Justin's Rating: Don't you forget about me. JUST DON'T.
Justin's Review: How. Dare. They. Is nothing sacred in this world anymore? I mean, okay, make fun of air transportation disaster flicks. Sure, it's searingly painful to everyone who has lost someone in a plane crash, but it's highly amusing to the rest of us. And go ahead and make fun of other movies that make fun of serial killer slashers, which is hilarious to everyone who hasn't has body parts stolen for the sole purpose of being in a soup. And even mock Star Wars, which is equivilent to using a hyperactive dog's bladder on the feet of Jawa lovers everywhere.

But never, ever ever make fun of the teen comedy. There are just some lines that should never be crossed. (Another line is that one on the subway platform that warns you of being electrocuted on the track.)

It's easy to liken movies to some stupid metaphor, so here goes. Filmmakers are like arists painting at a blank canvas. Some -- like "fetch me an Oscar" dramas -- use delicate, minute strokes that create breathtaking beauty. Others, like action thrillers, use exciting, bold strokes with vivid colors to arrest the heart. And then you have parody movies, which is like the artist taking every color of paint in the room, mixing it all together, throwing it helter-skelter onto the canvas, and then writing a sex joke on it in magic marker. The moral of this metaphor: parody movies have no subtlety in them whatsoever.

Not Another Teen Movie tries hard to cover all the bases of a much-loved genre (which consists, mostly, of comedies themselves). It blatantly steals, rips off, and line-for-line copies from other movies, including The Breakfast Club, Bring It On, and Varsity Blues. Not to mention that the main "plot" is more or less a remake of She's All That. Incidentally, the best joke of the film is based off that movie: when picking the "ugliest girl in school" to make his prom date, the winner is the girl who has "glasses, a pony-tail, and paint-splattered coveralls."

Like so many post-Zucker/Abrams/Zucker parodies, this one fails more often than it misses, but it's not a complete waste. They must have had an intelligent writer or two on staff, because a few of the jokes aren't penis gags, and even made me laugh pretty hard. Maybe it's so un-PC to even like this gag, but it was worth a chuckle to see the popular jock singing on the football field to a girl (a la Ten Things I Hate About You), using her name. The song? "Jamie's Got A Gun." Chaos ensues, and the security team jumps her using stun prods. I also laughed pretty hard when a pretty girl enters the party scene in slow-motion and everyone freezes except for one guy, who doesn't know that everyone has to stay still until she moves again.

Perhaps teen flicks did have it coming. I'll admit that certain clichés -- like the fascination with the prom, or the avoidance of any possibility of the middle-class -- do deserve ribbing. But many of the films they mock (homage is too kind of a word) are bona fide classics that deserve to be revered: your Ferris Buellers, your Can't Hardly Waits, your Pretty in Pinks, your Mr. T Goes To Washingtons. So, hands-off, petty filmmakers... here's hoping the audience checks out the much sharper Shriek instead for a teen satire fix.

Kyle's Rating: Another opening night disaster
Kyle's Review: For some reason, this movie looked pretty funny thanks to its appealing preview, and so a big group of us felt seeing this would be a great coda to a Thai food-filled evening. WE WERE WRONG. Please, for the love of everything, avoid this movie! Just do it! Noooooo!

Well, it’s not too bad. It is another case of all the funny stuff being played in the trailer, so you can prognosticate the next 10 jokes and make an educated guess at the 10 after that. Nothing is really funny or original like is could be (see Airplane! and the first two Naked Guns for examples of comical lunacy at its best), and the bevy of hot chicks at this film’s disposal goes 99% wasted (naked chicks rule!).

If you dare risk viewing this feature film, understand that you won’t be getting humor out of it: you’ll be getting painful, debilitating memory scars that will haunt you till the end of your days. Mia Kirshner is hot and all, but the old-lady-at-the-party scene is one of the most disturbing things ever. If I can spare you from seeing that, then that lessens my pain just a little teeny bit.