Mutant Reviewers from Hell do
    The X-Files

    aka X-Files: Fight The Future
    1998 It's The End Of The World As We Know It

        Summary Capsule: Stoic Agent Mulder and skeptic Agent Scully discover the truth... is on the big screen.






        Justin's Rating: Gillian Anderson... twenty feet high... my dream come true!
        Justin's Review: I'm a big X-Files fan. Big, but not obsessively so. This comes from my college experience, since my college town of Grove City has to be the oddest place this side of Twin Peaks. I swear, if I can just get Mulder and Scully up here, they'll discover more than they ever wanted to know about cafeteria conspiracies, aliens infiltrating my computer classes, and unshaven beasts that could be related to Bigfoot.

        But, sorry, on to the review. The X-Files movie was probably one of my most-anticipated films-to-see of this past summer. I think the show is great: action, terrific plot ideas, humor, and lots of Gillian Anderson. Let me wipe the drool off the screen here. The movie brings these wonderful characters and their quest for The Truth to the big screen, with lots of special effects and poaloozarazzi. And I was disappointed. Bored, even.

        The recap the movie: the X-Files (an FBI paranormal investigative unit consisting of a Believer and a Skeptic) has been shut down, and Scully & Mulder (henceforth known as S&M) have been reassigned to bomb detail. But, since we wouldn't pay to see two hours of them doing paperwork, a mysterious informant propels S&M to go on a wild, wacky chase. They discover poisonous bees, possible love, and a leftover alien ship from ID4.

        So why am I not raving for this movie? Well, even though it's very faithful to the series, it's perhaps too faithful. There's nothing in this movie that hasn't been covered; I kept finding myself saying, "That's the same conversation/lines they had in such and such episode!" It's a recycled flick. Even the new alien (who gestates in the human body like a nice Alien we all know) wasn't all that cool. It wasn't a bad flick, don't get me wrong, but it just didn't light my fire. I'd recommend it to anyone who hasn't seen the series and wants to get into it, but faithful X-philies should steer clear.

        Sean's Rating: 3 out of 5 Black Oil Vaccines
        Sean's Review: I LIKED the movie!

        So why'd the movie turn out so lackluster to all those hardcore X-philes (fans of the show) and all the other people? Simple. Bad judgement of the part of the screenwriter, the director, 20th Century Fox, (I'm not calling them Fox 2000) and whoever was involved in writing the film, for judging how much backstory was necessary for the film. To their credit, the situation with taking "The X-Files" (the show) to the big screen was a tricky one, trying to please not only the die-hard X-philes, but the average moviegoer who may not have even HEARD (gasp!) of Mulder and Scully. In the end they decided just to leave in the dark anyone who couldn't tell Dana Scully from Vin Scully (except that Dana's a lot better lookin'), and try to please the fans. And they didn't do that well trying to please them either.

        Well, that was deep. (BURRAPP!)

        Where did "Fight the Future" go wrong? Well, in the mind's of the X-philes, nothing new was really covered. Sure Fox tried to throw a few bones with Dr. Alvin Kurtzweil and the killer bee thing, but most of the movie was old hat. There weren't any shocks, terribly surprising revelations, or anything that would be a curve to X-philes. Special effects aside, there wasn't anything in the movie that warranted a movie or couldn't be done in "The X-Files."

        So why did I like it? It wasn't old hat TO ME. The paradox of the movie is that if you don't know the series at all, you get tangled in a confused web, (Why are they in Texas? I thought they were on the FBI bomb squad!?!?) but if you're an X-phile, you'd feel cheesed if you had to fork over $7.50 to see another episode. I fit neither catagory. I'm no die hard fan, but I know who Mulder and Scully are. I know who the Cigarette Smoking Man is. I know about the conspiracy. But that's about it. I don't watch "The X-Files" all that regularly. That puts me in the right frame of mind to see it, and I enjoyed it. But since it flubs out everyone else, it gets a lackluster review on my part.

        Recommended for:
        Newbies to the Conspiracy
        Little green men
        Grr... okay, if you like the X-Files, go ahead and watch!

        The Movie Store!
        The X-Files: Movie [VHS]
        The X-Files: Soundtrack [CD]
        The Making Of The X-Files Feature Film: Book
        The X-Files: The Poster [1]

        Intermission!
        Another little ID4 reference comes in when Mulder, drunk as a skunk, goes into an alley and takes a whiz on that movie's poster. Gee, a little friendly rivalry going on here?

        Want to go to Dallas to see what building was(n't) blown up? Don't waste your time. The wreckage effects were mostly modified video of the Oklahoma City bombing wreckage. (How's that for a conspiracy? A man blows up a building not for vengence in Waco, but for a movie?) Even the city of Dallas wasn't really represented, it was actually downtown Los Angeles, (with CA state flags surreptitously replaced with Lone Star flags.) Why? Since the cast and crew were also shooting episodes of "The X-Files" in Los Angeles at the same time as the movie, flying to Dallas would be too expensive.

        Groovy Quotes:

        Mulder: Maybe we should call in a bomb threat to Houston. I think it's free beer night at the Astrodome.

        Mulder: Five years together and how many times have I been wrong? ...I'm driving anyway.

        [To a bartender, while drinking.]
        Mulder: I'm the key figure in an ongoing government charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existence of extraterrestrials. It's a global conspiracy, actually, with key players in the highest levels of power, that reaches down into the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet, so, of course, no one believes me. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me Spooky. Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and who now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun, shouting to the heavens or to anyone who will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling and when it hits it's gonna be the shit-storm of all time.

        [Scully is slow to realize a countdown timer signifies a bomb.]
        Mulder: Thirteen fifty-four. Thirteen fifty-two. Thirteen fifty. You see a pattern emerging here Scully?

        Strughold: He is but one man. One man alone cannot fight the future.

        If you liked this movie, try these:
        X-Files TV series
        Men In Black
        ID4

        Soundtrack Review: A nice score, with a great new version of the X-Files theme. Most of the music is just mood stuff, however.

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