The Seventh Annual Mutant Awards: 2004

C'mon, own up: you'd LOVE to see this category at the Oscars, wouldn't you? Just one more reason why Mutants Are Mighty. Anyways, it's remarkable how easily severed limbs spring to mind with this group. Kyle alone had 17 write-in nominations, but we somehow held him back.

It turns out there's a LOT of movies that involved severed or artificial body parts. I can think of some classics that didn't even make the nomination list that EACH rock the house on their own... don't cry just because Ghost in the Shell didn't get the nod! But we did remember such examples as Luke's robotic hand from Empire Strikes Back (MUCH better than Anakin's "wimply golden replacement arm" from Attack of the Clones), the pseudo-Swiss Army knives that were Robocop's hands, and the ACTUAL Swiss Army knives that were Edward Scissorhands' hands.

Still, when one guy gets nominated twice into the list for SEPARATE reasons, you have a good idea who's probably going to walk away with it. Unless they lost a leg.

Last year's lifetime award winner Bruce Campbell got a healthy nod in the severed limb department because hey, let's face it, there's not a lot of movies whose heroes are forced to hack off their own demonic hands and watch them scuttle around the floor (the "bad" hand was nominated). But one better than that? What good old Ash did with that poor stump of his: strap on a nice, functional gas chainsaw and go to town on the forces of evil. It's a long-standing favourite of ours around here when Ash first straps the saw on, and was pretty much a shoo-in for the win.

Consider the sugar given.

FINAL TALLY:
• 45.5% - Evil Dead 2: Ash replaces his hand with a chainsaw to use on the Deadites.
• 15.5% - Edward Scissorhands: Edward's scissor fingers — a veritable swiss army knife on legs.
• 13% - Evil Dead 2: Ash's severed hand goes all evil and dead all up in his mug.
• 9.3% - Addams Family Values: Thing proves to us that a detached hand is still a useful member of the family.
• 7.3% - RoboCop: His arms and legs — they can hide guns, include handy dandy computer interface terminals which double as horrible and deadly spikes, and have magnetised hands. 
• 4% - Return of the Jedi: Luke's robotic right hand, grafted onto his stump after Darth Vader chops it off.
• 2.3% - House: A living Vietnam vet uses an undead Vietnam vet’s severed arm as a weapon.

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