Feeling all warm and fuzzy first thing on a Tuesday morning is probably the most sincere inspiration to write. More so then watching a movie. More so then reading another's good review. So making that connection in my head says "Hey Nancy. Movies are like comfort food, except healthier and you can quote them." When was the last time you quoted chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream? Granted I've probably used lines from the back of a Ben and Jerry's pint in casual conversation...

"Hahaha yeah like that scene in Clerks."
"37!! Haha woo!"
"I also like Austin Powers! Oooh behaaaave!"
"Yeah! Haha! Also, we don't support bovine growth hormone!"

...but comfort food just doesn't have the unbelievable wit/philosophy that movie quotes have. And I've forgotten where I was going with this. Totally. Sorry guys. My original topic was that movies just make me feel nice. And I'm glad that I've been able to find some really out-there things that have put inspiration into my life and made me quite the happy camper. I'm glad I can be that girl who shoots for one new movie a week and talks about it for a week. I'm glad I can reference movies I've seen years ago and relate them to what's happening now.

"Ugh I got a D on my history report."
"DID AHNULD GIVE UP IN TRUE LIES?!?!"
".....no?"
"THEN CARRY ON, WAYWARD SON!"

However, my transition wasn't a simple one. I began really watching movies when I was about twelve. Also, when I was about twelve, I owned about twelve movies. Did it occur to me to go to my local Movie Gallery and rent it up? No. My mind said "I should probably just watch these same movies over and over and over again! That sounds like a good plan!". So I did. And I still to this day, remember almost every single line, bad pun, favorite part and overly in-depth character analysis that my twelve-year-old brain construed out of nowhere. I was a bored child. However, there was one movie (to be revealed at a later point in this article) that pulled me out of my slump of repetitive twelve films and brought me into a whole new world of fresh, weird and different movies that I didn't already know all the lines to. Yes, it was scary. My lips felt awkward not mouthing along to all the words. But in my head, I knew this choice of expanding my film horizons was the right one. (And I will admit, mutant reviewers had a big part in my film growth as well). Five years later, here I am! But I will always have a sincere fondness in my heart for those twelve movies that, on repeat, got better and better with each viewing.

They weren't cult-y, for the most part. You wouldn't THINK you would be able to find them on this site. (That sentence originally read 'you wouldn't find them on this site' but then I looked them up and a few of them have nice little review spots nestled within Army Of Darkness and Clerks, which is a true testament to the freedom of this site, and the fact that we are such liberated individuals that, hell, we CAN review Total Recall if we want to! All hell to the rules! Freedom within movie love!)

Anyway. Don't act like you don't have a list of movies that holds a special and weird place in your movie memory.

I know I do.

And here they are.

1. The Witches Of Eastwick

Starting with this beautiful little piece of cinematic awesomeness is very important. There are two films in this sequence that I can say "Wow! These are two wicked awesome movies! I was a wicked awesome twelve year old!". Keep in mind that at age twelve I had no idea what was cool and what was not, so if I, on my own terms, liked something very very cool... well, looking back, I am a little proud of that coolness in me.

BUT I DIGRESS!

Witches Of Eastwick was easy enough to watch on repeat because the characters were just so darn likeable! It moves a tiny bit slow at times (well slower than all the other twelve) but my mind couldn't comprehend the concept of well-paced film-making, so I didn't take it for anything. I just said "Huh. Jack Nicholson is evil a lot later than I expected, and huh, wow, there's still a lot of movie left for me to indulge in!". This movie definitely cemented my Jack Nicholson obsession, which later comes into play at my viewing of The Shining, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest and Easy Rider. Cher is amazing, I already had her in my heart for that scene in Moonstruck where she kicks trash happily cause she's in love! (I do that whenever I'm walking in Boston and I say "Look guys, I'm Cher post-just getting laid by Nic Cage!). So accepting her in this role wasn't tricky. Michelle is Catwoman, and Susan is very articulate and wise. Sometimes I view Susan Sarandon as a wise old woman with all the answers to the universe, and the only reason the rest of society doesn't view her in that fashion is she doesn't allow us to. And then I think 'Well Nancy, do you really think you are smart enough to see through to Susan Sarandons genius, even though she is cloaked in a metaphorical veil of not-anything special?'. I realize I'm not and I move on with my life. I should start printing my tangents in bold so they are easier to skip over. I love this movie.

