Summary Capsule
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Topper returns to bring a little one-man justice to the middle east
Summary Capsule
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Hot Shots! Part Deux continues a long-standing tradition of annoying me by putting excitable punctuation in the middle of sentences, and also taking holy and sacred subjects and treating them Marx Bros. style. These subjects of which I speak about, of course, are the honorable "war flick" and "action-fest". Perhaps the sacrifices that Stallone and Schwartzenegger fought and died and rose again for one last blow for don't deserve such shabby treatment, but we do need the hallowed grounds of movie wisdom to keep the world in proper perspective. Yes indeed, whether you just generally dislike Saddam Hussein or want to see a guy beat up with gummi bears (PoolMan, this is you), there's no reason not to embrace HS!PD as part of your daily intake of chuckles. Charlie Sheen, once again convincing me that his future lies in comedy and not anything remotely serious, returns as the ultra-macho Topper Harley. Despite being a Navy pilot in the first film, Harley is called back into service as a gung-ho (what's a gung, and what's it hoing for?) one-man army, sent to rescue the guys who went in to rescue the guys who got caught in Iraq. HS!PD takes its slices of pie from a wide range of popular movies, most notably Rambo and Commando, but not forsaking the "what does this have to do with war-action?" titles like Lady and the Tramp and Basic Instinct. Perhaps its most shining moment came when Topper's on a boat doing an inner-voice monologue a la Apocalypse Now, and suddenly Martin Sheen is on a boat going the opposite way actually doing the original lines from Apocalypse Now. More celeb cameos could learn a thing or two from this. I've always been very partial to the second Hot Shots!, mostly because I saw it like four times in the theater and still haven't run out of little details to notice and laugh about. A pretty decent supporting cast backs up Sheen as well, including Lloyd Bridges as the patchwork President, Ryan Stiles (Drew Carey Show) as a guy who really likes to blow things up, and the ever-terrific Miguel Ferrer as a man who rediscovers his love of movie slaughter. And hey, this is probably the only film where you'll actually get a body count counter on the screen as the carnage proceeds. Hot Shots! Part Deux was also the end of a great era of parody flicks, hailing back to the era of Airplane! While parts of Jane Austin's Mafia and BASEketball occasionally rose to the occasion, we've degenerated into slip-shod crap fests like Scary Movie. Let us hope and pray that we see a rebirth of the intelligent dumb humor movie, and soon! |
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[proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep] |
Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?
Oh yes indeedy. There's a ton of jokes in the end credits. And at the very end of the credits, a soundclip from the film is played in reverse. It says, "His boat has been demolished."
Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]
Charlie Sheen remarks before a particularly energetic fight sequence, "I learned this one from Paula Abdul." Paula Abdul was married to Charlie Sheen's brother, Emilio Estevez, at the time of the film's release.
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Topper: We all have permission to make mistakes... it's called "learning"!
Iraqi: Off to prison, American Satans!
Michelle: We want you to go in Topper.
Topper: Why me?
Michelle: Because you're the best of what's left.
Topper: Do you have any idea what the critics will say? "Same warmed-over characters..."
Harbinger: I can kill again! You've given me a reason to live.
Harbinger: War... it's fantastic!
Saddam Hussein: Now I will kill you until you die from it!
Ramada: I had to come. It was a sequel.
Tug Benson: [to the Japanese] It seems only yesterday that I was strafing so many of your houses. Today I'm asking you not to make such damn good cars.
Topper: These men have a supreme vow of celibacy, like their fathers, and their fathers before them...
Bad Guy: I can see you're no stranger to pain.
Col. Denton Walters: I've been married.
Bad Guy: Ah.
Col. Denton Walters: *Twice*.
Bad guys: Oy!
Benson: We'll do this the old navy way. First one to die... loses!
Topper: I want to see your parents and pat your dog...
Romana: My parents are dead Topper, my dog ate them.
Topper: Colonel, who are they?
Col. Denton Walters: She's CIA. The other man's an extra.
Col. Denton Walters: We must get the men who went to get the men who went to get the men.
News Reporter: President Benson, where's your first lady?
Benson: I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15. I can't keep track.
Topper: Of all the missions in all the jungles you had to walk into this one.
Topper: You're joking.
Ramada: I'm not.
Topper: You've got to be.
Ramada: If I was joking I would say: "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"
Ramada: Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. I so admired his persistence. Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent. He opened my eyes to the arts: music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. His work has meant so much to so many. And I owe him everything, Topper. Everything.
Topper: I'm happy for you, kid. But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. I left my heart in my other pants.
Topper: Ramada, I do love you. I've tried to forget you but no matter what, your face is on the tip of my tongue.
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Justin's Rating: Fly, chicken, fly!