This is really embarrassing to admit, but one of my secret fantasies is winning American Idol.

It would never, ever happen, of course. Aside from the minor fact I'm too old, let's face it - my voice is neither pleasant nor tuneful, and I'm smart enough to know that. You'd never catch ME going anywhere near those auditions, let me tell you. But I have to admit, I always wished I could sing, and be famous for it. Even more than American Idol, I would love to be in a musical.

Again, it will never happen, except as a chorus member if our church musical was really desperate. My voice really is that bad, and besides, I'm better off painting sets because my art is actually good. But ever since I was little, I've wished I could do it. And ever since I was little, I've loved musicals.

A few years ago, I did an article detailing my top ten favorite musical moments in the movies. I had a lot of fun with that, but ten is a very small number. And recently, I've been on a musical kick again. Obviously, I'm not getting out to Broadway much, so thank God for musical movies, right? And yeah, it's a cheap excuse to talk about songs I love.

The Classics

There was definitely a golden age of musicals, and Rogers and Hammerstein ruled supreme. I watched a lot of these musicals when I was younger, since they were all movies my mom and I could agree on. This was the age of plays where people stop to sing songs and everyone joins in and dances and acts like it's totally normal. (For the most part.) And I love it.

"Edelweiss" from The Sound of Music. Sure, there are more famous songs from The Sound of Music. There are more elaborate or vocally impressive songs. But the tenderness and emotion Christopher Plummer exhibits singing "Edelweiss", and the simple, gentle melody make this the song that's stayed with me for years.

"Gee, Officer Krupke" from West Side Story. I always enjoy the funny sidekick song in a musical, and there usually is one. (My other favorite is "Momma Says" from Footloose.) "Gee, Officer Krupke" again isn't the finest example of poetry and all, but it's still awfully funny, especially since each of us have a twelve-year-old in us, and it's a great spoof of people who justify all their actions with their rotten childhoods. It's certainly (intentionally) funnier than "Greased Lightning".

"Shall We Dance?" from The King and I. Classic, classic, classic, and Yul Brenner was the man. The King is one of my favorite characters from musicals (and Yul Brenner was one of the few people permitted to play him), and the site of him and Anna dancing around with her in that big gorgeous dress… it makes the dreamy little girl in me swoon.

"Get Me to the Church on Time" from My Fair Lady. Like I said, I like funny. My Fair Lady sticks out to me more as a story than for the music, but this song is catchy and funny. Plus, when Duckie and I got married my sister gave me a bear that sang this, which always cracked me up.

"If I Only Had a Brain/Heart/the Nerve" from The Wizard of Oz. Question - in "The Rainbow Connection", Kermit asks, "Why are there so many songs about rainbows/And what's on the other side?" How many other songs ARE there about what's on the other side of the rainbow besides "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"? Anyway, yeah, that song might be the most famous. But a.) it's way out of my range, b.) it's boring, and c.) I've heard it too many times on American Idol and by other lousy singers. It's not one of my favorites. But I do love the Scarecrow, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion lamenting what they don't have.

Contemporary

I read someplace that Cabaret was the last movie that destroyed film musicals (or maybe it was A Chorus Line). Either way, the 80s and 90s had a strong lack of musicals in any way, shape, or form. But thanks to Moulin Rouge!, the musical has once again been hitting the screen. Baz, I love you. Thank you thank you thank you, from those of us who can't afford to constantly go out to the live theater. (Plus, you can watch a movie musical at home.)

Of course, musicals these days have changed drastically. Oh, not in subject matter - musicals have always been about some very heavy subjects. (Oklahoma had an attempted rape, for example. West Side Story is about urban gang warfare. And Jesus Christ Superstar deemed crucifixion an appropriate matter for song and dance.) However, the music has become more rock and roll, and the amount of it is generally increasing. Plus, it seems like more of the movie musicals allow for interesting ways to account for the fact that the characters randomly burst into song. But there is a very different feel about musicals made today, even if I can't quite articulate it.

