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 2000 R / Comedy Romance Directed by: Starring: |
- Why do women find this man irresistible?
Summary Capsule
- Dex gets girls.
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Sue's Rating: The Bugaloos! The Bugaloos! We're in the air and everywhere! Flyin' high, flyin' loose, flyin' free as a summer breeeeeze... Oops. Sorry.
Sue's Review: I don't want to like this film, but I do. Sort of. How's that for an enthusiastic recommendation?
The ideal of the Tao is to be as Steve-like as possible, because there is no such thing as a dorky Steve. Steve McQueen, Steve Austin, Steve McGarrett (from Hawaii Five-O) — these are the ideal role models. Truthfully, I've been sitting here thinking about all the Steves I have known, and so far, I haven't come across a dorky one, so there may be some truth to this. Hmm. What a shame that I didn't name my firstborn Steve. Have I inadvertently condemned him to a life of dorkdom? Stay tuned!
Anyway, the classic Steves are uber-cool and ultra-masculine and the girls go ape for them because — this is important — Steves don't chase girls. Of course, since Steves don't chase girls, girls are intrigued and infatuated and throw themselves in various states of undress in front of Steves.
In any case, for all you shallow losers out there, the rules of the Tao are as follows:
- 1. Eliminate your desire.
2. Be excellent in her presence.
3. Retreat.
Oddly enough, even I have to admit there's a certain logic to this. And even more oddly, this is exactly how I catch a horse that doesn't want to be caught. Not that girls are horses. (Although some horses are girls.) I should know.
But there is a universal truth that we often want what we're told we can't have. The denial (in this case, the retreat) is the hook and it's something that's hard-wired into us right from the get-go. This is why toddlers throw temper tantrums over cheesy, overpriced plastic toys in convenience stores until their long-suffering parents cave in and pull out their wallets. This is also why convenience stores stock cheesy overpriced plastic toys.
It works.
Anyway, Dex's Steve-emulating success has, in some ways, backfired on him. It's not that he can't get girls - it's that he's been with so many of them, that memory gaps are appearing in his database. This bodes ill when he meets a woman who he's actually really interested in, (I mean for more than the obvious) and... oops. Well, one of them remembered a certain intimate interlude — and it wasn't him. Not a great way to start off a relationship.
So I don't like Dex. He's cute, smart, warm, charming and definitely personable — but he's pond slime. I don't like his modus operandi, or his message. I don't much like his friends, I don't much like the girls he gets, and I don't much like the ending of the movie. Yet, I still enjoyed the film as a whole. That's got to be some kind of zen, but I don't know what!
There's a comfortable feel to the film. The characters and setting were realistic. The dialogue was clever and genuine - except for one word which (Lissa, pay attention) I did not know*. It's easy to be drawn into this fictional little world, because there's nothing about it that seems fantastic or unusual or even impossible. Even the actors are mostly unknowns, which makes for less distraction to the story.
So a good flick, but one that will leave some people bitter and cynical. I might have to go meditate on that for a while.
*Solecistic: 1. A mistake in the use of language; a breach of syntax, grammar, etc. 2. Any absurdity, impropriety or incongruity. 3. An instance of bad or incorrect behaviour.
 I only have eyes for... you gonna finish that?
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- The ultimate comfort food experience. Eat directly out of the fridge and share with your dog.
- Dex is not exactly Mr. Health 'n Fitness
- Dex's vehicle breaks down and he gets to carpool with an attractive member of the opposite sex. My vehicle breaks down and I have to call a cab. This is unfair.
- In the credits: Based on a story by Duncan North. Based on an idea by Duncan North. Based on Duncan North.
- Reference to the Bugaloos! (Proving that Sue is not the only person alive who remembers the Bugaloos.)
- Baskin-Robbins. Mmmm.
- Getting punched in the face by your lover's husband in front of your kindergarten class has really got to make for interesting parent-teacher conferences.
- Solecistic? Dang!
Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?
Not particularly.
Groovy Quotes
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Syd: You lied about the spider, you lied about the puppy and you're having an affair!
Dex: I did not lie about the spider!
Dex: You're such a self-aggrandizing, solecistic, ego-queen, you don't even know you're-
Syd: Did you just say solecistic?
Dex: I most certainly did.
Syd: I love that word!
Dex: I do too!
Dex: Look at me. Look at me, okay? Technically, I shouldn't be getting laid, but I do. And do you know why, Dave? Because when I'm hanging out with a woman, that's all I'm doing is hanging out, talking, listening. I'm not sitting there thinking about how to get in bed with her. And this completely confuses them because they're saying "Wait a minute. I'm so much better looking than this guy. Isn't he attracted to me?" The basic principle: We pursue that which retreats from us.
Syd: Oh my [gosh]! I'm the special of the day!
Dex: What are you talking about? Are you huevos rancheros or something?
Priest: Dex, I find it hard to believe that someone of your, uh...
Dex: Moral turpitude?
Priest: Yeah, would ever consider being a priest.
Dex: You know, actually, I was accepted to Divinity school.
Priest: Really? So what happened?
Dex: It's like St. Augustine said, ya know: "Lord, give me chastity and virtue, but not just yet."
Dave: Okay, so if I'm not a Steve, then what am I?
Dex: You... You're... a Stu.
Syd: I made a schedule on my computer.
Dex: How Marcia Brady of you!
Dex: How can you not love a British rock band consisting of four teenage bumble bees?
Dex: Steve is the prototypical cool American male. Y'know, I'm talking about Steve McGarrett, alright? Steve Austin, Steve McQueen. Y'know, he's the guy on his horse, the guy alone. He has his own code of honor, his own code of ethics, his own rules of living, man. He never, ever tries to impress the women but he always gets the girl.
Dex: Well, that's Male Insanity Syndrome. Ya know, that is just you're with a woman and no matter how cool she is, you're always thinking "Maybe I could do a little better or I could trade up somehow."
Syd: "Trade up?"
Syd: So, you smoke pot for breakfast, you work part time, and you...
Dex: ...have limited potential.
Dex: ...I mean my biggest fear is that I'm gonna marry the woman that I want to hang out with and talk to in my golden years and then die in a fiery car crash when I'm forty and I miss all those years of having sex.
Dex: Doing stuff is overrated. Like Hitler. He did a lot. But don't we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned?
Syd: Oh, I see. So you're only options are to get stoned or commit genocide?
Dex: Both men and women want to have sex. It's natural, except we're on different timetables. Women want to have sex, like, y'know, fifteen minutes after us. So all right, if you hold out for twenty, she'll be chasing you for five.
Dex: You can't just go up to a woman and say, 'Hi! I'm Dave! I like smoking pot, reading the sports page on the john... wanna have sex with me?'
Dex (To his dog): Quit looking at me like that! You're acting like a co-dependant girlfriend!
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This review page was last updated on 4.15.06
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