Summary Capsule
Man doesn't stop to ask for directions, ends up halfway across the universe
Justin's Rating: Sure, the MRFH staff was Lost In Detroit one weekend, but you didn't see Hollywood make a movie out of it
Justin's Review: Outer space is not the highly selective Club 54 it used to be. Back in the day, you would have to be a highly trained astronaut or a male nymphomaniac with a speech impediment to even make it out there. But lately, sigh... lately, they let anyone go up. Case in point, Lost In Space, which is a badly fumbled fable about your nuclear family in a souped-up SUV trekking across space and quite frankly, leaving a big mess wherever they go.
I never watched the original Lost In Space TV series. I have heard that my life is not missing much by having done so. Thus, I never understood why this type of show became so popular, particularly with a robot whose functions were the same as Lassie's, just more incompetent. Ten, perhaps thirty years later, Lost In Space inspired idea-broke filmmakers to take a hack at the idea (plus, over at Paramount, Star Trek Voyager took the same idea to the small screen, only without the robot).
As a movie, Lost In Space is a hyperactive ADD kid who keeps starting all manner of games and projects and chores, but never finishes a-one of them. They got so concerned with updating the image, with making a considerably uncool sci-fi franchise hip again, that the story doesn't just take the backseat, it gets out of the car and hitchhikes to a sci-fi flick with an actual premise. The look and technology of LIS is pretty and slightly original, but it still ends up looking like what the world would be if iMacs took over.
So the entire family packs up and heads toward the nearest interstellar 7-11. There's cold Dad (William Hurt), worried Mom (Mimi Rogers), stuck-up Judy (Heather Graham), alienated Penny (Lacey Chabert) and overachiever Will Robinson (Jack Johnson). Also along for the ride is pilot Major West (Matt LeBlanc), evil mad scientist Dr. Smith (Gary Oldman), and a big-ass robot, who you know is just going to go crazy and try and kill everyone. They always do. This cast of characters will most likely elicit strong responses -- both positive and negative -- by all viewers. Kym, for instance, has always harbored a passionate, homicidal hatred for Mimi Rogers, ever since she tried to steal Mulder's heart in the X-Files. Although most of the world seems to spit at Gary Oldman, I've pretty much always enjoyed anything he was in. I enjoy his wry remarks here, unapologetically self-centered and thereby much more likable than the gooey antics of this dysfunctional family unit.
But we must discuss William Hurt. Maybe he has a good excuse for his acting, such as being possessed by the spirit of Kevin Costner, but I have rarely seen a more deaden performance. It's like he has a brain parasite that's controlling him, or perhaps Al Gore. Heck, the ROBOT has more of a personality than him. Hurt goes through the movie being the mentally distracted dad, but anytime he has to say something important, something with a sliver of emotion, his beard twitches. But his voice is the exact same dead monotone.
Don't even try to understand the convoluted plot, which takes us through three or four episodes' worth of nonsense, going from Bugs In Space to time travel. Time travel is something that must be henceforth forbidden by law to discuss in a film, because I've never seen a movie where they're able to make sense by including this as a plot device. Like killer robots, it always ends badly. And don't even get me started on how having Friends' Joey and a monkey in the same movie is complete redundancy.
There are two semi-cool things about this film that I feel obliged to point out, thus completing my plea bargain with Fanboys Anonymous. Although grossly underused, Penny is a terrific role, sarcastic and the source of the only non-artificial funny lines. I really dug the scene where she rappeled down the ship, upside-down, supported by some sort of zip line. In a few years Lacey Chabert is going to be a devastating beauty, and we only hope she holds on to some of this acting talent. The other cool thing is, surprisingly, not the monkey. No, I just enjoyed the fighter design of the good guys' ships at the beginning of the film. They kinda reminded me of the B-wing fighters from Star Wars, and that's all right with me.