"I'll Cover You (Reprise)/Seasons of Love" from Rent. It feels a bit odd to mention a reprise as a favorite song, but this scene is just so packed with emotion (and Jesse L. Martin's voice is so gorgeous) that I decided this was my pick for this movie, although there are a lot of other close ones.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" from Phantom of the Opera. Truth: I wasn't that impressed with the film version of Phantom. Don't get me wrong - I liked it okay. But I think I like Gerald Butler screaming "THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!!!" more than I like him singing. I don't know. I played my soundtrack with Michael Crawford singing the Phantom into the ground, and I think it's hard to hear anyone else do it and not compare. And I've never liked Christine - I consider her a spineless whiny wimp who ought to join most of the Disney Princesses in letting Mulan kick their butts. But ever since I heard it in high school, a few months after my dad's death, "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" has resonated deeply with me, and I did like this version, especially the visuals.

"Razzle Dazzle" from Chicago. Wow. Who would have ever thought I'd be naming Richard Gere in a singing role? But Razzle Dazzle is just a great number in a movie of excellent songs, and I have to admit Richard Gere played the smarminess out of it. (Seriously, he and Hugh Grant should get together and do something about nice guys turned smarmy, because they both do it wonderfully.) Plus, I think lots of grad students who have had to defend a thesis can relate very well to this one.

"Like A Virgin" from Moulin Rouge! Every time I watch this number, I can't help but giggle. How can you not? But the best time ever was when the Graduate Student Association at Penn State showed it. When the GSA has movie nights, they're free, so a lot of grad students go. Plus, because they're grad students, a lot of the people in the audience tend to not be American born and bred (in this case, that means "completely and immediately fluent in the works of Madonna"). As they started reciting the lyrics, you could hear people catching on at different points… and the groans and the "you're kidding me!"s. It was hysterical. Or maybe you just had to be there.

"Blame Canada" from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. Actually, I really like the "La Resistance" medley, but I used that one in my other article. Not only was "Blame Canada" a masterpiece of political satire and social commentary, but it led to one of the most amusing Best Song performances at the Oscars ever, when Robin Williams marched out with duct tape over his mouth.

For The Kids

Let's face it, when you think movie musicals, you HAVE to think Disney. It's like subliminal messages or Microsoft juggernaut marketing or something like that. Kids movies do rely heavily on music, and after watching Ducklet get glued to the screen whenever a song comes on, I can understand why. That said, I tried to avoid making this list all Disney. It wasn't hard.

"Rainbow Connection" from The Muppet Movie. I remember a friend telling us about how they showed this at college, and everyone, no matter what social set or where they were from, joined in singing that opening song. Rainbow Connection is deeply enmeshed in many of our childhoods, as it should be. It's a great song, and I hope it's remembered forever. (I'll never forget it, given that I've been asked to sing it twice a day for the past freaking YEAR.)

"Hope That Something Better Comes Along" also from The Muppet Movie. Yeah, it's the same movie, but come on. Rainbow Connection is an iconic song of innocence and youth. "Hope that Something Better Comes Along" is the best and most accurate cynical dating song ever. "Still, it's fun when they're fetching/And agree to see an etching/That you keep at your lily pad"…. Subtle, guys. Real subtle. I love it.

"I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan. I did use this on my other list, but I still love it. Perhaps I should be ashamed, since it's Donny Osmand singing, and there are probably even better songs from Disney (a lot of The Lion King, for example, or the Jungle Book soundtrack). But I love the girl-power of Mulan, and yes… I'm a sucker for training montages.

"Plagues" from The Prince of Egypt. I haven't watched The Prince of Egypt in ages, because we only have it on VHS and not DVD. But it's one of the best animated movies I've ever seen, and my favorite Biblical adaptation. I'm honestly not sure how accurate it really is, but I really like the humanity that they imbue the two main characters with. The music is decent, but I always found "Plagues" particularly moving because it's the climax of the brothers' story line. Plus, the remorse and guilt that Moses shows… it's incredibly poignant. Hmm. I really need to watch this again and review it.

"Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah" from Song of the South. Heh - let's hear it for the most racist movie Disney ever made! Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah is one of those songs like "Mmm Bop", where it might not be complex or "musical genius", but it sure sticks in your head. Plus, my grandfather used to make up stories about Brer Rabbit, Brer Bear, and the rest of them and tell them to us, so I've got an emotional connection thing going on here.

Music From Cult Flicks

Well, we are a cult site, so let's talk cult flicks specifically. Sure, most of them aren't musical (although I'd pay good money to see "Army of Darkness: The Musical!" Is anyone else envisioning dancing corpses and Bruce Campell singing in the center of the stage as he wields his chainsaw?), but like I said - cult movies, cult site. Kinda can't ignore it.