2. Con Air I think this one is so funny. I always bring it up. If there is an awkward pause in any situation, with my friends, on a date, at a college interview, I always default to this conversation. "Hey. Did you know that I can pretty much recite the entire script of Con Air? Because I can". I think it's funny because I'm genuinely aware that it is sincere crap but I love it so!

And also it features Steve Buscemi. This film was my second exposure to my favorite actor, and I loved it. Sometimes I would watch the entire movie to just get to his really cool end line. "Does he feel lucky?" "Yes....yes he does!". In this, Steve is a genuinely good guy despite him being a murderous psycho, wicked creepy, and basically Hannibal Lecter. But he is undoubtedly somehow the friendliest fellow on the plane. Even Dave Chappelle gets sassy from time to time. Another thing I constantly reference like the movie nerd that I am — If anything falls from the sky, or if anyone mentions anything falling from the sky, it's like a button in my head. "LIKE DAVE CHAPPELLE IN CON AIR?!!?". Especially considering the cultural obsession around this guy nowadays, what funnier character could there be accelerating towards the Earth?

I know I've already written quite a bit on this film, but I have yet to mention the three faces that are on the cover, and those are three very important faces. Number one - Nic Cage. He's not a long hair guy. But he just loves his little girl, and the bunny lines crack me up to this day. Don't know what I'm talking about? Rent the movie! Number two- John Cusack. He's not an action star. He can't be. When he holds up a gun, all I see is a stereo, and I think "gaw. SAY ANYTHING!" Talking about him makes me want to rent High Fidelity. Number three - John Malkovich. Wow. He can do ANYTHING! That said, does it bother anyone else that the names on the cover don't like up with the correct faces? For three years I thought John Malkovich was in High Fidelity. And that John Cusack switched faces with John Travolta in Face-Off. And that "Being John Malkovich" was clearly a typo meant to be read "Being Nic Cage". So, in conclusion, for my best friends eighteenth birthday, I got her three donuts and my used copy of Con Air, with a note that said "I think I'm sooooooooo funny". So take that as you will.

3. True Lies

I HAD A WEIRD INEXPLANABLE THING FOR THE REALLY UGLY GUY WITH THE CURLY HAIR!

Now that that's out there, I can move on with my life. His name was Grant Heslov, and he was in Congo too. Steve Buscemi, Grant Heslov, Richard Dreyfus in Jaws... I JUST DON'T GET ME SOMETIMES! That's frustrating. And when I say Richard Dreyfus in Jaws, I mean Richard Dreyfus in James And The Giant Peach. I said Jaws the first time because thinking a centipede's voice is attractive is a hell of a lot weirder than thinking that of a kooky oceanography scientist.

I hope you are all still my friends after that outburst of oddity.

So True Lies kind of hit me hard when I was twelve because there were so many famous faces in it for me to become acquainted with. Ahnuld, Jamie Lee (this was pre-me seeing Halloween), my good friend Pullpax (If you can distinguish between the two Bills, good for you. For me, Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton aren't two seperate men, just one guy that wear different masks in different movies. Why take brain space trying to remember two different people? I don't have time for that, fool!), Mr. Planet Of The Apes himself, Wayne's girlfriend Cassandra,and then Tom Arnold making an appearance as the crazy sidekick with tons of witty banter. And let me tell you - I LOVE this character cliche. I want to be this character cliche! I want to talk about how we are too old for this and frantically criticize my partners reckless antics in a moment of danger without losing my humorous disposition! How do they do that?! I don't know!

True Lies is good for a laugh, and for a action/comedy movie it's pretty good. The look on Ahnulds face on the cover cracks me up.

