Sequels

Next Question: If you had to make a list of absolute rules for Hollywood filmmakers to abide by in making sequels/prequels, what would they be?

Thou shalt not cast a rapper nor other musician. (Did you know they made another XXX movie without Vin Diesel?)

Actually, I'd like to add that to original films as well.

Thou shalt track down Brett Ratner and pay him never, ever to make another sequel to a superhero film.

Thou shalt honor thy dead by not returning them to life via magic spell, secret talisman, or unbreakable bond of friendship spanning life and death itself. Time travel is okay, though.

All plucky child sidekicks shall be hung by their toes and whipped with a wet noodle at least once per ninety minutes. If you cannot find a way to fit this in the plot, thou shalt excise the character.

If you can't get the original actor to reprise their role, just write the role out. Recasting is stupid!

If a film is hugely popular and you want to make a prequel or a sequel, make sure that whoever is writing the new installment(s) KNOWS AND LOVES the original film! Otherwise, the uninspired crap that gets produced pleases no one and instead tarnishes the original film FOREVER.

Thou shalt not allow the word, "Yippee!" to be written into any script, lest I smite thee in my wrath.

Consider the lilies of the field, that they not think that they are 'all that and a bag of chips'. Likewise be thou humble and not waste space on the special edition DVD by proclaiming to the world how brilliant and special thou art. Particularly when thou hast wrought crap.

Thou shalt know when to say "Enough! It is done, and it is good, and any more would be a money-grubbing desecration that defiles the memories, hopes and dreams of the faithful."

Can we condense that into "Thou shalt not create new films with the words 'Star' and/or 'Wars' in the title?'"

Star Wars is water under the bridge. I'd just hate for anyone else to think they ought to emulate Lucas and the Return of the Ego.

Next Question: What movie(s) would you love to see a sequel of, and would you be okay if it wasn't that great?

Serenity! And it would suck if it wasn't great. But that's kind of a cop-out. Sort of. It's usually the sci-fi ones I want more of, and it's also often those that suck.

I'd love a sequel to Children of Men, actually. It ended in a place that still left questions. But I strongly suspect that WOULD suck, and as the Matrix taught us, sometimes it's better to have unanswered questions than to have them answered stupidly.

Very good point, Lissa. I really don't want to see any more "let's ruin Shalen's positive memories of Firefly without really answering any questions" movies, but one never knows.

I'd like to see the Chronicles of Riddick continue, and I would fully expect and enjoy a degree of lameness in those films.

Assuming that the question is relating to movies that aren't already being fed into the great Hollywood Sequel Factory... hmmm... none come to mind.

To be honest, I don't particularly want to see more sequels/prequels, I want to see less of them. What I'm looking for are good, solid, original, stand-alone movies. Unfortunately, it seems like the well of creativity has been running dry for quite some time, which is why we've been buried in rehashes, remakes, epilogues, prologues, tortured Jedi/Superheros/Keanu Reeves and improbably aging immortals.

(Of course if anyone made a Highlander movie about Methos, I'd go see it, even if I had to scrape it off the bottom of my shoe afterward. I've always adored Methos. Twisted but lovable - my kind of guy!)

I don't know that I want less sequels. I think what I'd like is more planned sequels. The reason Empire Strikes Back/Return of the Jedi and The Two Towers/The Return of the King work so well is because the arc was intended to be one story, not "oh, let's see if this makes money, and if it does, we'll make another one!" I'd love to see more movies take on the multi-movie approach, because you can do so much more with character development and backstory and all that.

But I do agree, Sue, that there are way too many sequels out there that are just, well... stupid.

Final Question: Provide two case studies of sequels/prequels: one that succeeded and is as good or better than the original, and one that failed to touch the original's magic. In your expertly opinion, what happened in both of these cases?

I've got two fairly controversial ones here:

MISIFRE: Fletch Lives — as far as I'm concerned, this doesn't really exist. Honestly, everything that was great about the character of Fletch in the first film (highlighted almost totally by Chevy Chase's performance) seemingly gets tossed aside. I feel like that isn't Fletch walking around in Fletch Lives: it's more like Clark W. Griswald doing a middling Fletch impression. Meanwhile, other than Hal Holbrook (who is great in everything he does, I think) the rest of the cast is awful. Even editor Frank seems like he was fixed since the original film (in a vetrinarianal sense). Vaguely amusing, but overall it's a complete misfire. It's probably only a true injustice to me and those like me, who revere the original film as something extremely special.

