Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"Love is a leap. Lamentably, I was never inspired to jump."

2001 PG-13 / Romance Comedy Directed by: James Mangold Starring: Meg Ryan, Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber

Tagline

If they lived in the same century they'd be perfect for each other.

Summary Capsule

Guy from the past travels to the present, and gets sucked into the Meg Ryan Romantic Black Hole

Mutant Meter

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Justin's Rating: I think Meg Ryan has finally hit the ceiling of her ability to play a cute & young romantic lead. That's kinda sad.
Justin's Review: I think there's an inherent frustration that males develop toward romance flicks, and it often manifests itself with smack talk, put downs and police actions in southern Asia. It's simply this: we hate, hate being compared to point-perfect men onscreen. Girls, many of you loathe boobs-and-butts films for the same reason - we all get defensive when we're being compared to what the other gender supposedly finds "perfection". Movies make a selling point out of showing us what we can't have, as a fantasy to indulge in, and then we go home with our imperfect significant others and have a hard time making it through the night without a visit from Mr. Valium Overdose.

"We all get defensive when we're being compared to what the other gender supposedly finds 'perfection'."

Okay, okay. That's a little harsh. I'm just saying, I don't think guys are necessarily against romance in movies, or even films that revolve around love and Care Bears and fruit baskets in the morning. We just don't want to feel like a defective assembly line product that's been kicked around for two hours by a stud with whom we can have no chance of ever competing. You know the type: body, perfect; well-to-do; impeccable manners; able to take large swaths of time off work for day-long dates that involve carriage rides through Central Park; always knowing the right words to say; writes poetry; beats up a purse-snatcher at some point; makes love all night but only to satisfy her needs; and perhaps plays an ode to her on a lute.

We just… we just can't compete. Pack it in, boys: we're just nerdy, geeky, lumpy folk who often need several clues punctuated by baseball bat blows to get the point from women.

Of course there's a double standard going the other way, but my ultimate point is saying that for a romance movie to work for everyone, both genders need someone they can really identify with, not feel like a distant tenth place in comparison.

Kate & Leopold is near-shameless in making any males viewing it feel so completely inept as to consider a quick leap off the nearest bridge. Which is, incidentally, how time travel works in this film, but that's just common sense. This movie is in my wife's top ten most repeated titles, probably because it plays out like an ideal romance novel put to screen. If you've avoided that particular literary genre, then one of the crucial things to know is that romance novels postulate that while there aren't any good men available right here and now, there are just loads out west, in Europe, and back in different time periods. And they all want to have babies, right away. Man apparently reached his romantic zenith around 1875, and has been in a steady decline ever since.

See? Women reading this are just nodding as if it's common knowledge.

I got a little hoodwinked into seeing this because it does involve a smidge of time travel, and that feeds the geek in me. The scifi elements are quite minimal, and Leopold's (Hugh Jackman) transition from the 19th century to the early 21st is so smooth as to render a baby's bottom rough and scaly in comparison.

Leopold is accidentally sucked into modern times from 1870 by Kate's (Meg Ryan) ex-boyfriend. His fancy-pancy nature is hilariously out of place - or so the scriptwriters would hope - but his "old fashioned" sense of honor, decorum and tact are heads and shoulders above the current male population. He's a dreamy hunk from the past, and he now has access to deodorant. Shibby.

It's slightly-crazy Kate who has a problem seeing it, career-driven and two-dimensional that she is. While it normally would take about two drinks and a "check please!", Leopold endures his courtship of Lady McNutty for almost a week before she capitulates and falls into a deep swoon by the lifestyle of a time before Starbucks. The romance is actually a weak link in the film, mostly because Leopold is the key character and Kate an emotionally-void woman who's on autopilot from Meg Ryan's many other romanticides.

But honestly? As much as Leopold is the epitome of everything I find disturbing about romance, he's also a pretty cool guy. That's how Hugh Jackman rolls. He walks a fine line between being superior in just about every way other than techno-savvy and being a genuinely nice guy from a slower time whom you'd like to get to know. Inferiority aside, Leopold is food for thought about how much we have lost in the art of courtship and love, and how little some of us really work to make relationships and romance right. There's nothing wrong with a higher standard, as long as it isn't an impossible one.

I therefore pardon this film. It's harmless enough for most guys to wade through it, holding the shoulders of their dates as they try to make a dash for the television to marry the images and have their image babies. And it's guilty pleasure bites for all the womenfolk who need a break from catcalls and cheesy pick-up lines.

"That... that man is pooping on the top of that skyscraper!" Leather and lace. Just not how you think. Here, Meg Ryan has had her hair replaced with experimental egg noodles.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Of COURSE there's a horseback riding scene in a romantic comedy. Doesn't matter that it's in NYC.
• When Leopold is chasing Stuart down the stairs and out of his house, Stuart seems to jump a few metres in a second. In the Director's Cut version, the two guys actually bump into Kate there.
• Several of the film's actual crew members appear in the crew of the margarine commercial.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

No.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Hugh Jackman took etiquette lessons from 19-century etiquette expert Jane Gibson (who trained actors for such projects as Sense and Sensibility). He also studied ballroom dancing and trained to ride a horse for the film.

Groovy Quotes

Leopold: Are you suggesting madam that there exists a law compelling a gentleman to lay hold of canine bowel movements?
Police Officer: I'm suggesting that you pick the poop up.

Charlie: We have a saying in the McKay house: "You shake and shake the ketchup bottle, none will come, and then a lot'll."

Kate: Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buying magazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watching movies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.

Stuart: Theoretically, if you go to the past in the future, then your future lies in the past. This is a picture of you in the future - in the past.

Kate: Why are you standing?
Leopold: I am accustomed to stand when a lady leaves the table.

Leopold: I warn you scoundrel, I was trained at the King's Academy and schooled in weaponry by the palace guard. You stand no chance. When you run, I shall ride, when you stop, the steel of this strap shall be lodged in your brain.

Kate: I'm not the protagonist in a major motion picture.

Leopold: Some feel that to court a woman in one's employ is nothing more than a serpentine effort to transform a lady into a whore.

Roebling: Behold, rising before you, the greatest erection on the continent... the greatest erection of the age... the greatest erection on the planet!

Leopold: We are not courting, Kate. If we were, as a man of honour, I would have informed you of my intentions in writing.

Leopold: Love is a leap. Lamentably, I was never inspired to jump.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Sleepless in Seattle
• You've Got Mail
• Back to the Future