Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"We can't be dead! We have cable!"

2003 R / Fantasy Comedy Directed by: Vincenzo Natali Starring: David Hewlett, Andrew Miller, Gordon Pinsent

Tagline

What if you wished everyone - and everything - would just go away!

Summary Capsule

Exactly what the title implies.

Mutant Meter

Movie Store [proceeds go toward monthly MRFH upkeep]

Amazon.com: DVD

Nancy's Rating: Nothing tastes like tofu.
Nancy's Review: I haven't seen a comedy like this in awhile. This is a straight-up funny movie, but it never lets its humor get in the way of its incredibly strange plot.

"It's quirky, funny and simple, and it pulls off that combination fantastically."

Let me restate - incredibly strange. So strange, that I found it in the aisle marked 'Incredibly Strange Movies' at the movie rental place in Portland. It's THAT strange. Before I start classes, I have a lot of free time on my hands, and I've been devoting it to catching up on those movies I've been meaning to see. Nothing caught my eye, despite the fact that it wasn't on my incredibly strange plot. Director of Cube? I was intrigued. Nothing? My interest rose.

I'm hereby naming Vincenzo Natali the king of to-the-point titles. Cube was about a bunch of people trapped in a cube. Nothing is about two guys who wish everything away, and get their wish. It's in the same style of Cube, and it has a similar concept — the world around you and existence as you know it is totally altered. It even has similar styled shots and sound effects. However, these movies are different in one huge way, which is really a credit to the director. One is terrifying and intriguing. One is straight-up hilarious. Now, that says something about the guy. If you can maintain your style and make the switch from intense thrilling sci-fi to a REALLY funny movie, you know what's up.

And Nothing IS funny. I knew that it was my type of movie when the persistent disclaimer before the movie told me that everything in this movie was true, and it was vitally important for me to understand that this film is pure reality. I got my first laugh. This film has casual humor — no cheap jokes or yuk yuk yuks here, just two lifelong buddies who are witty and have a good sense of humor between them. One, David, is a constant loser who can't seem to get it right in the real world, whereas Andrew is a neurotic freakjob who won't leave his house for fear of the real world. They live together in harmony, until two cases of framing schemes send the police after both of them. What are two good buddies stuck in a crazy crazy world gonna do?

Apparently, strong enough hate can make bad things go away. You can hate the world away, says this movie. And that's exactly what they did. Twenty minutes into the movie, these two guys close their eyes, and suddenly the world outside their house is white space. White, bouncy, tofu-like space. And for these guys, it's paradise. They can play video games and learn the drums, they can do everything they've ever wanted now that everything is gone.

Despite the outlandish concept, this movie is so perfectly simple. It's simply a cute, funny movie. It's not particularly mind-blowing, although the concept is interesting. It's a buddy movie, it's your classic Wayne's World or Tommy Boy. What's especially good about this movie is the fact that the oddest moments don't come from the surreal world around these guys, they come from the guys themselves.

This is a funny movie, a good one to watch with good friends, and it's strange and offbeat enough that you feel refreshed. This isn't your average major motion picture, this is a kooky adventure! And alongside that, it's cute. It's quirky, funny and simple, and it pulls off that combination fantastically. Not many movies can do that so well, and the fact that this does raises it from 'pretty great' to 'rare gem' status.

All dressed up and no place to go... perfect! "THANK YOU ST. LOUIS! YOU'VE BEEN A WONDERFUL CROWD!" Going Native

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Stan the Turtle
• Their band name is The Honeymen.
• Most guys just have a Samurai sword kicking around the old home.
• During the segment when they're eating their food, doesn't everything look so delicious for some reason? I even want to eat the spam, and I'm a vegetarian.
• Nothing says fun like chasing each other with deadly weapons.
• Andrew is reading The Science Of Logic after Dave made all his books go away.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

TOTALLY! Do it up!

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

David Hewlett and Andrew Miller are actually really good friends in real life. They've done numerous short films together as well as co-starred in Cube together. And they are just naturally cool, funny guys who we should start hanging out with as soon as possible.

Groovy Quotes

David: I'm moving on with my life.
Andrew: But it's garbage day!

Cop on horse: You're under arrest. For embezzlement.
David: Oh. Okay. Hang on, lemme just get my horse.

Andrew: It's us! What if we're the ones who are dead?!?
David: Andrew! We can't be dead! We have cable!

David: [Picks up phone] Dead.
Andrew: I knew it!
David: Not us, it!

David: As far as the surface goes, it's kinda bouncy, like...uh....
Andrew: Tofu.
David: What?
Andrew: Tofu...I've never actually had it, but I think this is what it would like to walk on.
David: You're right. The nothing feels, looks and bounces like tofu, which ironically tastes like nothing.

Andrew: [Points] Candy bar.
David: Andrew, I can't believe it! You did it! That's no candy bar, that's a dwelling of some sort!
Andrew: Candy bar candy bar candy bar candy bar candy bar candy bar candy bar!
David: [Slaps him]
Andrew: You're right, it is a dwelling of some sort.

Andrew: Wait a minute. What if there is someone there, and they do have food, but they don't give us any?
David: Why wouldn't they?
Andrew: Would you? The world disappears, you're the only ones left, two complete strangers wearing underwear and samurai swords come knocking on your door, looking for food, food you desperately need to survive for God knows how long, you're just gonna open the door and let them in?

Andrew: Or abducted! Yes that's it, maybe we were abducted by aliens, and they've taken us back and put us in some kind of zoo with a big sign that say Don't Feed The Humans, which is crazy, cause we'll die and who's gonna wanna go to the zoo to see two dead humans?!? Unless they're going to eat us, but why wouldn't they want to fatten us up before the slaughter? Unless they are feeding us, and we don't know it. Or maybe they're not feeding us, and they're just watching and waiting to see what we are going to do...what are you doing?
David: I'm making a trap!
Andrew: For what?
David: For food, you idiot, the food!

Andrew: For as long as I can remember, I've been afraid of going outside, and now it's not there, but I'm not going to be around to enjoy it not being there.

David: And what if you start hating away other things, things that I like? You'll undo everything that we...that we... that we...
Andrew: Undid?
David: Yes, exactly.

[Andrew is lying on the couch]
Andrew: This isn't working.
David: And why do you think that is?
Andrew: I don't know. Maybe because you're not a psychiatrist.
David: And how does that make you feel?
Andrew: It makes me feel like I am talking to someone who's not a psychiatrist.
David: And why do you think you feel that way?
Andrew: Because you're not a psychiatrist!

David: Buh-bye, Andrew's thing on the floor next to the thing with the thing in it!

David: I propose we settle this like gentlemen.
Andrew: Video game challenge?
David: Video game challenge.

David: I live in Daveania now! And ya know what I have? A flag! You know you ain't nothing without a flag! Hello Mr. No Flag! Don't you wish you had a flag? Well, you don't! Because I do!

DVD Review

Cute little 'Much Ado About Nothing' segment where you get the jyst of the friendship between these two guys. It's really nice. I love guy pals.

Soundtrack Review

There is actually a great, cute score that I would love to be playing as I walked down the street, as well as a very cute, upbeat song over the menu.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Tommy Boy
• Cube
• Being John Malkovich