the MUTANT vol 4 issue 7
4-26-2001
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Has romance killed the comedy?  I think so.

Before we dive into today's topic, let me assure you that we are not
talking about *romantic* comedies (which both can and can not be chick
flicks).  Romance comedies being, movies revolving around the romance of
(usually) two main characters, sometimes actually containing comedic
elements.  Whoa-hoa!  Love is funny!  No, when I mention comedies here,
I'm just talking about everything else: your run-of-the-mill mistaken
identity film, your wacky college escapades flick, your "I'm trying to be
as witty as Airplane! but failing miserably" movie.

I'll admit it; after I hit the Carrot Top section of the video store, I'm
always salvaging the comedy rows.  I probably rent more comedies combined
than any other genre, mostly because I like to laugh and I like Carrot
Top.  No, not really, but I did rent his movie so that I could savagely
attack it (see my latest review).  And one thing that's always bugged me
about comedies is how no matter what the subject matter is, they always,
*always*, ALWAYS have to throw in a romance, no matter how unnecessary.
And I feel that this is ruining the comedy genre.

Unless it's a romantic comedy, romance in comedy films is rarely played up
for laughs.  They typically stick in some supporting bimbo (what's the
male version of bimbo?  Bimba?) who serves the following purposes:

1. She (he) shares some witty repartee with the main character, assuring
us how cool the main character is.

1b. Sometimes the dating interest does not like our character
(particularly if the hero is one of those annoying Adam Sandler
slob-types) and insults the main character repeatedly.  Do not worry, this
is foreplay.  Soon, she is won over by the fact she does not share top
billing.

2. There is a dating montage.  There is ALWAYS a dating montage.  If one
were to believe dating montages, then these characters would not be able
to hold down jobs, because they spend most of their time setting up
incredibly ridiculous dates.  Candlelight dinner on the rooftop of the
Empire State Building.  A boat ride to watch humpback whales mating.  A
tour of a Californian winery presses, complete with grape stomping.
Breaking into Wal-Mart in the middle of the night to play beach ball
volleyball over the aisle shelves.  Convincing U2 to make time during
their concert to help propose marriage.

3. The supporting bimbo/a gets together with the main character, assuring
us that there are no more laughs to get from this relationship.  It's
over, she's no longer cool.  You know the next time you see her (or him,
let's continue this sexist charade), she's gonna be ticked and shouting
something.  Without makeup.

4. Some sort of Stupid Misunderstanding occurs, causing a fight/breakup.
This spirals the film into "bummer" territory.  The question that leaps
into our mind is, if the love interest took all of three minutes to seduce
and obtain, what's the problem with dumping her and moving on?

5. At the climax of the movie, the main character manages to do something
so spectacular that she/he not only saves the day, but also wins back the
affections of the bimbo/a.  At this juncture, it must be utterly
IMPOSSIBLE to have a job, because they are spending most of their waking
hours coordinating the inhabitants of NYC to spell "I LOVE YOU SHARON" so
that it can be photographed from outer space and beamed via CNN to her
apartment where she is coincidentally watching TV at that moment.

6. The film cannot end until they kiss.  If the hero is simulateously
dealing with the cops, a few vicious bandits, crazed neighbors, the Random
House Clearing $1 Million Prize van, he will at least take two seconds to
give her a smooch before dropping her to conduct actual comedy.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Romance drags a comedy down!
It isn't a universal variant, but just play this game the next time you
watch a comedy with some sort of romantic subplot.  Ask yourself, if this
romance was taken out of the movie, would the film be any less funny?
Yeah, Happy Gilmore sure benifited by what's-her-name being there to
applaud Adam Sandler along.

I guess my main gripe is when romance is thrown in as an unnecessary
element.  Particularly when the main character hasn't exactly done
anything to deserve said romance other than star in the movie.  Who would
honestly date snarky David Spade (as funny as he is, in a nerdy way) or
Rodney Dangerfield?

Romance, sort of like comedy, is a complex and tricky thing to pull off
right.  Wanting to do something original with it can be risky, versus
doing the standard Hollywood formula, which is more stable yet dull.  But
I always appreciate a comedy that can have fun with a romance, like
mocking dating montages (The Naked Gun) or having the main character treat
dating with irrelevance (Austin Powers).  (also, a side note: Did you ever
notice how Ferris Bueller's romance stays the same from the start to the
end of the movie?)

This is my plea to Hollywood, to stop assuming that ALL comedies must
feature some sort of romance.  As Chasing Amy well proved, a romance can
tear good buddies apart and bring the mood down.  No matter how light the
comedy, any on-screen fight/breakup is a mood killer, and it's neigh near
impossible to rebuild the jocularity by the end credits.  

However, I do think it'd be funny if they had a movie where they cloned
Carrot Top and had him fall in love with himself.  Yes, funny.

Head Mutant Justin
mrfh.cjb.net