"Storybook Love" from The Princess Bride. Yeah, so this is actually the song that plays over the end credits, but I really love this song. It's beautiful and fairy-tale-ish and gorgeous and… ::Sigh:: All the music from The Princess Bride is really nice, actually. In one of the best weddings I ever went to, the bride walked down the aisle to the love theme from the movie being played on the harp.

"Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from The Life of Brian. Well, you don't get much more cult than Monty Python, right? My favorite movie is by far the ever-class Holy Grail, but that one isn't so much a musical, really. I like a lot of the songs from The Meaning of Life, but the whole exploding man/vomit thing really put me off. However, "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life", done on crucifixes, never fails to make me smile. It really is a chipper pick-me-up sort of song.

"Attack Of The Radioactive Hamsters From A Planet Near Mars" from UHF. Because you can't talk about cult music without mentioning Weird Al, and how can any song title in the world top this one?

"Hot Patootie" from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Okay, so I hate Rocky Horror Picture Show. I really do. Granted, a lot of my hatred of it comes from strong associations with an ex-boyfriend who eventually went on to play Brad in the floor show. (No, I don't know why I was dating him, either. Desperation, I think.) But even as I hate it, I have to admit that the music is freaking catchy. Plus, Meatloaf is a guilty pleasure of mine, which is why I picked a song that probably no one else would pick as their favorite.

"Men in Tights" from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. It was a mediocre film with some really amusing moments, but one of those great moments was the performance of "Men in Tights". Or, at least, I thought so.

Television

Yeah, we're all about movies, but we like our TV, too. Especially these days, when cult shows are available in series on DVD and it's freaking expensive to go to the theaters just to have someone put their feet on your seat and jaw away on their cell phone as they spill popcorn in your hair. Plus, some of my favorite cult shows have embraced the musical format, which is always fun.

"Standing" from "Once More With Feeling", Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Ever since we watched this episode, the songs are permanently stuck in my head. I suppose "Walk Through the Fire" is more representative, but I really like "Standing". For one, I've always adored Giles' and Buffy's father-daughter relationship (until Season 7 and Grumpy Buffy took over), and "Standing" is kind of that relationship's finale. And for two, Anthony Steward Head actually has a really nice voice.

"Guy Love" from "My Musical", Scrubs. Heh, like Buffy, Scrubs at least came up with a reason for why all of the main players were now singing. The cast of Buffy seems a little more musically talented, I must admit. (And, looking at the Wikipedia page, I see my comparison of the two was inevitable.) Unfortunately, Janitor does not get a full song, or I'm pretty sure it would be my favorite. (I love Janitor. Although the Coxian [and yes, that's the adjective version of his name] "The Rant" song is pretty fun, and I totally recognized the "Major-General's Song" influence, although you'd have to be pretty deaf not to.) Anyway, "Guy Love" cracked me up from beginning to end, and sums up JD and Turk so perfectly.

"The Hero of Canton" (The Man they Call Jayne) from "Jaynestown", Firefly. So, it's not a musical episode for a change, and let's face it, the song is nothing special out-of-context. But in the context of the show, it's the hysterical punchline to what's already been a gut-bustingly funny joke. Probably the funniest thing about this is watching the crews' faces as the Mudders sing the song.

"What's the Name of that Song?" from Sesame Street. Yeah, I should probably cite the Muppets over Sesame Street. The Muppets have some really clever songs - although many of them are not originals written specifically for the show, especially if they're being sung by the guest star. But trust me, no Muppet Song gets stuck in your head harder than "What's the Name of that Song?" from Sesame Street. Come on, you know it! "La de da de dum, la de da dum, what's the name of that song?"

"The Stonecutters Song" from The Simpsons. It was a tough call between this, the songs from "Supercalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious" and "See My Vest", but I really just get a kick out of the ending of the latter, for some reason. Anyway, who can deny the classic status of the Stonecutter's song, "We Do!"? Especially since they're the ones that made Steve Guttenberg a star?

Ones I've Yet To See

So, thus endeth my "I can't think of a brilliant, insightful article, so I'll just make a list!" contribution. Did I miss something? Of course! Heck, I still haven't seen Sweeney Todd (dying to, by the way!), High School Musical, Hairspray, The Producers…. There's a whole mess of them. Plus, I only chose to highlight 25 songs, and there are a ton more great songs out there. Now, if only they'd make the musical of Les Mis into a movie….