New Year Resolutions 2004

The new year brings a host of promise with it, as well as crushing depression as we realize that we're in for several more months of winter and the nearest major holiday causes thousands of singleton suicides. Thus, we need something to live for. But what?

Hey, get your own plan, no fair sneaking a peek at ours!

Ahem. I've just been informed by a very "mellow" PoolMan that we shouldn't be so harsh, and so I'll let you in on a little secret. For the first time ever, the staff of Mutant Reviewers From Hell is going to make movie-related New Year Resolutions in order to help us keep our collective sanity (Alex is this close to full-fledged cannibalism, and owns many copies of "How To Serve Man") and probably entertain the pants off of you. That's what Kyle's resolution originally was -- the "pants off of you" part, until we told him that not only did that have very little to do with movies, but the President had already signed a bill into law forbidding Kyle to spawn in any fashion.

So the plan is to firstly announce each of our resolutions, and then, as the year progresses, to fulfill them and report back on this page how it went. A brave new experiment for snow-bound loonies.

The Resolutions

Justin's Resolution: In 2004 I will read and review 10 of those horribly slapdash "novelizations" of movies (not the books that were made into films).

Rich's Resolution: My resolution will be that, once per month, I will select a member of our forums at random and let them choose a film for me to review that month. As long as it's not Brazil.

Lissa's Resolution: In the interests of branching out, I resolve to watch at least 10 (and preferably more) movies featuring (real) musicians turned actors. The list of musicians we came up with includes: Sting, Phil Collins, David Bowie, Jon Bon Jovi, Ice Cube, Meat Loaf, Barbara Streisand, Queen Latifah, Will Smith, Cher, Ashley Judd, Kenny Rogers, Iced-T, Eminem, and Madonna. (Most of them make movies that are not in my normal genres, but that I might actually enjoy if I watched them. And they can't be movies I've seen in the past decade.)

Clare's Resolution: I resolve to write a review for every movie John Cusack has ever appeared in. I've seen them all save maybe 2, so I figure it's do-able.

PoolMan's Resolution: I'll grant the reviewing wish of the first 6 non-staffers (regular readers) to reach 666 posts by June 6th. No bumps. No meaningless posts. Short gags okay (especially at Justin's expense).

Kyle's Resolution: I resolve to have all 20 James Bond films reviewed in successfully unique fashion by the end of 2004! Yee Haw!

Alex's Resolution: Forthcoming

Coming Soon In 2004!