SUCCESS: Final Destination 3 — obviously, my choices here are extremely personal and not in line with general consensus across the world (there's a lot of debate about the entire Final Destination trilogy) so I realize most people won't even be too interested in the second sequel to a horror film. But I have to say that Final Destination 3 has really grown on me since I first rented and sped through the film (not out of boredom; more because i had about 50 minutes to return it without incurring a late fee when i remembered i had rented it, and i have a thing about late fees) to the point where I consider it an exceptional example of a horror comfort film, on par with John Carpenter's The Fog or Freddy vs. Jason. FD3 has an amazing cast, excellent death scenes, and an interesting narrative that, in a hugely appreciated way, manages to set up a main guy-and-girl duo that shares charisma but lacks even a glimpse of love or lust. I like the original film and the first sequel, but both had quirks and significant elements that bug me enough that I've never watched them again. FD3 is amazing, though, and capitalizes on everything the Final Destination "formula" should offer. Pure fun!

Well, avoiding the most obvious answers (LOTR, St** W***), and as Kyle said, not something everyone will necessarily agree with:

MISFIRE: Battle Royale II. The characters aren't interesting. Frankly Shuya wasn't that interesting in the first one; he was helplessly carried along by other characters and his situation up until the film's last moments. Having the second film focus on him as a tragic hero was a mistake. Further, the characters are much more cannon fodder and less of real personalities in the second film, lacking the heartwrenching immediacy of the first one. The villain, rather than complex and pitiable, is simply loud and annoying.

SUCCESS: Army of Darkness. Perhaps a very obvious choice, but there's a reason people who never saw the first two Evil Dead films have seen this one. Contains many of the trilogy's best-loved quotes, and I just never get tired of claymation skeletons. (Maybe that's just me.) This one departed from genre staples to become a wild and crazy time travel/horror/fantasy/comedy, it never takes itself too seriously, and there's nothing quite like it.

Case studies? Essays? Eek. Oh well — here goes.

MISFIRE: Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde. The first one was actually quite witty and cute and a lot of fun to watch. But part of the reason it was fun and witty was that Elle, the main character, grew up a lot. And at the end of the movie, I was satisfied. I believed the end of the movie well enough, and I was happy. But the sequel was awful, because the writers didn't pay attention to how Elle had grown in the first one. She regressed, despite the fact that the sequel took place several years after the first. I found it very hard to believe that a competent, together lawyer (which is where Elle was headed at the end of the first) would care SO much about inviting her dog's mother to her wedding. Seriously. Plus, they'd used all the good gags in the first one, and they were sinking to scrape the bottom of the barrel. And there was a musical dance number. That was painful.

SUCCESS: Shrek 2. Shrek 2 did everything right. The characters remembered that they grew, and continued to grow and mature (even if Shrek had to be dragged kicking and screaming towards maturity). The inclusion of new characters was done in a non-contrived manner, and the initial rivalry between Donkey and Puss played out great. And Shrek and Fiona actually had a realistic happily ever after, where they (gasp!) fought over things, but worked them out because they loved each other. And in this one, the musical number worked — and so, so, so well.

Whoa... so this is what happens when you say "yeah, I'll contribute something tomorrow" for a week straight.

For misfire, I'll go with perennial scapegoat Batman and Robin. I actually liked Forever (at the time, anyway), but nothing could save this turkey. I still remember the moment I realized Clooney and O'Donnell were making more (and worse) puns than Adam West and Burt Ward ever did back in the 60s... and that this was NOT Tim Burton's Batman. Thankfully, it turned out not to be Christopher Nolan's either.

As for a sequel that's better than the original, my controversial choice is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I'm a man who loves his Raiders, but even Marion can't top the chemistry between Ford and Connery, who are the most convincing father/son duo I've ever seen on film. Plus there's no beating that immortal line: "He chose... poorly." And last but not least, it doesn't have motherlovin' snakes. I hate snakes, Jock... I hate 'em!

I was thinking Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Drew. It doth rock.

But I just had to make one more comment. They made Open Water 2. The two main characters were eaten by sharks at the end of the first one. How the HECK do you make a sequel?

People waterskiing behind a cruise ship or something get left behind. Except this time, they're BEST FRIENDS! Will their relationship survive?