 Batman |
 Remember kids: if Batman needs reading glasses, then he's got more in common with your parents than he does with you! |
KYLE: I love how Bruce is like "oh, the Batman story. whatever."
NANCY: Sorta jinx!
NANCY: You owe me a carbonated beverage of some sort!
KYLE: Plus, if Alfred hadn't come in, he totally would have been like "what do I do? Well, I'm Batman, and uh... oh, damn!"
NANCY: Ha-ha, that's true.
NANCY: Bruce Wayne would never tell a lie.
NANCY: I hate how Knox doesn't get the girl in the end.
KYLE: Really? I love it.
NANCY: It drives me insane.
NANCY: I'm all for the funny guy.
KYLE: He gets the STORY. That's probably what he really wants.
NANCY: Knox not getting Vicki is the same thing as Duckie not getting Andie.
KYLE: I may be funny, but since I like to think of myself as dark and mysterious and disturbed, it would be worse if Bruce didn't get the girl.
NANCY: But in the real world, the funny guy would get the girl so fast!
NANCY: Vicki would just be like "...he's a jerk. You're SO funny, Knox!"
KYLE: Even the bad guys wear fedoras to corporate espionage. Very stylish!
NANCY: Gotham City is all about the style.
NANCY: I love the old time gunshot noises.
KYLE: Yeah, but Bruce has a big manor. Knox drives that p.o.s. car, so his apartment is probably like a water closet.
KYLE: Not to be elitist, but you know how it is.
NANCY: Vicki's a smart girl, she knows how to put personality above material.
KYLE: Gordon lets Eckhardt know the score, and it's awesome.
NANCY: She's a reporter!
NANCY: Gordon is portrayed so differently all over the place.
NANCY: It drives me insane. I never know how I feel about him.
KYLE: That's true. Pat Hingle did a good job, though.
NANCY: Ugh, I hate those choking noises.
KYLE: I used to think Batman shot that dude through his neck. That would have been so cool!
NANCY: Haha Batman would have to be vicious.
KYLE: I wouldn't want to get that green stuff on my shoes and pants. Gross.
NANCY: Yes!
NANCY: Backwards surprise punch!
NANCY: Always very classy.
KYLE: Good timing, Batman!
NANCY: Jack's even got the little bow on fedora.
KYLE: He probably spends a lot of time at the tailor getting it right.
NANCY: Mhmm.
NANCY: Okay, to be frank I've always been a little disappointed that Batman makes that grand entrance.
NANCY: Just to kick away Jack's tiny gun.
KYLE: Well, he did save Gordon. It was worth it.
NANCY: I wanted him to do... I don't know. Something more.
NANCY: The act was worth it, but the act itself, visually, compared with the entrance, just seemed puny.
KYLE: 'course, Batman doesn't do anything to save Eckhardt. Nice!
NANCY: Eckhardt has a splotchy beard.
NANCY: It's okay.
NANCY: Aaaand The Joker begins.
KYLE: Does he purposely drop Jack, or does he slip? Hard to tell. Excellent decision on Tim Burton's part.
NANCY: I wonder if they actually expect Batman to hold it right there or if they are just following protocol.
NANCY: "[Sigh] Hold it right there, Batman... start lining up the guards for when he splits"
KYLE: I guess it's the first time they're seeing him, so they don't know he can like fly off no matter where he is.
NANCY: This makes me so mad.
NANCY: Knox and Vicki have so much more chemistry.
KYLE: Batman having a flight pattern. That's funny!
NANCY: Ha-ha.
NANCY: Okay, now look how awkward this is. She would be having a much better time grabbing some beers and hootin at some game on TV with Knox.
KYLE: I guess. See, here's where you see Bruce having this wounded kind of charm. That's how I am, so I'm all about Bruce getting the girl.
KYLE: Quirky wounded charm. That's Bruce! That's me!
NANCY: He is charming, I just feel bad for Knox.
KYLE: Some times, the ugly person loses. That's just life.
NANCY: Dorks that everyone makes fun of but who keep on truckin' with the bad jokes, that's me!
NANCY: I'm actually embarrassed for Bruce here.
KYLE: It's cool that Alfred gets in on the drunken fun here, too.
NANCY: Of course. If you had an old guy just around, wouldn't you show him off to your hot date?
KYLE: Alfred is super-charming. If Bruce has any competition for Vicki, it's from already, not Knox.
NANCY: That's very true.
NANCY: Are there any other superheroes that have an Alfred equivalent?
 "Kyle! You're so cute when you say 'boobies'!" |
NANCY: If she was just "showing ya the boobies" this entire time.
