Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"Dancing is my life! DANCING IS MY LIIIIIIFE!"

2006 NR / Comedy Parody Directed by: Neal Brennan Starring: Dominique Swain, Mikey Day, Chris Kattan

Tagline

Where the dancing is dirty, the pink is pretty, and the foot runs loose.

Summary Capsule

It's a wholesale butchering of 80's movies, done to feed VH1's starved need for 80's material.

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Justin's Rating: I feel so gnarly...
Justin's Review: The problem with the 80's is that… well, it ended. We might well pretend that somewhere, possibly in South Dakota, the 80's is living on it its spandex-clad, ankle-warming glory, but those are the delusions of slobbering madmen. Sooner or later, we will run out of 80's movies (more specifically, the teen comedies that held an iron grip on the era), and where will we be? Where will VH1 be? Out of a job, destitute, and selling body parts for used DVD copies of Sixteen Candles at the off-ramp of the interstate, that's where. It's not a pretty thought.

"Stein also reappears a few times during the movie to 'explain' jokes, which caused sudden and severe trauma to my brain."

VH1 happens to be more proactive than you, so they went ahead and made another 80's teen comedy. No matter that it's the mid 2000's, no matter that this idea's been done a few times over in the past ten years, and no matter that we 80's lovers weren't exactly crying out for lame retreads of former glories — VH1 delivered Totally Awesome. Which it really isn't, and I can't even give them a lame clap for trying. I sort of wish they hadn't.

The conceit of this piece of cinematic artistry is that VH1 and Ben Stein (?) found this long-lost movie in some vault in Arizona, and so we are treated to one last blast of the 80's. Stein also reappears a few times during the movie to "explain" jokes, which caused sudden and severe trauma to my brain. It's a poorly thought-out framing device which is as cool and funny as, well, having anyone explain jokes to you before they happen.

The rest of Totally Awesome plays a straight-faced mishmash of popular 80's flicks, like Footloose, The Karate Kid and Better Off Dead. Brother and sister Charlie and Lori move to California (is there any other 80's state?), where Charlie discovers that he's a big dork and Lori discovers that dancing is forbidden in her town. There's a bully, a werewolf, a prom (sort of), big hair, pastels, and a final sports meet where everything is decided in one fell swoop. Lousy overacting abounds like mutated bunny rabbits in heat, so prepare for amateur TV hour. I suggest placing a thick stick between your teeth so you won't bite off your own tongue.

A couple of the jokes work, like a "supercomputer" that takes about six hours to do simple multiplication, but not nearly enough. One problem is that a majority of the movie is played fairly straight, with only a winky-winky attitude lurking at the corners of each scene. Mimicking a famous movie isn't the same as a parody — a parody also has to be pretty funny. Which brings us to our other problem: others have done the retro-80's in comedy so, so much better (The Wedding Singer, Not Another Teen Movie or even South Park's "Aspen" episode). It's a lame attempt of recalling far better movies, degrading their reputation for anyone who is unfortunate enough to see this movie before the real deal.

Bogus. Totally bogus.

Turquoise never did get much of a fair shake Who out there wished for Chris Kattan in spandex? You SUCK.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Ben Stein… talking about Ferris Bueller… which had a cameo by Ben Stein. The mind reels!
• Well, nudity by minute 3. Goodie.
• The rare "running crotch kick"
• "DANCING IS MY LIIIIIFE!" Okay, that got a good laugh out of me.
• The kid with the Devo hat
• "Tony" Loc rapping "Crazy Stuff"
• If you ever wondered what happened to Chris Kattan, here you go.
• Arrgh the bone! The bone!
• The "small" supercomputer

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

Guh... (the sound of Justin's brain escaping)

Groovy Quotes

Principal: Then everyone took of their Sunday shoes. They began to cut loose.

Random Kid: Oh my God, Nick's turning into a werewolf again!

Lori: Dancing is my life! DANCING IS MY LIIIIIIFE!

Yamagashi: There's only one thing left to do. Buy a gun, and murder Kip. Murder Kip!

If you liked this movie, try these:

• The Wedding Singer
• Not Another Teen Movie
• Romy and Michele's High School Reunion