Justin's Rating: 12 dead hookers. And just try to figure out what that rating means!
Justin's Review: Comedies are almost certainly doomed to quick deaths in the theater. The common response is, "I'll see it on video." And so many, many stupid people have missed this wonderful flick, perhaps the funniest of the summer (1998). I consider it a good sign when even though there were only 6 people in the theater on a Saturday afternoon, we were all laughing so hard that we missed some parts.

It's a simple concept: a couple of buddies start a revenge-for-hire business to raise money for a heart transplant for one of the guy's father. But apparently this altercation takes place in an alternate universe where Chris Farley is still alive (in one of his last funny roles), where dead fish chain-start a drug war, and where dead hookers reign supreme. I love it! Norm Macdonald, from SNL, has a wonderful dry wit about him. Chevy Chase has a twisted little role as a doctor, Jack Warden is the Pop from Hell, and Gary Coleman (hallucination guy) & Adam Sandler (Satan) steal one of the best scenes in the movie.

This isn't sophisticated comedy, and if you like Norm McDonald in the sense of hating him, then you'll probably distrust all my future recommendations. I find something appealing in his monotone dry wit (more so on the sitcom Norm). Most "stupid" guy movies tend to have an overobnoxious, overexcited main character; here, Mitch is laid back and yet still out-of-control.

And in the end, don't we all wish we could get revenge on jerks that plague our lives? This may just be the solution. Hire Norm MacDonald.

Kyle's Rating: They say when you look into the abyss, the abyss looks back. They’re right.
Kyle's Review: You know, I really thought I had reviewed Dirty Work a long time ago. But it makes sense that I veered clear of it, because viewing Dirty Work is like looking into a mirror. That’s right: I am practically Norm Macdonald! Except he has a sitcom and I have a 12-speed bike! There are also some other difference, but let’s not get into those now. But Dirty Work is fairly close to the usual events of my life. I make little notes to myself (NOTE TO SELF: stop revealing to people that I am similar to Norm Macdonald), I am very good at revenge, and often blonde women will find themselves strangely attracted to me despite me not being that attractive and mistaking their grandmothers to be the local pimp. If you want a special insight into the Mutant Correspondent Kyle (Klye to my friends), look no farther than the Kyle-centric film Dirty Work. And ladies, if you’ve got a thing for Norm but can’t afford the rigors of dating a celebrity, hey, I’m practically Norm! Date me!

If you aren’t interested in me but you are interested in maybe seeing this movie, I recommend it. I quote Paul Simon: “I should be depressed. My life’s a mess. But I’m having a good time.” That sums up the existence of Mitch Weaver (Norm!). He can’t hold down a job, his girlfriend jump dumped him, and all he’s got in the world is his best friend (who is fat in a funny way) and his best friend’s dad who has always been a sort of dad to Mitch, albeit in a scary sort of way. But when his best friend’s dad falls ill, all sorts of torrid secrets come out and then Mitch and his fat friend have to come up with lots of money to save the dad! Can they do it! Will their solution be to open a revenge-for-hire agency and get paid to pay back evil dudes on behalf of the downtrodden? Will they do stupid things but then do one big good thing that ultimately redeems them and makes everyone, including the 70%-hot Traylor Howard, love them? Yeah, yeah, of course. What did you expect? Oh, Chris Farley and hookers figure heavily into the plot in mysterious and surprising ways, just like in real life. Look, if you dig Norm you can find enough in this to like, but if you hated Norm when he was doing Weekend Update STAY AWAY! There is a general moral to SNL-inspired movies: if you liked the film’s featured SNL player when they were on SNL, you’ll like the movie. Though if you don’t Norm, I can’t date you. Sorry.

Recommended for:
If you've ever gotten a wedgie...
Sandler, MacDonald, or Farley fans

Intermission!
This film is remarkable in the fact that it is the director debeut of Bob Saget [insert your own inane sound effect here] from Full House. Also catch the outtakes during the end credits.

Groovy Quotes:

Mitch: I bet you didn't count on me and my army of prostitutes!

Mitch: It wasn't easy, 'cause I wasn't comfortable expressing my, whaddya call them? Emotions.

Mitch: Hey honey, I understand that you're upset. Hey! Maybe you'd feel better after we had some dirty sex!

Mitch: Things could've been worse... [really loudly] I could've gotten my nose bit off by a Saigon whore!

Sam: Well, Mitch, looks like we got ourselves a fight!
Mitch: Great! It's fighting time. Can I be on their side?

Sam: Mitch, I just want to go over there and rip off their heads. Every one of them.
Mitch: Yeah, yeah. It would probably work too, since they're so tired from BEATING US MERCILESSLY.

Mitch: Now, you go back to doing something blatantly homoerotic.

Mitch: [over phone] Hello, real cops?

Mitch: Look, it's kinda embarassing being physically afraid of a 100 year-old man who just had a coronary...

Doctor: Now, let me ask you, are you a betting man?
Sam: I don't know... Sure.
Doctor: Well, if someone was taking bets on your father's bout with death, I'd bet everything I own on death. It's a good bet.

Mitch: Are you telling me that you bet on the fight in Rocky III and you bet AGAINST Rocky?

Satan: We eat the pig and then together we burn! BURN!
Gary Coleman: Whatchu talkin' about, Satan?

Theater manager: Why don't you get a horse and live in the mountains or something?

[Men In Black Who Like To Have Sex With Each Other]
Voice #1: Look, an alien.
Voice #2: We better have sex with each other.

Mitch: For every genius business idea, there had to be a first. Like the guy who first thought of delivering pizza to people's houses. Or the guy who invented crack!

Kathy: Don't you think it's kind of silly for grown men to fight?
Mitch: Are you kidding? Haven't you seen the movie Kickboxer? They were all men.

Mitch: Pal, I know a dead hooker when I see one!

Mitch: My goodness! I've never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!
Man: Lord knows I have.

Doctor: Well, there are nine days left. Might I suggest kidnapping the child of a celebrity?

Bearded Lady: Hey baby, you ever have a girl with a beard before?
Mitch: Can't say I have, bearded bride.

Voice: He took away my chainsaw, and now he's using it on me! Is that a hand grenade?

[After his prison "experience"]
Mitch: You fellas have a lot of growing up to do!

Pops: What are you so jumpy about?
Mitch: I don't know, maybe it's your lifelong pattern of random assaults.

Sam: Doc, what happened to your foot?
Doctor: What I don't understand is, when you owe a bookie a lot of money and he blows off a toe on your foot, you still owe him the money! It doesn't seem fair.

Cole: And you know how I feel about the homeless. They're human beings. And they have no homes.

Kathy: You mean to tell me you thought she was a drug dealer?
Mitch: No! No! We thought she was a whore! [winces]

Jimmy: Old Jack's an odd duck... Many times, I catch him staring at me sleeping, which is off-putting. His feet bleed.

Jimmy: Today, in the land of the skunks, the man with half a nose is king!

Mitch: Now, you probably want to go back to your home, put up your legs and have a tall cold glass of chihuahua piss or something...

If you liked this movie, try these:
Tommy Boy
The Blues Brothers

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