Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"You're born, you live and you die."

2007 NR / Scifi Drama Directed by: Félix Enríquez Alcalá Starring: Michelle Forbes, Stephanie Jacobsen, Jamie Bamber

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Summary Capsule

Seasons 1-2.5 of Battlestar Galactica from the Pegasus's point of view.

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Amazon.com: DVD

Lissa's Rating: So say we all!

Lissa's Review: The Harry Potter frenzy has died down, and we know how the story ends. Happily ever after, kill off a few of my favorites, and I strongly believe that Neville gets an Indiana Jones hat at some point because he's just that cool. And there isn't much to debate anymore, and no new material to chew on. What's a fan to do? Search for new pastures, I suppose. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still love Harry Potter. But girl cannot exist on seven books alone, and besides, TV can be a more interactive media. Enter, obviously, Battlestar Galactica.

"Although I wouldn't say it's completely true, I do have a reputation as a slasher."

Like usual, I was late to the party. Duckie would probably argue that this is because I can never show up anywhere on time (erm, okay, maybe he's got a point), but the truth is I didn't get into the miniseries when it first aired. Okay, yeah, part of it was the preconception of the cheesy 70's TV show that this was a "reimaging" of, but also the sound quality wasn't too good for some reason in the minseries, and I couldn't understand half of what they were saying.

Thank GOD for DVDs.

So, we've watched the entire series. I've now watched it twice, except for Black Market, because Black Market sucked. (Incidentally, I am no closer to figuring out who the Final Cylon is than I was when I wrote my article. I'm leaning either on Ellen now, or that Cavil was the final one of the Five, he created seven other models, and the Sevens got boxed (except for one sleeper model in the Fleet (*cough Gaeta or Dee cough*) because they resisted the attacks on the Colonies. But all I can say is that the final Cylon is not Lee or Bill Adama. At least, I'm pretty sure.) Anyway, watched the series. Developed theories. Loved it. But for some reason, I never bothered to watch Razor until recently.

There's no mystery about why we never bothered with Razor. We heard it wasn't that good, and didn't want to spend twenty bucks on it. Plus, I heard it was heavy on Lee, and I really, really, really don't care for Lee - he's very boring with all his "I didn't want this" crap. But it came out as a rental finally, and hey - we can do five bucks, and I can put up with Lee for a couple of hours, especially if some of my other favorites (i.e., most of the rest of the cast) are around.

Before I jump into the rest of the review, let me just say this: If you haven't watched Battlestar Galactica, 1.) don't bother with the movie, because you won't get most of it, and 2.) why not? Seriously, one of the best shows ever, and whether you lean towards guys or girls there are plenty of incredibly attractive people talking very intelligently (most of the time). Go watch it. Shoo!

As advertised, Razor does contain a lot of Lee (Jamie Bamber, incidentally, who in no way is responsible for my dislike of Lee). It also has a lot of a new character, Lieutenant Kendra Shaw (Stephanie Jacobsen), an aide of sorts to Admiral Cain (Michelle Forbes). The story alternates between a search and rescue mission for a missing Raptor during the time when Lee is in command of the Pegasus, and the days between the Cylon attack and when the Pegasus found the rest of the Fleet. It's pretty interesting stuff, I'll definitely grant that.

If you're looking for your favorites, they're in very short supply here. Adama wanders around (although I don't ever remember him holding Lee's hand so much in the series), and Tigh, Roslin and Baltar have cameos. Half the cast is credited because of the show but never appears, or appears in the background in the archive footage. (Example: Michael Trucco, who plays Sam Anders, is credited. However, I believe Razor takes place before Sam even comes aboard Galactica. No Chief. No Gaeta. No Dee. But Hoshi gets lines!) There is Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff), and to my delight, she's the sassy, competent, frak-up Starbuck I prefer, not Season 4 Starbuck. But I really liked the character of Kendra Shaw, and I thought it was an interesting challenge for them to try to flesh out Admiral Cain some more.

Yeah, I chose my words about Cain for a reason. See, I think Admiral Cain is one of the most unlikable characters in the series. I really do. Some of what she does is understandable, but she oversteps the line. And don't get me wrong - I have absolutely no issues with them creating a character like that, and even applaud that they made her female. She's plenty balanced by other characters, but let's face it - it's hard to like Cain. So to see the attack and the days that followed from her perspective was very interesting. I didn't like her any more by the end, but I would say I thought her character was consistent and well-handled.

Kendra was just as interesting, as a girl who obviously wanted to advance and ended up admiring Cain, even if she couldn't really live with some of the things she had to do under her orders. I'm also glad they put some interaction in with her and Starbuck, because there are some very interesting parallels and contrasts there that make for some good viewing. I liked her quite a bit (although I really don't think they'd make her the final Cylon, given that she's never even referenced on the show). I didn't even mind Lee, because around Kendra he was actually tolerable and not too… blech.

