Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United States."

1995 PG / Comedy Satire Directed by: Michael Moore Starring: John Candy, Alan Alda, Rhea Perlman

Tagline

Surrender pronto, or we'll level Toronto!

Summary Capsule

A group of high-strung Americans invade Canada for the war of the century — well, at least the month.

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Amazon.com: DVD

Justin's Rating: Oh CANADA! My home away from HOME! Where mooses poop and deer ROAM!
Justin's Review: Canada. A land so close, and yet so far from my attention. A land that forced me to sing the American national anthem when I lost my passport at customs (true story), a land where there's about a jillion acres per living person, a land where PoolMan resides and rules his army of hedgehogs. Canada's forever been sort of the affectionate little brother to the USA (or, as Homer Simpson put it, "America Jr."), and we can't ever imagine coming to clash with those jovial folks.

"Haven't you ever tried to pass off a Canadian quarter at the checkout line and felt like such a criminal?"

Or... can we?

Blowhard pseudo-documentarian Michael Moore pays tribute to our beaver-infested Northern neighbor in Canadian Bacon, and shows himself to be a much better director of fiction when he's admitting he's making fiction. In his documentaries, Moore's taken on corporations (Roger and Me), gun violence (Bowling for Columbine) and Dubya (Fahrenheit 9/11), but here he tones down his rhetoric and uses a decidedly absurd situation to make a (for him) subtle point about the bloodthirsty media and the fickleness of political ratings.

Canadian Bacon posits that the current ratings-deprived President drums up a fake "cold war" with Canada to boost ratings. Splendid! I mean, not that war is anything to laugh about, but the situation at least is pretty unique. Unfortunately for both governments, Niagara Falls sheriff Bud (John Candy, in his last theatrical role) takes the threat seriously and leads a well-intentioned if poorly-armed invasion into the Land of the Maple Leaf Flag.

I originally watched Canadian Bacon with a Canadian friend of mine (who looks amazingly like a normal American). She did not find the "gentle jabs" at her homeland amusing, but she also doesn't get why I wear elephant slippers to class. Some people are like that. But then I watched it with a balding pastor friend, and we just roared throughout the flick. It's a bit slow at start, but soon the flood of one-liners, sight gags, and over-the-top characterizations (Rhea Pearlman, Kevin Pollack, and Omega Force, to name a few) are awesome. As in, I sit in awe.

Nevertheless to say, Canadian Bacon makes fun of all the aspects of Canadian life that we dumb Americans just don't get. Like, what's up with their quarters invading our country's supply? Haven't you ever tried to pass off a Canadian quarter at the checkout line and felt like such a criminal? You did? POLICE!

But this film answers all, and is a revelation and a beacon of light to all seeking the Way of Michael Moore. And for the two of you Canadians with power AND Internet access, I don't want to see death threats or we'll just have to get... nasty (heheheheURK!)

PoolMan's Rating: 5 out of 5 big, red, beautiful maple leafs, eh? (and in Canada, it ain't leaves... ask someone from Toronto)
PoolMan's Review: Seeing as Justin has decided not outline the plot, it goes a little something like this: The President (Mr Alda!) decides that to save his dwindling peacetime popularity, the US needs to start another Cold War to unite it in the spirit of Yankee pride. And who better to pick on than the complacent Canadians? They would never fight back, so he comes out smelling like roses absolutely risk-free, leading his nation against the great Canadian "evil".

"I LOVE all the Canuck-bashing jokes in this movie"

Unfortunately, some American residents take the whole thing a little seriously, and start raiding our fair nation. I LOVE the concept, and the fact that all the crazy Americans are played by Canucks (John Candy in particular... this was I think his last complete movie before he died) tickles me pink.

Unlike Justin's friend (who was no doubt from Ontario) I LOVE all the Canuck-bashing jokes in this movie, because if you really sit still and listen carefully, you see how they reflect American world views. In other words, it's not an insight into how the Canadians live, it's an insight into how the rest of the world (read: United States) sees us. Betcha didn't see that coming, did ya?

Anyways, I'm not going to turn this into a political forum (much as I normally like to). Canadian Bacon is a classic film, and there is no way on Earth you should miss it.

Everyone should have Rip Torn as their Secretary of Defense I'd say he let himself go at this point, but when did you ever see Candy looking trim? Clever disguise!

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Michael Moore as gun-toting anti-Canadian.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

No Canadians were harmed in this production.

Unnecessary Background

Did you know that the US and Canada actually did go to war at one point... and Canada won? It's true! During the War of 1812, the US (smiting from British attacks) tried to gain military control over Canadian territory in the Great Lakes region. The attack into Canadian territory on the British went badly, so badly in fact that the British forces shoved the American ones back and then invaded the US to claim a number of forts in the Detroit region. There was another American incursion, which suffered huge losses to British, French-Canadian and Indian defenders, but thereafter a naval battle in Lake Erie stopped another British invasion force and the British surrendered when the Indians deserted.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Because of John Candy's untimely passing, director Moore was forced to alter the ending of the film.

Justin: Other issues I have with Canada: (1) Why is your country's anthem so slow and incoherent? (2) Are you part of the UK or a free country or just hoping nobody notices you up there? (3) What schitzophrenic juice do you consume that makes you speak both French and English? Do you have some sort of death wish? (4) Take Alex Trebek back!

PoolMan: (1) Our beer has potency. (2) We're free from the UK, but we're enslaved to your media! (3) Waaaaaaaaay beyond my ability to respond to. (I speak both myself) (4) No. You made him popular, you keep him.

Groovy Quotes

Mountie: What's this all aboot?
Roy Boy [pointing a gun]: We have ways of making you pronounce the letter O, pal.

Gus: Canadians are always dreaming up a lotta ways to ruin our lives. The metric system, for the love of God! Celsius! Neil Young!

TV Announcer: The Canadians. They walk among us. William Shatner. Michael J. Fox. Monty Hall. Mike Meyers. Alex Trebek. All of them Canadians. All of them here.

[TV Announcer describes the Canadian National Tower in Toronto]
TV Announcer: It is the height of six American football fields, or five Canadian football fields. As if Canadian football really counts.

Smiley: When have you ever heard anyone say, "Honey, lets stay in and order Canadian food"?

TV Announcer: Think of your children pledging allegiance to the maple leaf. Mayonnaise on everything. Winter 11 months of the year. Anne Murray - all day, every day.

TV Announcer: Like maple syrup, Canada's evil oozes over the United States.

Highway Patrolman: I do have to fine you. That will be a thousand dollars Canadian, or 10 American dollars if you prefer.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• The Whole Nine Yards
• Bowling for Columbine
• Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy