Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. You are wasting my time!"

1994 R / Biography Drama Directed by: Tim Burton Starring: Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Bill Murray

Tagline

Movies were his passion. Women were his inspiration. Angora sweaters were his weakness.

Summary Capsule

A behind-the-scenes look at the man who directed some of the gleefully worst movies of all time.

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Amazon.com: DVD | Amazon.com: Soundtrack

Sue's Rating: Better than a long whiff of ether in a Civil War surgical tent!
Sue's Review: Ed Wood is a schlocky film about a schlocky writer/director of schlocky B movies. I could, in fact, stop my review right there, because I know this is a cult favorite, crafted by the fine hand of Tim Burton no less, and we're a cult site and I'm supposed to feel the cult love, and if you can't say something nice you shouldn't say anything at all... *deep breath*... oh man, I'm sorry but this just sucked.

"I took five very determined shots at it, the last with a long run-up, a girding of the loins, and a liter bottle of Mountain Dew to keep me going. To no avail."

I've got to be honest. I didn't even watch Ed Wood to the absolute end. It wasn't for lack of trying. I took five very determined shots at it, the last with a long run-up, a girding of the loins, and a liter bottle of Mountain Dew to keep me going. To no avail. I nodded off. Just plain nodded off. Every time. I wasn't even tired! It was like Johnny Depp and his angora sweater sucked all of the oxygen out of the room. Don't get me wrong, I think Johnny Depp is one of the best actors of my generation. In my wild, misspent youth, I lusted after Johnny Depp. I don't even dislike Tim Burton. Heck, I loved Big Fish! I blame the sweater.

My guess is that the point of this movie was to showcase the great drive and enthusiasm of Mr. Wood in his production of countless craptastical movies. Maybe it's all about the idea of success as a state of mind, or daring to live your dream, or reaching for the stars - even when they won't return your calls and you've been served with several restraining orders.

I wasn't feeling it, folks. All I got was, "Holy cow, that guy is creeeeeepy." His demeanor was too chipper, his smiles too manic, his monologues so rapid-fire that they deteriorated into white noise and my brain went all slushy under the onslaught. I mean, there are some funny lines, but quite of few of them were drowned in the 'Golly gee, Mister, that's just swell!' schtick. Drowned, I tell you. Like puppies in a burlap sack.

The supporting characters really aren't much better. Bela "don't call me Boris!" Legosi is especially one nasty, temperamental, drug-addicted son of a biscuit. He's a little sad, a little funny, a little edgy, a little pathetic and a little repellent. None of those things make me want to give him a hug, y'know? In fact, there are no characters whatsoever that I can cheer for, or that seem to have any appreciable depth. Despite that, the movie is certainly well acted, but only after you remind yourself that overacting is in the script.

In retrospect, I think that if a few external factors had been different, I might have had a better - at least cheerier - perspective on Ed Woods' alleged culty sweetness. Those factors would have included large quantities of alcohol, mycologically produced hallucinogens and a large group of boisterous, roistering friends to share them with. Unfortunately, I have long since been riding the wagon, I'm allergic to certain varieties of mushroom and I like my friends a little too much to inflict this on any of them. I mean, what have they ever done to me??? Come to think of it, few of my friends roister. At least not when I'm around.

Now I know there are folks out there who are even now screaming words like "heretic" and "apostate" and "shallow minded idiot" and even "big nasty poopyhead', and to you all, I apologize.

Maybe sometime, I'll give Ed Wood another try. Maybe I won't dislike it quite as much. Maybe I will.

In the meantime, keep that hate mail coming, as long as it makes you feel better about yourself, okay?

Lenny from the MRFH Accounting Department The itsy bitsy spider, went up the water spout... Her contribution to the Goodwill was instant, if somewhat inappropriate.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• In a scene with Wood and Dolores, the camera angle showing the ceiling is similar to a scene in Citizen Kane
• Wood's line, "They're driving me CRAZY! These Baptists are stupid. Stupid. STUPID!" is modeled on a line from Wood's film Plan 9 from Outer Space, in which Eros says "Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!"

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

No.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

This film cost more to produce than all of Ed Wood's films put together.

Groovy Quotes

Vampira: You're watching our Halloween movie, "White Zombie", starring Bela Lugosi, John Harron, Madge Bellamy, and a bunch of other people I've never heard of.
Georgie Weiss: you must have me confused with David Selznick. I don't make major motion pictures; I make crap.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes, but if you take that crap and put a star in it, then you've got something.
Georgie Weiss: Yeah. Crap with a star.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I met Bela Lugosi.
Dolores Fuller: Why, I thought he was dead.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, he's very much alive. Well, sort of.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I like to dress in women's clothing.
Georgie Weiss: You're a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, not at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel closer to them.
Georgie Weiss: You're not a fruit?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, I'm all man. I even fought in WWII. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under my uniform.

Bela Lugosi: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. You are wasting my time!

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Do you know that I've even had producers re-cut my movies?
Orson Welles: I hate when that happens.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: And they always want to cast their buddies. It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part.
Orson Welles: Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a thriller for Universal. They want Charlton Heston as a Mexican.

Soundtrack Review

This is the first film by Tim Burton to not feature Danny Elfman's music score. Huh.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Plan 9 From Outer Space
• Big Fish
• Glen or Glenda