PoolMan's Rating: A round trip ticket in coach... it'll get you there, but you know somewhere else, they're drinking champagne in bigger seats.
PoolMan's Review: First things first. This is my second stab at writing this review. (Clare apparently does a minimum of 18 drafts of any given review, and I was starting to feel left out) I wrote an entirely different one, which followed the theme "Why 80's Movies Should Only Be Viewed By Justin" and complained about how formulaic this flick was before it even occurred to me that the review itself was as formulaic as any I'd ever done before. D'oh. Me Sean. Me hypocrite. So I decided to scrap it and try again, this time from a different point of view.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is (in my own mind) one of those movies that fell right into line with the phenonmenon I had with So I Married An Axe Murderer (a condition now known to me as axemurderitis): the lines have been repeated ad nauseum, the best parts have been retold, everyone knows the line about "two pillows", and yet, when you finally sit down and see it, it's just not as funny or entertaining as you'd hoped. It's not bad, it just didn't live up to the hype.

The feeling I got through the whole of PT&A was that it was a two man play. A rather large, elaborately set play, mind you, but a play nonetheless. You have your two stock characters, grouchy, bitter, Neal (rendered by the god of annoyed characters, Steve Martin), and chubby, slow-witted Del (played by Canadian comedy god John Candy) basically supporting the entire film with ongoing banter and shenanigans that I can't describe any other way except that they seemed intended for theater, not film. Take out the extra characters, change the locales a bit, and this would make an excellent little stage production.

Not that that's a bad thing. Oh contraire, mon ami, it was refreshing. I especially liked the scenes where Del and Neal seem to have finally made up and get drunk together in the motel. How many of us haven't honestly behaved just like that before... right down to the giggles?

There were moments that had me gasping, they were so funny. There were points where I didn't even really get what the joke was. And for whatever reason, the producers throw in a super-depressing ending, only to scoop it at the last second with a paltry homecoming scene to lighten the mood. But across the board, Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Submarines, Space Shuttles, and Pogo Sticks was pretty fun. All aboooooooard!

Canuck Alert! John Candy, RIP, one of the best we ever had in the Great White North.

The Scoop 1987 Rated R Comedy/Road Trip Director John Hughes Starring John Candy Steve Martin Laila Robins Kevin Bacon

Didja Notice?
Cameos, cameos, cameos! If you're not cheering by the time you see Kevin Bacon as Mean Guy Across The Street, you'll still have to notice when Mike McKean, Edie McClurg, and Ben Stein all pop up for a few seconds and then go home.
A roadside sign reads, "Chicago 106 miles," a reference to The Blues Brothers.
At the beginning of the movie, Neal Page races a character played by Kevin Bacon for a taxi. Later, Neal phones his wife to tell her that he has been delayed (again), in the background, you can here the fight from She's Having a Baby (also directed by John Hughes) between Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern, when she screams that she doesn't like his friend's girlfriend.
During the credits: advertising exec William Windom examining a bunch of pictures.

The Movie Store!
Planes, Trains and Automobiles: Movie [VHS]
Planes, Trains and Automobiles: Movie [DVD]

Groovy Quotes

Del: You play with your balls a lot.
Neal: Oh really?
Del: Yeah, you do more ballhandling in one minute than Larry Bird does in an hour.
Neal: You know what I'd really like?
Del: A couple of more hands and an extra set of balls?

Del: We'd have more luck playing pick-up sticks with our buttcheeks than we will getting a flight out of here before daybreak.

[Waking up after sharing the same bed in a motel]
Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those AREN'T PILLOWS!!!

Cop: What the hell are you driving here?
Del: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Del: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
[PoolMan's note: I intend to use this line next time I'm pulled over... I'll let you know how it goes.]

Neal: You know... you know when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

Soundtrack Review
Okay, I can be positive enough to just be glad that the 80's are OVER, and we'll never have another movie where a synthesized version of "Red River Rock" occupies fully HALF the audio track. I mean good god...

If you liked this movie, try these:
Father of the Bride
Uncle Buck
The Jerk