Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
"If you ain't first, you're last!"

2006 PG-13 / Sports Comedy Directed by: Adam McKay Starring: Will Ferrell, Gary Cole, David Koechner

Tagline

The story of a man who could only count to #1

Summary Capsule

The inspiring tale of a man rising to the peak of athletic excellence in his chosen sport: pressing down on a piece of metal with his foot.

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Drew's Rating: For a lifetime supply of Fig Newtons? I'd TOTALLY drive with a sticker covering my windshield.
Drew's Review: I am not a Southerner, by the grace of God or otherwise. My parents are from Michigan, and I was born and raised in New Jersey (state motto: "Only the strong survive"). I throw in this preface to explain how I know I'll never truly understand NASCAR. Oh, I like parts of it… I fully support any activity that involves large groups of people spending time outdoors, getting drunk and periodically lifting their shirts. (Ladies only, PoolMan. Seriously, dude, not cool.) But like most Northerners, I prefer such gatherings to involve grown men kicking or throwing a ball around, rather than cars racing around an oval stretch of road. And yes, I'm a big fan of driving fast and freaking out people with slower reflexes, but I have Jersey highways for that.

"Yes, I'm a big fan of driving fast and freaking out people with slower reflexes, but I have Jersey highways for that."

So I'm not a diehard NASCAR fan. I say that to emphasize that there's no preconceived bias on my part when I report that this movie is hilarious. Honestly, I may even prefer it to Anchorman... and I'm a man who enjoys his Anchorman. That seems to be an unpopular opinion among the masses, but so be it; Nights has plenty of laughs, but also a tighter structure and an actual plot, something I usually like to see in a movie (Dazed & Confused, I'm looking at you). True, John C. Reilly and Sacha Baron Cohen aren't quite as zany as Steve Carell and Ben Stiller, but the presence of Gary Cole (Lumbergh from Office Space) as Ricky's father more than makes up for it. "I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come to the racetrack on Saturday, son, mmmkay? Great."

If you need more of a summary than "Will Ferrell in a race car," here goes: Ricky Bobby, Southern hick extraordinaire, has wanted to drive fast since the day he was born. A pit crew worker, his chance finally arrives in the form of an absent driver and a vacant car. Quickly catapulting his way to the top of the NASCAR circuit, Ricky gains the wife, kids, and white trash lifestyle he's always dreamed of… but when a jealous owner and very, very gay French driver Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen) team up to challenge his dominance, he soon finds himself friendless, penniless, and living with his mother. Can Ricky stage a comeback to squash the frog and get back on top, or will snack vendors be stuck serving wine and cheese forevermore?

I mentioned stupid humor before, but let's be clear: this is not an Adam Sandler movie, where the protagonist acts bizarre and all the other characters play straight (wo)man. No, this is a Will Ferrell flick, which means that EVERYONE — hero, villain, mentor, love interest, etc. — says and does completely inane, nonsensical things pretty much all the time. There's no Alice in this Wonderland; it's just a bunch of lunatics running wild. And as long as you enjoy that kind of humor, it's hilarious... I guarantee at least half the dialogue was ad-libbed on the spot by Ferrell and his co-stars. But those who need at least one sane character to relate to will be lost, so proceed at your own risk.

What I like about Nights is that it's not afraid to make fun of people's cultures, but that it also shares the satire evenly. I'm immensely proud to be an American, but there are things I dislike about our society; and the film does a great job of skewering the willful ignorance, monstrous excess, and xenophobia that far too many Americans engage in. (With apologies to the South, I have no trouble believing that Applebee's is considered a fancy dinner out in parts of this country.) But it's not a case of us being the lone scapegoat, as main villain Girard exemplifies at least as many stereotypes and odd behaviors of the French culture. It's a nice reminder: America does have problems and takes a lot of global abuse because we're always in the spotlight, more so now than ever… but every country has their eccentricities and stupid behavior. NASCAR just happens to be one of ours. (Hey, it could be curling.)

In the end, Nights can never be considered truly cult because Will Ferrell is all famous and stuff these days; but it's one of those films where you know if it'd been made during his SNL days, it would already be a cult classic. Nonetheless, it's a funny movie that won't make you think too hard if you don't want to, but actually has a little bit of subtle humor for those who look. Like I said, you know what to expect with this one… but if you like that kind of humor but haven't seen it yet, by all means, put the pedal to the metal and check it out.

Ricky shows those paraplegic sissies you've just gotta WANT it bad enough Too... many... product placements! Blacking... out! Yes, Will, we get that you like to kiss guys in your movies. It's getting a little creepy, to be honest.

Didja Notice? [some sources: IMDb]

• Ricky's dinner table contains more product placements then I think I've ever seen in one scene of a movie before.
• Talladega Nights drinking game: for every individual brand-name product you see, take a drink. You'll be comatose within the hour.
• While any kids I might ever have will be respectful, I do hope to one day hear one tell his grandfather he's going to come at him like a spider monkey, 'cuz that's just awesome.
• I never would have recognized Girard as Ali G; he looks totally different.

Is It Worth Staying Through End Credits?

I didn't, but apparently Walker and Texas Ranger say a little something at the end.

Intermission! [some sources: IMDb]

Steve Carell was offered a cameo role, but was unable to accept due to scheduling conflicts with his movie Evan Almighty.

Groovy Quotes

Eleanor Roosevelt: America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed.

Reese: If you ain't first, you're last!

Ricky: Well, I'm the best there is, plain and simple. When I wake up in the morning, I piss excellence.

Ricky: Big Red — If you ain't chewin' it, then [bleep] you.

Ricky: Dear Lord baby Jesus, we thank You so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank You for my family. My two sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red-hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.
Cal: Mmm!
Ricky: Dear tiny infant Jesus...
Carley: Hey, um... you know, sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call Him "baby." It's a bit odd and off-puttin' to pray to a baby.
Ricky: Well look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin' grace. When you say grace, you can say it to grown-up Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or bearded Jesus, or whatever you want.

Cal: I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt, because it says, "I want to be formal, but I'm here to party."

Chip: Are you just going to let your sons talk to their grandfather like that?
Ricky: Hell yes I am! I love the way they talk to you, Chip. They're winners, and winners get to talk however they want.
Carley: If we wanted two little girls, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman.

Ricky: Nobody plays jazz at the Pit Stop!
Jean: Then why is the song on the jukebox?
Bartender: We use it for profiling purposes. We also have the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.

Ricky: Well, let me give you a saying from Colonel Sanders: "I am too drunk to taste this chicken."

Ricky: This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I do love Fig Newtons!

Ricky: Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! Save me, Allah! Oh, help me Tom Cruise, with that witchcraft magic of yours!

Ricky: This kinda reminds me of that Highlander movie.
Jean: What? I never saw that.
Ricky: It won an Academy Award.
Jean: For what?
Ricky: Best movie ever made.

Soundtrack Review

There's no official soundtrack, but the film contains songs by Journey, AC/DC, and Pink Floyd, as well as the original version of "King of the Road" by Roger Miller (later covered by a drunken REM).

If you liked this movie, try these:

• Anchorman
• Wedding Crashers
• Days of Thunder