Although I wouldn't say it's completely true, I do have a reputation as a slasher. (For those not in fandom, that's someone who likes to pair up guys with guys or girls with girls. I say my reputation isn't entirely justified because I only like to do it in very specific cases.) Regardless, it's a bit of a pet issue of mine, so I feel like I should comment about the lesbian plotline that made a bit of a fuss. The truth is that I'm not sure what I think. On the one hand, I did like how it was handled in Razor, in that it wasn't something anyone blinked an eye over. When Kendra found out that Cain had a lover, her shock was far more over anyone like Cain would want a lover as opposed to the fact that the lover was a woman. That was cool, and fit very well in a universe where the bathrooms are co-ed and all superior officers are addressed as "sir". I don't even have a problem with it ending badly, because a.) this is Admiral Cain, and she's not about hearts and flowers, especially when Gina was a Cylon, and b.) this is Battlestar Galactica, and if you think any of the many heterosexual ships are going to end well then you need to rewatch the episodes. The primary objection I've seen is that the lesbian relationship ends badly, and then Gina is "healed" by Baltar's heterosexual relationship, but given that she commits suicide by nuking Cloud 9 directly after sleeping with him, I'm not so sure I buy into the idea that she's all that healed, y'know? Right now, my verdict is that I don't have a huge problem with it, but we'll see what happens with sexual politics in Season 4.5.

It's by no means great, but it's not bad - in fact, it was a lot better than I was expecting. Like most TV-shows-to-movies, it's a two-hour episode of the show, and if you like Battlestar Galactica chances are good you'll like this, or like tearing it to shreds. Actually, chances are good you've seen this and you're pointing and laughing at me for not seeing it already, but hey. On the off chance you haven't, go rent it. It's worth two hours of your time.

"See? The script says that you two should be dancing a jig here. Now dance!" "Drunk and giggling" just aren't words I usually think of with Battlestar Galactica. Well, at least not giggling. "I think his nose is bigger than you've drawn it there."

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• The hybrid's prophecy? (It's in the quotes if you missed it.)
• The Centurians in the first war look an awful lot like the Centurians in the first series. (They even say 'By your command.') We thought it was funny.
• You know, this isn't related to Razor, but it is related to the Cylons. Would Hera or Nicky Tyrol have a potty-training subroutine somewhere inside them that could be activated? If they do, can I get one for my kids?
• According to Sharon Agathon-to-be, the Hybrids were created as a means to grow out of their mechanical roots and into biological ones. The Cylons considered the hybrids a failure and, after creating enough of them to control their baseships, the project was abandoned.
• Fisk was most definitely telling the truth. Cain is a *censored*.
• Ice planets. Battlestar Galactica likes ice planets, huh?

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

Nah.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Michael Taylor on the scene with the three Guardians in the Cylon War-era Raider:

Actually, early references to talking Centurions were cut from early versions of the script, only to be resurrected by one of our VFX guys, Adam "Mojo" Lebowitz, who ended up giving them very similar dialogue to what I once had. We all mulled the issue and then concluded: What the [heck]; how can we revisit that era and not hear one of the signature lines? And yes, we're a serious show, but sometimes it's also not so terrible to acknowledge that this is a show, with a debt to another show, no matter how thoroughly we've tried to re-imagine it.

Groovy Quotes

Hybrid: Soon there will be four, glorious in awakening. Struggling with the knowledge of their true selves. The pain of revelation bringing new clarity. And in the midst of their confusion, he will find her, enemies brought together by impossible longing, enemies now joined as one. The way forward, at once unthinkable, yet inevitable. And the fifth, still in the shadow, will claw toward the light, hungering for redemption, that will only come in the howl of terrible suffering. I can see them all. The seven, now six, self-described machines who believe themselves without sin. But in time, it is sin that will consume them. They will know enmity, bitterness, the wrenching agony of the one splintering into the many. And then they will join the promised land, gathered on the wings of the angel - - not an end, but a beginning.

Kendra Shaw: You're born, you live and you die. There are no do overs no second chances to make things right if you frak them up the first time, not in this life anyway.

Centurion: Enemy target destroyed.
Gold Centurion: All wings regroup and continue pursuit of Battlestar Pegasus.
Centurion: By your command.

Admiral Helena Cain: War is our imperative, so we will fight.

Admiral Helena Cain: Sometimes we have to leave people behind so that we can go on. So that we can continue to fight. Sometimes we have to do things that we never thought we were capable of, if only to show the enemy our will. Yesterday, you showed me that you're capable of setting aside your fear, setting aside your hesitation, and even your revulsion. Every natural inhibition that, during battle, can mean the difference between life and death. (opens folding knife.) When you can be this for as long as you have to be, then you're a razor. (closes knife.) This war is forcing us all to become razors. Because if we don't, we don't survive. And then we don't have the luxury of becoming simply human again. Do you understand me?

Kendra Shaw: Fisk was a black market sell-out. Piece of garbage. Unworthy of the uniform. Garner was a martinet who tried to micromanage this ship like it was some balky piece of machinery. [...] You're a step up. That doesn't change the fact that you're an outsider who was brought in to clean up our mess. Or the impression that your daddy just gave you a battlestar; like he was tossing you the keys to a new car.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Serenity
• Galaxy Quest
• Star Wars