KYLE: Hmm. A few others have sidekicks and benefactors, but Alfred is pretty much one-of-a-kind.
KYLE: The boobies would get old.
NANCY: Yeah. That's what I like.
NANCY: This is my favorite scene!
KYLE: True. That's why later it's just great that she looks good.
KYLE: This is awesome. Crazy Nazi doctor gettin' freaked out.
KYLE: Mirror. Mirror!
NANCY: Aaaand the giggle!
NANCY: He's just like a big goofy purple drunk.
KYLE: But evil!
NANCY: It's so creepy. It's really one of the most well done scenes.
KYLE: You can actually follow in his noises how Jack's mind breaks and reforms into the Joker. Absolutely brilliant, and with perfect musical accompaniment. Great work.
KYLE: I've used the "why are you afraid of flying" line on girls, who obviously aren't huge Batman fans enough to remember where it comes from. It really can work!
NANCY: Wow, that's pretty impressive. In a sad way.
KYLE: Should've had a little more security at the elevator, Jack Palance.
KYLE: More like "in an awesome way."
NANCY: THE JOKER!
NANCY: You're right.
KYLE: What's that purple stuff on his neck? I've never understood.
NANCY: I'm so awe-strucken when The Joker is on screen I talk less.
KYLE: I know the feeling.
NANCY: I'm just like "I... can't... be... sarcastic"
KYLE: It's a brutal murder scene, but because it's Jack Nicholson as the Joker it's funny and cool.
NANCY: Okay what is about to happen is ridiculous -
KYLE: I wonder if he had to be hanging upside down for exercise purposes, or if they just wanted to hammer home the whole bat motif.
NANCY: Oh hey Bruce, sweetie... wait... where are you... oh! You are working out on some ridiculous creation! You're not lying next to me at all. You're not even making me pancakes.
NANCY: I really don't see any chemistry between Bruce and Vicki.
KYLE: Man, no kidding about the Joker. Nicholson's performance is so absolutely amazing you just sort of stop everything when he's on-screen.
NANCY: I know it's hard to articulate.
NANCY: Batman's cover will be blown...
NANCY: NO!
KYLE: She's just keeping the bed warm for Selina Kyle.
NANCY: *NOW!
NANCY: (typing is hard)
NANCY: VERY good point.
KYLE: Way to blow it, Alfred.
NANCY: I looooove that relationship, as constantly displayed by my motif.
NANCY: Remember earlier when I said "This is my favorite part!"
NANCY: I'll probably say that during every Joker scene.
KYLE: Yeah, this gangster meeting is fantastic. "Life's been good to me, ha ha ha."
KYLE: Him murdering Tony with his joy buzzer is wonderful.
NANCY: I love it when he thinks "Oh, I got a live one here" is sooo hilarious.
NANCY: That sequence of events was so smooth.
KYLE: And the use of this dialogue in the prince 'Batdance' song makes the entire soundtrack worth buying.
NANCY: Drop the dead guy, blow the buzzer, other bad guys enter.
NANCY: This is so eerie...when he wipes away the sweat and the white shines through.
KYLE: Does he do it on purpose? It's so smooth!
KYLE: Watch his hankie pop up!
NANCY: He must!
NANCY: You! Are my number one! GUY!
NANCY: I love it.
KYLE: "Remember: you... are my number one... GUY!"
KYLE: Me too!
KYLE: Then he mocks him. Awesome!
NANCY: Talking to charred corpses really cements the crazy.
NANCY: No, not the smile. Not the murder.
KYLE: Having the conversation with the burnt corpse is a wonderful way to ARGH. We're too much alike, you and I.
NANCY: Making bad jokes at dead people really pushes him over the edge.
KYLE: I say this at a lot of funerals. "I'm glad you're dead! Ha ahahahaha hahahah!"
NANCY: Well, we ARE Batman fanatics watching it at the same time for the same purpose.
KYLE: Nice vest, there, Knox.
KYLE: Batman Begins at least did a better job of capturing how big a deal it was when the Waynes got killed back in the day.
NANCY: Okay, that's true, I will give it that.
NANCY: My problem is less of a problem and more of a severe personal preference.
NANCY: Batman Begins' whole mood and story were so drastically different. There was very little comic book feel and no light-hearted moments.
NANCY: Vicki is such a creep!
KYLE: Oh, really? We'll have to fight about that later, during our 'Batman Begins' co-viewing. I WILL FIGHT YOU.
KYLE: Vicki is sort of a louse.