4. You've Got Mail

Gaaaaw! Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are in love! I don't even really recall anything spectacular about this movie that I loved as a child. I just remember watching it over and over again. I don't think I ever made a conscious decision that I liked it, it just seemed like the natural thing to do. Bored? Watch You've Got Mail. Why? DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! I listened to that little voice in my head for quite awhile. In recollection, this film does have one specific quality that I particularly like in movie-making. Too often in romantic comedies, the ex is portrayed as this evil, soul-sucking entity that lives to destroy, and the protagonist needs the cute and cuddly good-natured sweetness of the love interest to make them realize "Wow. My girlfriend IS the devil!". In this movie, it portrays the other ones (Greg Kinnear and that lady) as good people. They just weren't right for our two wuv-ers. But they were awfully good people who deserved to live happy and fulfilling lives. And that's awesome. I also like the concept of the bookstore wars, and the adorable little bookstore Meg Ryan owns makes me happy when I think about it.

OH YEAH! I forgot Steve Zahn's in this. One day my friend told me her favorite actor was Steve Zahn, and I was very proud of her for making such a good, Claire's 'you-know-that-guy'-esque choice.

5. Stepmom

"We're bored"
"Yeah, whaddya wanna do?"
"Sing Motown and dance with bedding like in the major motion picture Stepmom?!?!"
"Good plan!"

Always fun. Always always fun.

This one plays tenderly on my heartstrings. It's also very segmented... like I can remember the exact progression of plot in my head, and it's spliced up into different parts. First Susan Sarandon is a biotch. Then she appears to have a human soul under her biotchity. Then she's a rock solid BITCH! Drop that 'o', kids, we are getting serious! And then... suddenly she's sick... and then she's not so much of a bitch! And then she takes her daughter horse-backing riding on one fine winter morning!!! (I am so ripping this concept off when I have kids. They'll think I'm the cutest mom ever! Unfortunately they'll never be allowed to see Stepmom or else they'll see right through my cute-mom shtick. But hey. I can deprive my kids of something random and illogical, can't I?)

See, I was totally rooting for SS all the way. The only thing I've ever kinda liked Julia Roberts in was Pretty Woman (Fact that contradicts that statement = I've never seen Pretty Woman. But I already know I love it. It's almost not even necessary for me to watch it). In my mind (nowadays), this entire piece of cinema was a battle between two warriors, the 'mom' and the '....stepmom'. DING DING! So. Do you feel like watching an emotional and sappy movie, removing all the elements of importance by inviting your friends over and obnoxiously hooting like at a wrestling match during the 'talk times', and turning an expose on middle-aged women fighting for the love of children into nothing more than a blatant cat fight, in a very Maury "oh no you didn't!" fashion? STEPMOM RULES!

6. Batman & Robin

[pause]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

I get a huge kick out of me. I can't believe how many times I've watched this.

This was before I saw Batman, mind you. This was before I read any comics. This was before I knew the difference between Batgirl and Catwoman. This was before I was obsessed. This was before I was awesome. This... this was eighth grade. I loved this movie. Lines like "Allow me the break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. It will be the chilling sound of your doom" left me astounded by their wit. I laughed out loud when Robin said "I want a car! Chicks dig cars!". Looking back, I'm angry at bad jokes ruining the importance of the revealing of the batmobile. But then I was like "Ohhh, Robin! You are such a sidekick, you are!" Yeah, I know, it's a little embarrassing. I also wanted to be Poison Ivy. She. Was. Cool. Men would fall down and she would walk on them, and they didn't even care! Anyway. At that point in my life, I wanted to be Poison Ivy. That translated into me wanting to be Mia Wallace at fifteen. Luckily I live in a cute suburban town and I'm very sheltered, so a coke addiction was a pretty tricky thing for me to take up at that point. Otherwise, I'd totally be Mia. Now, I really want to be The Bride. Luckily I am far too lazy to study karate, samurai-ness or basically any physical activity. OTHERWISE, I'd totally be The Bride. The point is, at any given point in my life, I want to be Uma. She is way cool.

