Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"The kids today don't have the patience for vampires. They want to see some mad slasher running around and chopping off heads."

1985 R / Horror Comedy Directed by: Tom Holland Starring: Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Roddy McDowall

Tagline

If you love being scared, it'll be the night of your life.

Summary Capsule

Hey honey? Yeah, the new next door neighbors are vampires. Should we bring them a blood basket?

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Amazon.com: DVD

Justin's Rating: Well. This certainly does suck.
Justin's Review: Here's the thing: out of the three classic horror movie monsters — zombies, vampires and werewolves (we'll leave mummies alone for now) — vampires are by far the least interesting.  Maybe just to me, but still I've never been entertained by a vampire movie, never been scared by any onscreen portrayal of a bloodsucker, and after the rise and fall of my love affair with the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show, I can't even make the mental leap to take vamps as anything but a running joke.  And this is probably why Fright Night stood little to no chance of reversing my policy on Mayor McFangy and his Blood Crew.

"Why the heck would you honestly want to be a creature who has to drink blood for the rest of your life?  You ever tasted blood?"

Shades of An American Werewolf in London and The Lost Boys, Fright Night gets a failing grade in Home Ec for messing up the horror-comedy blend.  A good horror-comedy (Evil Dead 2 as Exhibit A) should be both scary and funny.  A decent horror-comedy will show lopsided favoritism to just one of those aspects and give the other side passing lip service.  But when you don't succeed in making either of those work in the least... man, it's a pitiful two hours of "coulda, woulda, shoulda's".

Fright Night does have a name for itself in the 80's vampire legacy. I'm not sure why.  Maybe a massive yet lame conspiracy is to blame. Running through it, it's a fairly standard teen horror flick that easily could've used any number of other threats than vampires as its antagonists.  Charley (William Ragsdale) is the prototypical teen ("prototypical" is a bigger word than "typical", so I went with that there) who becomes the Only Person To Spot The Real Threat, and therefore must make a complete fool out of himself trying to convince friends and authorities before It's Too Late.  What tanks my interest in Charley as a character is that in the opening scene, his girlfriend is on the bed, ready for sex for the first time, and Charley is more interested in watching guys carry a coffin into the house next door.  Um.  Hm.

Maybe there's a huge homosexual subtext going on in this movie — there's certainly enough evidence to suggest it.  There's even a guy who gets turned into a vampire by another guy in a pretty suggestive manner, and it's not too big of a leap to make the transformation into a metaphor for changing one's sexuality.  However, since this is most certainly not a freshman college term paper, I shall give such things a rest.

It also probably doesn't help that Chris Sarandon is the big head vampire.  He lost his ability to be taken as a threatening character after nailing what a sissy Prince Humperdinck was in The Princess Bride two years later.

So, there you have it.  Another middle-of-the-road horror flick with nothing spectacular to either recommend it to you or warn you away. And to all you vampire wanna-be's out there, I gotta ask: why the heck would you honestly want to be a creature who has to drink blood for the rest of your life?  You ever tasted blood?  It's not cherry kool-aid, my friend.  Gross.

Evil Ed! Dorky Guy! The true face of vampire horror: a Yuppie. This was NOT on her online dating profile.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Give up sex for coffin watching? Right…
• What a responsible mom, offering her son a Valium
• The character Peter Vincent is drawn from two horror movie actors: Peter Cushing, and Vincent Price.
• This film contains a puppet that was scrapped from another Columbia Pictures film, GhostBusters

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

Only if you're a creature of the night and boring credits.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Chris Sarandon spent as much as eight hours getting the vampire makeup applied to his face. It took twelve hours to put Stephen Geoffreys into the wolf makeup, which he ended up having to do twice.

Groovy Quotes

Jerry: Welcome to Fright Night! For real.

Evil Ed: He got me, Charley! He bit me! You know what you're gonna have to do now, don't you? Kill me. Kill me, Charley... before I turn into a vampire, and... GIVE YOU A HICKEY!

Peter Vincent: The kids today don't have the patience for vampires. They want to see some mad slasher running around and chopping off heads.

Jerry: Hello, Edward. You don't have to be afraid of me. I know what it's like being different. Only they won't pick on you anymore... or beat you up. I'll see to that. All you have to do is take my hand.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Buffy the Vampire Slayer
• The Lost Boys
• Interview With The Vampire