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Summary Capsule
- Deadly sharks are the cure for stupidity, since they're gonna eat everyone stupid enough to mess with them
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Justin's Rating: Deep Blue Hedgehogs doesn't have the same kick
Justin's Review: Some have called Deep Blue Sea a second-rate Jaws, others have claimed it to be a fourth-rate Jaws 3-D. Whatever your stance, and while Deep Blue Sea rightfully failed to win any Oscars for best anything, it does remain a success as one of our modern day highly-budgeted B-movies. This approach to filmmaking -- to purposefully make a sub-standard film using elements of old monster and sci-fi movies, while throwing wadded gobs of cash away in the process -- boggles my mind in its intent. Yet people expecting high art on the high seas inevitably walk out of the theaters with their noses cranked up, and people who typically enjoy this genre of film give it a pass over, because it looks like a generic big blockbuster.
I'm not joking! Hit the back button as fast as you can, lest temptation overcome you!
Please, please, PLEASE don't read any further! I'll pay you to stop! I'll give you my young cousin Ernie as your personal slave for all time! Just stop it already!
Well, you're a sucker for punishment. Can't say I'm surprised. If nothing else, Deep Blue Sea is fairly notable for bucking the traditional trends of character elimination by killing off Samuel L. Jackson in the first act. It's completely unexpected; Jackson's character is giving a motivational speech while the scared characters are trapped in a terrifying situation, and right at the high point of his message, a big shark comes up and makes sushi out of the man's Man. Considering that the next-biggest star in this film is LL Cool J, that takes serious stones to pull off.
The payoff is audience uncertainty for the rest of the film, leaving the question of which character(s) will survive to the end credits. More movies should take note of this deliberately anti-cliché move, and start following suit. Stop depending on predictability and put the audience on edge -- that's where the real "thrill" in thrillers comes from.
If only the rest of Deep Blue Sea were so original. It's actually a pretty fun casserole bake of leftovers from Jaws and Jurassic Park, sprinkled with the crumbly bits of The Poseidon Adventure. A group of scientists in the middle of the ocean are doing what all scientists do best -- going mad and tampering in God's domain -- in trying to solve Alzheimer’s by genetically enhancing sea creatures' brains for some vague reason. It's a noble purpose, of course, but the subjects in question aren't cute little anenomies or dolphins. No sir, the price for the cure is giving sharks vastly enhanced intellect, the sea-worthy equivalent of strapping on a missile rack and a gatling minigun onto a grizzly bear. Sure, we logical humans think that it's maybe a weensy bit problematic, with making nature's ultimate killing machine an honor's student, but the scientists never see it that way. Until it's too late, of course, at which point they're kicking themselves for not enhancing THEIR brains and getting tenure at MIT.
While super-smart sharks are a slight worry, they're not much of a concern for us landlubbers. So instead of keeping the sharks in land-based aquariums -- where the worst thing that could happen is that Chompy breaks free of his prison walls and then suffocates on the floor outside of the women's restroom -- they just build an incredibly expensive sea laboratory and shark pen, where the only thing between the scientists and the sharks is a flimsy wall of technology. And that NEVER fails people, no way, no how. Do I even have to mention that most of this lab is far underwater, only has one elevator to the surface, and keeps the sharks penned in by a weak chain-link fence?
The only explanation I can think of is that all of these people are part of a suicidal Heaven's Gate-type cult, but they're also loaded with moolah and are a bit too posh to merely kill themselves with a length of rubber hose and a running car in a garage.
Everything that goes wrong, does: people get trapped far underwater, all routes of escape are cut off, the hallways start flooding so Chompy, Bitey and Flossy can roam the place, and dinner at the cafeteria involves brussel sprouts. Upgrading from Jaws' rather lame animatronic shark, we're finally treated to some pretty intense computer generated sharks, and while they're not too capable of hiding behind a door and leaping out at the appropriate moment, their scare value is nothing to sneeze at. How the sharks actually take over the facility is a far stretch by any means, but at least it's a bit different than what we're used to.
"They cut the power." "What do you mean, THEY cut the power?"
I actually lied a bit up there, saying there wasn't anything else too original in this flick. There are a handful of other scenes, including the unorthodox opening teaser and an undersea parrot, that you won't be seeing that often in theaters. Plus, hey, this has got to be the only movie I've ever seen where the script requires a girl to nearly get naked in order to attack the monsters. It's not a flimsy, "whoops, the bad doggie ripped off half of my shirt... and my pants... and my thong..." excuse either, but something technical and scientific that you can bring to tomorrow's science show-and-tell. How To Kill Sharks By Getting Nekkid. Babe-tested, science-approved.
So give the mad scientists their due for at least entertaining the world at large with their flights of insane fantasy, and never, ever get in the water. Even your own shower.
 Chompy needs braces, big-time
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- Sharks are birds' natural enemy
- Underwater stretchers are good tools to the perceptive shark
- The license plate pulled from the shark's teeth is the same plate found in the Tiger shark in Jaws
- Director Renny Harlin has a cameo as one of the employees leaving the facility early in the movie (he's the one with long, blonde hair and sunglasses).
- The sharks are killed in the same ways as the sharks in the 3 Jaws films
- The seaplane used in this film is the same one used in Six Days Seven Nights
- The orange colored mini-sub visible in the wet-entry area was the same mini-sub seen in the end of Sphere, also starring Samuel L. Jackson
- At the beginning, when the sharks strikes the boat, the force causes the teddy bear to fall in the water. This is the same teddy bear dropped at the beginning of Cliffhanger - also directed by Renny Harlin
Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?
Sorry, nope.
Groovy Quotes
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Russell: Nature is lethal but it doesn't hold a candle to man.
Carter Blake: What you've done is taken God's oldest killing machine and given it reason and will. What you've done is knocked us all the way to the bottom of the damn food chain. That's not a great leap foward in my book.
Tom Scoggins: See how that works? She screws with the sharks, and now the sharks, the sharks are screwing with us.
Janice Higgins: Beneath this glassy surface, a world of gliding monsters!
Preacher: Ooh, I'm done! Brothers never make it out of situations like this! Not ever!
Janice Higgins: There's doctor Jim Whitlock, the most brilliant man ever!
Russell Franklin: He's pissing into the wind! How brilliant can he be?
Janice Higgins: You'll see!
Russell Franklin: Just what the hell did you do to those sharks?
Dr. Susan McCallister: Their brains weren't large enough to harvest sufficient amounts of the protein complex. So we violated the Harvard Compact. Gemini used gene therapies to increase their brain mass. A larger brain means more protein. As a side effect the sharks got smarter.
Janice Higgins: You stupid bitch!
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This review page was last updated on 3.21.04
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