dax! You stay here, you'll die!
Captain Dax: Murderers don't go home.

Soldier: You mean we didn’t kill them all?
Dax: You never kill them all, son.

Dax: Watch out for officers, son, it’s their job to get you killed.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Starship Troopers
• Aliens
• Invasion of the Body Snatchers