7. What Dreams May Come

This movie got horrible reviews like no other! Which is weird. I understand it's not magnificently crafted, Robin's kinda stiffy in this, Cuba's kinda annoying, but still. There's nothing horrible about it. Sure the characters aren't loveable, but the general movie is quasi-creative (It's one of those concepts that SOUNDS creative but similar things have been done repetitively all over Hollywood and indie land and in high school plays).

Visually though, it's stunning. It absorbs the mind of twelve-year-old Nancy, sitting on her couch with her dog and her bag of salt and vinegar chips. It doesn't take a lot to impress that girl, and vividly beautiful depictions of heaven and hell really did the trick. I think the relationship between Robin and his lady love was not developed enough. Which is a shame. Because it makes it hard to root for them. They don't have that much that grabs my heartstrings; sure, they use cutesy pootsy romantic scenarios, but there's very little actual relationship development. Also, Robin Williams is good at doing romantic things in his own, weird, Robin Williams esque way. Like wrestling a crocodile in Jumangi. Yeah, okay, I know but that's the only one I could think of at the moment.

Nonetheless, ACTUAL romantic things make me just shake my head and say "Far too serious for you, sir". I also hate overly sexual Robin Williams, while we are talking about Robin Williams things that bother me. Wow. I actually gave a quasi-review to this one, instead of just making fun of it/twelve year old me.

8. Trapped In Paradise

Wow. Thus far two nic cage movies. Well, it's okay because he is cute.

I don't remember what about this made me say it was awesome every day, but it was addicting. I remember thinking "It's not thaaaaat funny. It's not thaaaat heart-warming and I kinda hate the girl in it". It was, however, my first exposure to Dana Carvey and I thought he was awesome. I think my feelings on Jon Lovitz have always been the same, from twelve years old to now.. Inexplicably detailed and complex. It's like... it's far stranger than a simple love/hate thing that I have for Jon. If it was that simple, it would be easier to pinpoint. It's like... it's like I think he's funny but when I look at him I go "guh! I don't want to hang out with him!" Thinking of his role in Wedding Singer makes me chuckle alongside a cringe. I think he's so cool at times; I love the dumbass nice guy role he plays in stuff like Rat Race. In this, he plays the easier character from him to play, a genuine sleazeball. In my head I think "Good thing we have Nic and Dana to make this trio likeable" but then I do a double-take in my brain and think "...what if it was all Lovitz, all the time in the movie? Could I handle it? I think I could!". I could go on for hours about Jon.

Well, since this film is less summer-blockbustery than the others, I suppose a plot recap is just. Three brothers rob banks. Two were in jail; and when they get out, Mr. I Didn't Go To Jail is all "nooooooo. uh-huh. noo way!" and Captains We're Ex-Cons are all like "mhmmm!". And since movie logic prevails, Jon and Dana convince Nic it's-a time to go a bank robbin, for old time's sake! They do so in a precious little town, at a precious little time of year, with a bunch of adorable folks running around being holiday spirit-y, trapped by the walls of their town, like a bunch of rodents stuck in a cage strung out on opium and running in circles wearing tiny santa hats, singing. They're so welcoming and trusting, a bank robbery is such an easy thing to pull off. Nic, Dana and Jon do so with pizazz (Not really, actually. They're more like bumbling fools, but I haven't used the word 'pizazz' in ANY of my reviews thus far, and frankly that bothers me). Unfortunately, the snow starts coming, the cars start breaking down, and the three brothers are stuck in the town they just robbed, actually taking residence in the house of the kindly bank owner! Awkwaaard!. And there's a love story intertwined as well? Well, lets make things even more complex, shall we, Trapped In Paradise?

Wow, an entire plot recap instead of just self-deprecating humor. Two points for me.

