Justin's Rating: Notice how they never shout "RISE! RISE! RISE!" with the same oomph as "DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!"?
Justin's Review: On a good day at the MRFH offices, we might be witness to the grand spectacle that is PoolMan treating us to his superb Sean Connery accent. On a bad day, he does the same, but wearing his kilt and little else. Sure, we've tried speaking to him about it, but he always tells us what "loshers" do and then smacks us around a bit.

"Red October is the quaint tale of a Russian sub skipper who gets ants in his pants and makes off with a near-silent submarine and causes all sorts of holy hell across the Atlantic (I almost typed "holly hell", but I'm fairly sure there wasn't a Holly on the boat)"

Of course, there's positively no stopping him after we collectively watch one of Connery's masterpieces. In the case of The Hunt For Red October, it's worth the bustle and boom. Even so long after the Cold War was heated up to a Mild Simmer and then made into Peace Tea, I still consider this one of my must-see's, at least once a year. Why? To put it succinctly, The Hunt For Red October is one of the better political thrillers out there, and almost certainly the single best submarine movie ever made.

Based off the Tom Clancy thriller, or -- as the beginning of the film suggests -- some sort of hush-hushed military incident in the mid-80s, Red October is the quaint tale of a Russian sub skipper who gets ants in his pants and makes off with a near-silent submarine and causes all sorts of holy hell across the Atlantic (I almost typed "holly hell", but I'm fairly sure there wasn't a Holly on the boat).

While not exactly an ensemble piece, Red October has staggering star power. Scott Glenn, Sam Neill, James Freaking Earl Jones, Tim Curry, Jeffrey Jones, Stellan Skarsgård -- and these aren't the main characters! Sean "goose-stepping morons" Connery IS Capt. Marko Ramius, the mad Russian skip with a trick or ten up his sleeve, while Alec "well played, clerks" Baldwin IS CIA analyst Jack Ryan, a guy who really, really wants Connery's autograph and is prepared to chase him down to the ends of the earth to get it.

The literary talent of Tom Clancy and his fifteen-pounds-per-tome attitude may be debated, but the man has a knack for giving full scope to a story by bouncing around to dozens of characters and their plots, and this film is probably the most faithful Clancy translation in this regard. From Moscow to D.C. and at many stops between, the situation grows more tense as everyone reacts to what could be a prelude to a nuclear strike and war. Only Jack Ryan considers another possibility: and I'm not going to spoil it for you here.

Traditional sub movies have a load of tense situations, close quarters, dive-dive-dives, and so many torpedo firings you'd think it was a skeet shooting range. While Red October shares these qualities, it possesses something the rest do not. It's got a story that goes well outside the sub's hull to the world larger, and also gets into some serious character development. It's not just about a bunch of unshaven guys staring at the ceiling in pretend horror because of some pretend depth charges. There's mystery, intrigue, action, long-spun yarns, geek toys, and just some excellent camera direction by Die Hard-director John McTiernan. My words of praise are limitless here for the quality that seems to effortlessly exist here, yet is so rarely seen elsewhere.

Plus, to be honest, I just miss the Russians. I mean, I know they're still around, and chances are that MRFH has a loyal Russian fan base (TATU claims to be great fans), but it's just not like it used to be. Action movies from the 80s were dependant on an overpowering evil threat, and the Red Menace served those purposes grandly. Being able to revisit a kinder, gentler time when the Russians and Americans stood across a line from each other, growling and flexing titanium muscles does my heart good.

While Connery might be Scottish or possibly Dutch in real life, he makes a wonderfully gruff Russian here. Aye, I'm Da Commie! While many actors bring various qualities to movie roles, Sean Connery has the unnerving knack of always being a character who is the Rock of Gibralter: steady, solid, and always has his head above the waves. Well, metaphorically above the waves, as he's in a sub here. Anyway, it's great to see Connery in his prime, before he started dallying with the notion of playing someone a sixth of his age (Entrapment) and selling out to make one of the worst films of the new decade (LXG).

Don't be fooled by your lesser imitation brand sub movies -- your Crimson Tide's, your U-571's -- accept only the pure quality that can be provided by a submarine endorsed by 007 himself.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• The transition (and camera movement) from Russian speak to English speak
• The dual-beeping sound effect of the Red October moving on the USS Dallas' sonar screen was also used in Patriot Games as the sound of Jack Ryan's EKG.
• Jack Ryan takes a teddy bear home with him at the end of the film. John McClane has one at the end of Die Hard (it's the same bear).
• The Soviet Typhoon fleet numbered six submarines only after 1989. Sonarman Jones has six (besides Red October) listed in his acoustic logs, in 1984.
• Mk-46 torpedoes, once launched, are fully autonomous. They are not detonated by pressing a button, and they do not have a self-destruct function.
• The story takes place in 1984, yet on a table in Ryan's apartment in London is a 1987 issue of the U.S. Navy publication "Proceedings." [Michel B writes in, "'Proceedings' is a publication from the USNI (United States Naval Institute) which is a independant (NGO) organisation force promotion of Naval Knowledge (somewhat). No dependencies with the US Navy (except 99 percent of the members are from the USN). The catch is that 'The Hunt for Red October' was first published as a book by the USNI.]

"Thank you for calling Movie Phone! The movie you're currently in is [RED OCTOBER] and is rated [PG]."

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

Not really -- the teddy bear gets another mention here.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Kevin Costner was originally cast as Jack Ryan and Klaus Maria Brandauer was originally cast as Marko Ramius.

$20,000 was spent on Sean Connery's hairpiece.

The crew of the U.S.S. Dallas adopted the tagline "The Hunt Is On" as an unofficial ship's motto.

The underwater model of the Red October has never been in the water. This effect was achieved using blue gel lights, rear projection, and a few digital touch-ups. The sub was controlled with an animatronic arm. For the purposes of filming the underwater model of the Red October, only the left side of the sub was detailed to appear as an authentic submarine. The effect of showing the right side of the boat was achieved by simply turning the frame and reversing the image.

Official and Not-So-Official Websites

• Sam Neill in The Hunt For Red October
• Red October Fan Site

Groovy Quotes

Ramius: You're afraid of our fleet. Well, you should be. Personally, I'd give us one chance in three. More tea anyone?

Capt. Vasili Borodin: I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle."

Watson: Y'know, I seen me a mermaid once. I even seen me a shark eat an octopus. But I ain't never seen no phantom Russian submarine.

Captain Ramius: Hey, Ryan, be careful what you shoot at. Most things in here don't react too well to bullets.

Jack Ryan: [to himself] "Ryan, some things in here don't react well to bullets." Yeah, like me. I don't react well to bullets.

Ramius: When he reached the New World, Cortez burned his ships. As a result his crew was well motivated.

Jeffrey Pelt: Listen, I'm a politician which means I'm a cheat and a liar, and when I'm not kissing babies I'm stealing their lollipops. But it also means I keep my options open.

Adm. Painter: Russians don't take a dump, son, without a plan.

Andrei Amalric: You arrogant ass. You've killed *us*!

Captain Ramius: Re-verify our range to target...one ping only.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Captain, I-- I-- I just--
Captain Ramius: Just give me the ping, Vasili.
Capt. Vasili Borodin: Aye, Captain.

Soundtrack Review

Very powerful score and a must-listen. There's a heavy Russian influence, from the ominous opening track to the hymn sung as the silent drive engages.

If you liked this movie, try these:

• U-571
• Crimson Tide
• Down Periscope

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