NANCY: You can't argue that Batman Begins is a light-hearted romp.
KYLE: 'Batman Begins' is a light-hearted romp! Just because it lacks murderous mimes doesn't mean it's not.
NANCY: Okay, my feelings in short. First two = perfect. Third and fourth = too goofy.
NANCY: People got scared by them and then Batman Begins was just too heavy and too dark.
KYLE: The Joker killing this dude with a poison quill is also wonderful!
KYLE: Billy Dee!
KYLE: "This town needs an enema!"
NANCY: Gordon just got stabbed.
KYLE: Well, it's a bad guy, not Gordon, otherwise we're good.
NANCY: You're right.
NANCY: And also that was a slip-up due to 3 a.m.
NANCY: Not due to me not having have seen this movie eighty times.
NANCY: I swear!
KYLE: Oh, yeah. I know. It's only midnight here, but I got about two hours of sleep last night so I'm fairly faded.
NANCY: Ha-ha! This town needs an enema! Aaaand then party noises.
NANCY: Me too, it's been a crazy couple of days.
KYLE: Alfred is psychic. that must be helpful!
NANCY: And profound. "If not now... when?"
KYLE: I've always taken Alfred's advice as just being like "Forget marriage. Just have fun with it!"
NANCY: Wow. You hear things how you want to hear them.
NANCY: Who said that?
NANCY: I don't know if it's just a girl thing, but when it's late at night, do you find that you can't stop eating?
NANCY: I just hop from random food item to random food item.
KYLE: Ha ha! no, you're right. I do get what he's meant to imply.
NANCY: I know, I know. Sarcasm and wit is tricky over the Internet.
KYLE: When I got here, I opened a thing of chewy chips ahoy and a big glass of chocolate milk and could've easily eaten the whole bag.
KYLE: So I know about weird appetites. You, me, and Joker!
KYLE: Make some moogy? Brilliant!
NANCY: I had some peanut butter, than a roll, and now I'm eating refried beans and thinking about milk.
NANCY: Who knows what the future holds?
NANCY: This next part is mind-blowingly cool.
KYLE: I was dying for fish tacos, since it's $1 fish taco night, but I didn't make it before closing.
KYLE: Oh well.
KYLE: Yeah. When he does the "I get a grin: ag'in and ag'in" I usually go back a couple times to hear it again. Fabulous!
NANCY: Very much so.
KYLE: Tough luck, Becky!
NANCY: This computer doesn't check my typing for me so expect more typos.
NANCY: Love that Joker!
KYLE: No worries. I'll fix 'em later.
KYLE: "Love that Joker"
NANCY: Also, I got a tortilla shell as I got milk.
NANCY: So that's five weird unexplained cravings tonight.
KYLE: I guess that's a sign of being "young" and "interesting."
KYLE: Or just having immense intestinal fortitude.
NANCY: Or, just a sign of being fat.
NANCY: Either/or.
NANCY: ...You say 'fat' smarter than I do.
KYLE: I try. I'm very good at compliments.
NANCY: I love how gross they look.
KYLE: Just like Batman!
NANCY: It's such a nice touch.
KYLE: You can just tell they smell really, really bad.
NANCY: Batman would have never been late for fish taco night.
NANCY: I know. It hurts me.
KYLE: Batman would have been right where I was: flirting with the girl in the movies/music section at Barnes & Noble. Nice try!
NANCY: She's incredibly disturbing.
KYLE: True. That's what she gets for getting hand sweat on his suit earlier.
NANCY: Mhmm.
NANCY: Alicia, not the Barnes and Noble girl, at home reading mutant audience.
KYLE: Isn't it cool how every building in Gotham City is industrial techno Goth in gray concrete? My kinda town!
 It's like Tim Burton handed over the color scheme to a 6-year-old with a penchant for crayola |
NANCY: Right on our TVs!
NANCY: Kyle, aren't you excited!?!?!
KYLE: The Prince song?
NANCY: Mmmmmhmmmmm!
KYLE: I'm semi-excited.
NANCY: I just gave my computer a semi-mean look, then realized you couldn't see it.
NANCY: I write love notes in crayon and childish handwriting, too, Mr. Joker.
NANCY: I love how his henchmen suddenly have personalities.
NANCY: They are usually so sullen and now they are goofy fools!
NANCY: I love it.
KYLE: And club Joker jackets!
NANCY: Yeaaah!
NANCY: Joker is such a weird dancer
KYLE: Partyman! Partyman!
NANCY: Ha-ha, he just has lovin' music all set on tape.
KYLE: The Joker would like that one. Ha ha!
