Red Dawn
"African baboon"
Summary Capsule
Colorado teens fight commies for mommy
Justin's Rating: I always wanted to be a lumberjack... er... a movie reviewer
Justin's Review: Red Dawn begins with one of the most memorable movie scenes in history. Outside the windows of a Colorado classroom, Soviet paratroopers glide silently in. As the students look on in fascination, the troops land and begin to deploy. The surrealism is broken only when a teacher comes out and is shot for... what? Is this Soviet policy, to kill all high school teachers in order to get students on their side? A few seconds later, the Russians use a rocket launcher on an empty, parked school bus. Methinks the Russians are confused what constitutes a military threat.
Red Dawn is a teen movie and a war movie. The war movie concerns the said Soviet invasion of U.S. soil, and the fight of the resistance that forms under the occupation. The teen movie is because this certain town is home to Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, and Lea Scott Thompson. It's equal parts explosion, teen angst, kids-overcome-all plotting (wonderfully typical to the 80s mindset), gore, and drama. I think most people have seen this film, since it pretty much belongs to its own genre. It's cool -- any invasion where the U.S. is on the losing side is interesting -- but also hosts moments of undeniable cheeziness.
Essentially, the Soviets might be a powerful military force in this movie, but they're also dumb as rock candy. Mmm. First of all, when you invade a country, you might want to check a map. By landing in Colorado, you've essentially surrounded yourself with enemy territory. Plus, the Broncos really suck. Then they start acting like retarded Nazis, placing this super-small town into a concentration camp, shooting citizens all higgely-piggely. I'd hate to see Denver.
Swayze and Sheen lead a bunch of kids to the hills, where they mope and go through rites of adulthood. One of which, no kidding, is peeing in a radiator tank. The students form a band of guerilla fighters called the "Wolverines" (after their high school team), which proceed to trounce the Russian military time and again. Once again, movies teach us that an untrained 13-year-old behind the trigger of a Colt pistol is more effective than a platoon of Soviet armor.
There's some effort made to reiterate the point that War Is Hell, And Also Entertaining. A lot of people get killed, most of all civvies. The Soviets obsess over these guerillas, bringing in a specialist and devoting the efforts of half the Red Army to put the spanking on the kids. Love to see that communique: "We'd be helping to win the war, but we have to stop for a half year to track down a dozen bothersome Scoobies." The Russian army, conquering America one redneck town at a time. Well, give them points for thouroughness.
The Wolverines' numbers thin out through treachery and general stupidity. I always find that war movies that end up with only a small fraction of the heroes surviving to be kinda depressing. But then, it'd be unrealistic to expect them all to come out unscathed. There's a lot of strained speeches and sappy pathos shipped via FedEx (courtesy the KGB department). If you don't take time to mock at least sections of this movie, you're not a true American. Or Canadian. Or whatever you are, the flipper-gills are kinda distracting. But Red Dawn is a fun fantasy invasion film, wandering through the fields of disjointed reality with reckless abandon. Whee! Too bad there wasn't Red Dawn 2: Russian Road House.
 1984 Rated PG-13 War/Teen Drama Director
Starring
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FA: Free America. Possibly one of the worst acronyms, ever.
Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey are both in this movie, and would reunite for Dirty Dancing
Russian gets shot through the back with an arrow, hehe.
How sawed-off shotguns get made
A really bad rendition of "America the Beautiful"... okay, they were innocents and all, but weren't you a *little* happy when the Russians shot them?
Girls shooting heavy weapondry is so hot
The "Soviet-American Friendship Center"
Camoflauge does not go well with a bright red backpack
Easily the funniest part is when the Russian commander is lecturing about wolverines, complete with charts and photos. The boy wants extra credit.
The code phrase on the radio, "John has a long mustache." was an actual code
used in World War II by the French Resistance. It's also in the movie The Longest Day. [thanks Star Opal!]
The Movie Store!
Red Dawn: Movie [VHS]
Red Dawn: Movie [DVD]
Intermission!
Red Dawn was the first motion picture released with the PG-13 rating, which had been created after difficulty rating some movies in 1984, most notably Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) (The Flamingo
Kid (1984) was the first film to be *given* a PG-13 rating, but sat on the shelves for five months before being released).
The original trailer that comes on the laserdisc shows a scene with a tank rolling up to a McDonald's restaurant where enemy soldiers are eating. This scene does not appear in the final cut, and may have been removed due to a mass murder at a San Ysidro, CA McDonald's just weeks prior to the film's opening.
This film was entered into the Guinness Book of Records as having the most acts of violence of any film up to that time.
Groovy Quotes
Dad: Boys, avenge me! AVENGE ME!
Russian soldier: [subtitled insult] African baboon.
Colonel: All that hate'll burn you up.
Robert: Keeps me warm.
Jed: Well who *is* on our side?
Colonel: Six hundred million screamin' Chinamen.
Matt: I thought there was a billion screamin' Chinamen.
[Colonel throws whisky into fire, and it violently ignites for a moment.]
Colonel: There was.
If you liked this movie, try these:
Dirty Dancing
Stripes
Road House