9. Anaconda

I think I just realized I'm very scared of snakes, because I began looking up the picture you see here on google, and I got a bunch of pictures of snakes that made me very uncomfortable. Maybe I have a deep inner phobia I wasn't aware of until just now. J. Lo? What? Oh yeah, Anaconda! Well, at twelve, the snakes didn't bother me with how fake they were ("Ah! The snake is giving us his 'angry' face! Run, Ice Cube, run!") and it didn't bother me that the characters were stupid ("Jump in the Amazon river filled with testicle-eating monsters.....or stay home? Film a deadly animal for the sake of science... or stay home? Pick up a clinically insane old man who is excellent at knife throwing and doesn't seem to like ANY of us very much... or... stay home?!?! Screw the latter, we're smart characters in cinema!") and it didn't bother me that they called every star they could ("LL Cool J, listen, we've got this proposition for ya...oh Deep Blue Sea already called? Oh, okay. Well, do you have Ice Cube's phone number? Yeah, I'll hold."). I just loved Owen Wilson, plots I didn't have to follow...and things that moved fast, I guess. I love underdeveloped minds and their ability to be easily satisfied. That said, onto Armageddon!

10. Armageddon

Wow. The intensity around this flick. When I was twelve years old, I fell in hard love with one of summer's biggest blockbusters. All the advertising worked charms on me. "Well, Golly gee, if McDonalds endorses it, it must be good!". I could never see me hating this movie, despite the fact that I know in my heart is a cheesy summer blockbuster, the kind of movie that I despise. For one, is I distinctly remember all the thing in this film that I thought were adorable. All the little love sequences... I kinda hated Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler's relationship, but I loved the father/daughter aspect between Liv and Bruce, I loved the buddy-buddy relationship of all the guys, I loved Billy Bob and all of his dreams that he had. But most importantly, it was my first introduction to Steve Buscemi, who I believe is THE great American actor, and my favorite man, hands down, ever. And that... that's refreshing. I know seeing this great indie genius in a movie about the world exploding by a big giant rock...starring Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck...is probably a lame introduction, but hey, I had Con Air to my name too. I'm hip.

11. Total Recall

Hahaha...woot.

If you thought two Terminators movies, True Lies and Jingle All The Way satisfied my Ahnuld obsession when I was twelve, you were sadly, sadly mistaken. I knew Rachel Ticotin by name because of her appearances in Total Recall AND Con Air. One takes place on a plane with convicts... simple plot... simple idea... the other one is a completely f-ed up complex plot involving memory implantation and Mars. This movie made me realize the concept of virtual vacation is beneficial in the sense that artificial recollection can make some awkward moments go away.

"Hey, remember that time at Joe's party...?"
"No. I wasn't invited."
"....oh"
[Shoots laser beam over friends head]
"Remember at Joe's party..."
"YES I DO! LET'S REMINISCE!"

In short, the general consensus is that a movie featuring Ahnuld saying on repeat "Get your ass to mars....get your ass to mars...get your ass to mars" had a very important part in my development, and that makes me feel a little bit weird.

12. Michael

The major motion picture Michael brings joy to the hearts of middle-aged journalists, people who love puppies, John Travolta fans and Nancy at age 12! Another little plot recap: William Hurt = Skeptical. Andie Macdowell = Dog walker, much divorced. Other Guy Who Was Also In Benny & Joon = Cute gaw middle aged man with a puppy who somewhat believes in angels! Bob Hoskins = Bitchass fake-news executive that sends the whole team searching for a story regarding a crazy old lady who claims to have an angel living with her in the midwest. Crazy old lady = crazy old lady. John Travalota = That angel that turned out to be not quite what they expected! A-smoking and a-drinking and a-cussing and a-putting sugar on EVERYTHING...oh, John. You crazy saint, you! Why don't you go wrestle a bull?!!?

So I still own this and always regarded it as one of the finer pieces of cinema. A couple months ago I sat down and attempted to rewatch it. It just didn't have the same power and beauty it did at age 12. Sad, but true.

So those are the movies that were implemented into my conciousness until I turned 12. And then one day... my dad came home and said, "I think you'll like this movie."

I hope it will be self-explanatory how this film took a nerdy twelve year old, helped her relate and turned her into a nerdy cult-movie-watching teenager....

So my dad said, "I think you'll like this movie... The Breakfast Club."

(If articles could have credits, the credits would be rolling right now and "Don't You Forget About Me" would be playing over them.)