NANCY: Typical Joker.
NANCY: I just realized you're a teensy bit ahead of me.
KYLE: No, I meant the painting in the hallway. We're synched.
NANCY: Joker really is an artist.
NANCY: Ohhh, got it.
NANCY: I have such weird respect for the Joker.
NANCY: I feel for The Joker the way I feel for Magneto.
NANCY: Ugh! This is so damn eerie!
KYLE: It's sort of like when you find yourself liking hippies and drug addicts. They're so committed to their lifestyle and confident in their positions because they think they're in the "right," that it's hard to dislike them because they're content and happy in their personal choices.
NANCY: "I'm no Picasso, but... do you like it?"
KYLE: Just like Joker!
KYLE: It's kind of lame, in a lot of ways. I expected a little more exposed bone and weird skin distortions.
NANCY: Right. And they are totally justified in all of their points when it comes down to the fact that most of them are based on personal choice.
NANCY: No, I mean before she shows it.
NANCY: I was let down too.
KYLE: This "melting" gag is brilliant, too. You deserved an Oscar, Jack!
NANCY: But, you have to give a murderous maniac credit if he's like "I'm consciously making the decision to be a murderous maniac."
NANCY: He really does.
NANCY: For The Shining too.
KYLE: Great Batman sequence here.
NANCY: And Michael Keaton deserves one for Beetlejuice.
KYLE: True!
KYLE: The introduction to the Batmobile is fabulous. Great song!
NANCY: Totally.
NANCY: I love the doofy little Joker cars though.
NANCY: Maybe I just love funky color combinations.
KYLE: True. They should be easy to find later, you'd think.
NANCY: Yeah! Seriously: how many purple and lime green cars are darting around Gotham City?
KYLE: Lettuce!
NANCY: Maybe later, when people get so used to the concept of the Joker that they start mocking him, but not now.
NANCY: Not now.
NANCY: And yes, lettuce!
NANCY: That's amazing.
KYLE: Nice brakes, on the Batmobile.
NANCY: The shields, I mean.
KYLE: Yep. How cool would they be on your own car? COOL!
NANCY: Wicked cool.
NANCY: That's so insanely scary.
 Kyle's average first date experience |
NANCY: Being pulled up by that harness.
KYLE: Not age. Weight. Same thing, I guess.
NANCY: Yeah, she's dumb.
NANCY: She doesn't deserve him.
NANCY: She deserves someone... more on her level.
KYLE: Whoa, we're all bitter tonight. It's fun!
NANCY: Oh, what's that?
NANCY: KNOX!
KYLE: Like Warren from There's Something About Mary.
NANCY: Mhmm.
NANCY: I'll be Warren for Knox for Vicki.
NANCY: I hope that made sense.
KYLE: I think it does.
KYLE: It makes as much sense as a crazy swordsman attacking Batman like a nut job.
NANCY: Hahaha thaaat's true!
NANCY: I love this part.
NANCY: "You weigh a little more than 108" "Oh, really?"
KYLE: At least Bob is smart. He's like "yeah, I'll fight you later, Batman."
NANCY: Bob is so on top of his game.
KYLE: Stop!
KYLE: "Descent into Mystery" is a great track on the Batman soundtrack.
KYLE: This is all miniature work, I believe, and it looks fabulous. Classy sequence!
NANCY: Wow, I didn't know that.
NANCY: I love that weird little moment Vicki and Batman shared.
KYLE: I think I remember reading that in the official movie magazine, back in the day.
NANCY: Oh! I didn't even tell you about the good omen for our mutant viewing!
KYLE: Tell me!
NANCY: Earlier, my friend ordered a grinder, but her boyfriend wouldn't give it to her for some dorky, ha ha ha reason.
KYLE: Okay.
NANCY: He hid it in a light fixture and she assigned me to sneak around and get it.
NANCY: And when I did, he caught me at the last second, and I ran, and then I threw it at her, and he intercepted, and then my friend was like "Whoa, you're like Batgirl or something!"
NANCY: And I said "ho ho ho, you don't even KNOW what I'm doing later!"
KYLE: Batman's all shy, trying to keep away from Vicki's attentive gaze. Just like me and my emo brethren!
NANCY: Just wear a mask so you can say "And Batman wears a mask, just like me!"
KYLE: You should have beaten him up like one of the Joker's goons.
KYLE: It really isn't a normal world, is it?
KYLE: Christian Bale did a great job as Batman, but Michael Keaton did the best job at selling dressing up like a bat as a viable response to childhood trauma and escalating crime.
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