Like many overblown, overhyped, overproduced "remakes", Lost In Space is scrambling everywhere and only appeases the opening weekend crowd. You know, those easily-led fools who ooh and ahh at the expensive CGI and walk out of a plot-deprived film going, "Well, that was certainly a good film. If I stick more Q-tips up my nose, maybe I'll end up liking Battlefield Earth!" After a couple of years, all LIS is left with a handful of shiny toys and a lot of busted hopes.
 1998 Rated PG-13 SciFi Action Adventure Director
Starring
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Targeting crosshairs in Matt's pupils
Penny Vision
At one point in the movie, Gary Oldman is told, "You *are* a monster." His characters have been told similar things in The Fifth Element and Air Force One.
The Jupiter 1 (the booster stage for the Jupiter 2 craft) bears a strong resemblance to the craft in the original TV series.
First segment of end credits intermixed with quick-flashed images from the movie, accompanied by Apollo 440's electronica version of John Williams' third season "Lost in Space" TV theme.
Holographic interface: I need one of these for my PlayStation
Apparently, Matt LeBlanc couldn't come in for filming during the spaceship spider shootout, which is why he activates the metal helmet (allowing another actor to step in for his role)
Daffy Duck as a signal flare
The Movie Store!
Lost In Space: Movie [VHS]
Lost In Space: Movie [DVD]
Lost In Space: Soundtrack [CD]
Intermission!
Cameo appearances by the original cast of "Lost in Space": Goddard, Mark, the original Major Don West, plays the General; June Lockhart, the original Maureen Robinson, plays Will Robinson's principal; Marta Kristen and Angela Cartwright, the original Robinson girls, play reporters.
Originally, all surviving cast members of the TV show were meant to have cameo appearances. Ironically, Bill Mumy and Jonathan Harris, the two actors most supportive of the idea of a new movie (as well as the two most popular characters on the show), did not appear in it. Harris was to have played the man who hired, then betrayed Dr. Smith. Mumy, who would have played the adult Will Robinson, was unable to appear due to contractual obligations elsewhere.
Dick Tufeld reprises his role from the TV series as the voice of the Robot.
Official and Not-So-Official Websites
Lost In Space Movie FAQ Page
 Lost in Space ran for three seasons, from 1965 to 1968. It was then cancelled by CBS, and like Star Trek, picked up a following through syndication. An ill-fated animated series made an attempt at revival in 1973. Funny note: in the show, the Jupiter 2 and its crew takes off in the "far off future" of October 16, 1997 (the movie version being released in actual 1998). |
Judy: Who was it who said, those who can't think, fight. Oh yeah, me.
Dr. Smith: Evil knows evil.
Major West: You know, I'm thinking this is your "kiss for luck" situation.
Judy: Thinking. Not your strong point, is it?
Major West: 8 years of flight training. Navigational holographics online. 50 combat missions. Course confirmed for slingshot exit of the solar system. Just so I could take the family camper on an interstellar picnic.
Penny: Ouch. Could he be cuter? I don't *think* so.
Will: Breathe, Penny.
Robot: Why did the robot cross the road? Because he was carbon bonded to the chicken!
Robot: It sounds like old morse code.
Will: What does it say?
Robot: Danger, Will Robinson, danger.
Dr. Smith: Like the drip, drip, drip of blood...
Major West: You really need to shut up.
Major West: And the monkey flips the switch.
John Robinson: There's a lot of space out there to get lost in.
DVD Review
Why I own this DVD is due to the fact that a new DVD player owner in 1998 had extremely few selections to choose from, and only New Line was making fully stacked Platinum Editions with tons of extras. So while the movie itself is extremely questionable, the LIS DVD is one mother of a package. Music videos, two commentary tracks, a game (I think), and lots of info for those bored enough to read off of their TV screen. Also, animated menus.
Soundtrack Review
The LIS theme remake, a techno version, is quite listenable for about two minutes, but not much longer after that.
If you liked this movie, try these:
The Fifth Element
Dark City
Event Horizon
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