Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"You're like Daniel Boone that was bitten by a radioactive Davy Crockett!"

2004 PG-13 / Documentary Comedy Directed by: Mark Hamill Starring: Bruce Campbell, Mark Hamill, Kevin Smith

Tagline

Hollywood invaded the Comic Book World... Now the real Comic Book Heros are striking back!

Summary Capsule

Mark Hamill pretends to be a comic book freak while Billy West pretends to press sheet metal. Irony.

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Amazon.com: DVD

Nancy's Rating: Sounded, looked, coulda been so good.
Nancy's Review: Hello. My name is Mark Hamill.

Let’s talk about my movie, called Comic Book: The Movie.

"This is me MOCKING the people that allow me to mortgage this MANSION and the people who are the reason I am able to own a solid gold poodle (Shout out to Poopsy! I love you!)."

Obviously, I'm a star. I was a major character in one of culture's biggest franchises. I epitomize youthful exuberance and angst-y teenagers identify with my relationships with my father — one of betrayal and all out war. I’m a king. I’m an icon. I’m a god. But, do I take this place in pop culture with a grain of salt? Am I willing to simply smile and wave at my fans, and then go to bed thinking ‘I’m only human’?

No!

I'm so full of myself; I can't stand all these fanatics freaking out over the sight of 'Luke Skywalker' all day every day. People dress up like Luke and stand under my windowsill at night! I mean, Harrison Ford doesn't have to deal with this. Perhaps that's because he was also Indiana Jones and has a slew of other acting credentials. Harrison Ford is Harrison Ford, while Mark Hamill is merely Luck Skywalker. And because of that, I’ve got two complexes — An inferiority complex which allows me to make crap like this, and a superiority complex that allows me to think I’m clever enough to do so. Lemme tell ya, I'm a bitter fellow.

So who am I taking it out on in this film? My fans. My loyal fans who just want to love me. I'm making a movie about how crazy and psychotic they really can be. I'm making a movie that mildly mocks people who devote their lives to fandom. And I'll even get so down and dirty to PLAY one of them. I'll make myself into a history teacher from Wisconsin — what could be lamer than THAT? — and I'll just give everyone a good taste of what it's like to be me. Surrounded by weirdos.

Oh, I'll throw Kevin Smith, Hugh Heffner and Bruce Campbell on the cover, but I won't give them more than ten minutes of screentime. Oh, I'll play it all of like it's a documentary, but no one will believe it. That's because my acting won't be convincing, it will be stiff and riding off cliches. Oh, I’ll GET Billy West, the mildly creepy voice of Ren & Stimpy. Oh, he’ll be KINDA funny.

Oh, you’ll get a few laughs, but they won’t be my fault.

Yes, yes, I'll play this movie off like a salute to comic freaks, but really it's my own self-indulgent piece of mockery. This is a full on leap into I-think-I'm-so-funny world. This is me MOCKING the people that allow me to mortgage this MANSION and the people who are the reason I am able to own a solid gold poodle (Shout out to Poopsy! I love you!).

Oh, and it will be boring. By God, will it be boring. So boring Nancy will leave it on, get up and go do other things. You’ll get so much done watching my movie; it’s like an inspirational movie to get to your to-do list. And see guys, this is the best I can do!

I’m Mark Hamill. This is what I’m all about.

Stop. Hammer time. It's Liberty Lad! Freedom Foo Fighter! Patriotic Pat! All hail the Bruce!

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• All of our friends are in this movie! I especially like the Joker.
• Hugh Heffner is the first go-to comic books guy
• Billy West standing next to a cut-out of Fry from Futurama (He does the voice of Fry)
• The three men at the table – who ask Donald to sit with them but Donald is scared away – are Chewbacca, Darth Vader, and Boba Fett.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

No. No it is not.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Don Swan (Mark Hamill) interviews Kevin Smith in the movie and asks him about Smith's fictional first draft of the 'Commander Courage' movie. Smith mentions the movie's producers constantly hounding him over adding a giant spider to the 'Courage' script for no reason, among other problems. The scene is directly referencing Smith's famous real-life hassles attempting to draft a 'Superman' script for Warner Bros.

The characters Donald Swan (played by Mark Hamill) and Derek Sprang (Tom Kenny) are named for two comic book artists, Curt Swan, who drew Superman in the 1960s, and Dick Sprang, who drew Batman in the 1950s.

Groovy Quotes

Taylor Donohue: Yeah, well, he's out. That's his swan song, and—
Ricky: Yeah, speaking of swan songs, dude, where is Don Swan? You know, he wouldn't have missed that meeting. He loves old guys. And comic books.

Woman at Party: You know, I didn't get your name, though.
Ice Tray: My name, yeah. Ice.
Woman at Party: Oh, you mean like Ice Cube or ~
Ice Tray: No, no, no. No, like Ice Tray. There's a whole lot of me, baby.

Derek Sprang: [whisper] I'll buy you more toys, buddy. I'll buy you more toys. You gotta work with me here.
Jill Sprang: Mac, if you're too tired, just say. Are you too tired?
Derek Sprang: He's not tired. He's wired!
Jill Sprang: Did Daddy promise you some toys or something?
Derek Sprang: Don't put ideas in his head, honey.
Mac Sprang: Yes.
Jill Sprang: What? What did he say to you?
Mac Sprang: He said, if you work with me... if you work with me, I will give you some more toys.
Derek Sprang: [coughs violently]
Jill Sprang: It's like an hour past his bedtime. Bribing him with toys? I think he should go to sleep.
Derek Sprang: No, I said, "There's so much more *joy* to be had at the... convention." I didn't say I'd buy him more toys.

Donald Swan: Hey, look! There's Superman!
Taylor Donohue: I don't want to upset you, Don, but that's a guy in a Superman outfit.
Donald Swan: Yeah, but it's a darn good one!

Derek Sprang: You're Commander Courage! You're like Daniel Boone that was bitten by a radioactive Davy Crockett!

Leo Matuzik: Little do you know, you know? Maybe that's why they say that - because you know very little. You don't know a lot.

[looking at a picture of a steam-engine train]
Donald Swan: Now, y'see, to me, that's a train. It looks like a train, it's old, it's~
Ricky: I think to everyone that's a train, 'cause it is.

Kevin Smith: The studio - they said they liked it, but they didn't like it. They kept pushing the giant spider in the third act. They wanted Commander Courage to fight a giant spider in the third act.
Donald Swan: Literally?
Kevin Smith: Literally! A giant spider. And I didn't get it at the time because I still lived in Jersey. Now I live in Los Angeles, I get it. Spider's a good idea. Wasn't then. But I was young... and straight.

Ricky: Hef, you're really, like, my favorite superhero. 'Cause you were talking about how everything was, like, buttoned-down in the 50s, Don. Well, Hef kinda came along and crashed through that wall and broke down all the taboos. You're like Pajama Man, and I could be your sidekick, like I could be Chick... Chick Boy.

Donald Swan: When I sat through Pearl Harbor, I just loved that movie. But can you imagine if Ben Affleck was able to fly up, break the planes in half and dump the Japanese into the ocean?

Derek Sprang: The first time I ran into Don, it's like "Wow, another mouth-breather with astigmatism and bad posture that digs comic books and weird old records and stuff!" It's like "You know the secret handshake too!"

Stan Lee: Everybody was talking about Jackson Whitney and Commander Courage. And I'm sorry I wasn't here for that time, but you know, I was off saving America and freedom and making the world safe for comic books.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• An Evening With Kevin Smith
• Star Wars
• Spider-Man