 Batman |
 This is a lot less impressive when you realize he's just going out for a six-pack of beer |
KYLE: Rape joke?
KYLE: That's tough!
NANCY: Like "You have something else I want" and then she wakes up knocked out in her own bed.
KYLE: I like to note how absolutely filthy her feet are from last night.
NANCY: I didn't notice, good call.
KYLE: "I have given a name to my pain, and it is _____" is a great way to really let people know when something is upsetting you.
NANCY: Alfred loooves Vicki.
NANCY: I love when Alfred cares.
NANCY: And I totally agree.
KYLE: Of course, he's sure willing for Bruce to give up the Batman secret. To a reporter? Nice one, Alfred.
NANCY: Please note Vicki's weird random braid.
KYLE: Good call! It's like she was bored and said "I'll do something different today."
KYLE: Great bantering, Bruce!
NANCY: Yeah, they literally had a one-night stand and then he expects her to be trustworthy with the Batman secret.
NANCY: Yeah, around here they get a little chemistry.
NANCY: But it starts in Batman, with the weight joke.
KYLE: Because he gets vulnerable here, with a fairly nonsensical metaphor. That's cool, Bruce!
KYLE: I use this a lot, too! "My life is really... complex."
NANCY: "Goes downstairs." She lives in an apartment, Bruce!
NANCY: You owe EVERY girl to Batman.
KYLE: I love this, because I'm not normal, either. Bruce is right!
NANCY: Goood music!
KYLE: The mouthing of "I'm Batman. I'm Batman!" is great!
KYLE: I love how Bruce and the Joker both note the spaciousness of Vicki's apartment.
KYLE: I know, it's so good
NANCY: Ha-ha, well it is very spacious, Kyle.
NANCY: She just grabs a bowl of popcorn for protection.
KYLE: Nah, she doesn't want him to break it.
NANCY: Mmm, popcorn IS tasty.
KYLE: It's cool how Bruce gets all "nuts." Awesome!
NANCY: Man, I really wish I didn't already pack my popcorn popper.
NANCY: Oh my gosh, yes.
NANCY: I can't wait.
KYLE: LET'S GET NUTS!
NANCY: It's so out of character.
NANCY: Vicki must be so weirded out.
KYLE: True, but it's a weird situation, so that's what you have to do, kinda.
NANCY: You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
KYLE: That would freak me out, too.
KYLE: There goes all the popcorn.
NANCY: I know, Bruce's reaction is so good. Just like "...what?"
NANCY: Oh, darn.
NANCY: His rhyme and his little dance he does is so funny.
NANCY: The camera going in is amazing, too.
NANCY: Also, the part with the flower now!
KYLE: Yeah. Nearly every creative aspect of Batman is just so great.
KYLE: Good musical swell!
KYLE: So sad, so sad.
KYLE: See how easily Vicki pretty much deduces Bruce is Batman? You'd think half the city would figure it out, too.
NANCY: 'Don't get personal... with Bruce! You can get personal with me, if you like.'
NANCY: I know, it's so frustrating.
NANCY: I'm just like "Really guys... take one guess. Just one guess, that's all you need."
KYLE: Is Alfred down with the crusade or not? It's hard to tell!
NANCY: Alfred is just there to sit and offer ambiguous advice, so you always feel either bad or great about yourself.
NANCY: Bruce is pretty much a pessimist, so he always feel like he needs to improve.
KYLE: "On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice." That's awesome!
KYLE: True.
NANCY: That feels like it was improvised by Nicholson.
NANCY: I wonder if any of his lines were.
KYLE: I like how no one cares about any of this until the money element pops up.
KYLE: Hard to say. It seems pretty natural. Except for "Bat-man." Weird emphasis there, Jack-o!
KYLE: This part is so tragic.
KYLE: Very well executed pathos!
KYLE: Synchronized footsteps!
NANCY: That's a very good choice.
NANCY: High heel clinks will always raise suspense. IT will never get old.
NANCY: Jack reminds me of the bad guy in The Frighteners in this scene.
KYLE: Hey, not to be lame, but do you want to finish this up tomorrow or something? I'm like a blink away from passing out and I have to get up super-early to work.
KYLE: I'M SO LAME.
NANCY: Lame, but I've actually been sneaking to my room to make my bed and put on pajama pants.
KYLE: So yes, let's pause right... now!
KYLE: Awesome.
KYLE: What time tomorrow?
NANCY: All I'm doing is packing, so I'm pretty much free all day.
KYLE: Okay. I work until the afternoon and then I have a work meeting, but I'll try to let you know an exact time around noon via email. Cool?
KYLE: Are you staying up late again?
NANCY: Cool. I can, doesn't really matter.
KYLE: Alright. We'll figure it out.
NANCY: Excellent, sleep well.
KYLE: Thanks, Nancy. And I'll save our transcript on my end: it's all good.
NANCY: Good call, cause I'm hoping from comp to comp.
KYLE: You, too. ttyl!
NANCY: Bye!
THE SECOND NIGHT: FINDING EACH OTHER VIA CHAT AND GETTING READY TO FINISH 'BATMAN'
 If you're happy and you know it... well, you're dead |
NANCY: Aha! Yes!
KYLE: I am full of hamburgers and visibly aroused. Are you ready to roll with this?
NANCY: I just spent three hours perusing through magazines trying to find articles about my college for the records. I'm considering popcorn. And yes.
KYLE: Sure. I wrote some superhero poems: I'm going to send them to you so you can tell me if they're "cool" or "lame."
KYLE: Awesome!
KYLE: You know it. So what's the plan here?
NANCY: Hold up.
NANCY: Let me end some other conversations before I roll with this.
KYLE: Sure. I need a few minutes, too! Then I'll be ready.
NANCY: Alright, I'm almost wrapped up so lemme know when you're good.
NANCY: I had Batman on pause and then it unpaused.
KYLE: Sorry. Ready!
KYLE: Where do I need to go in the movie?
NANCY: Kim Basinger just said "But that wasn't just another night for either of us, was it?"
NANCY: Bruce Wayne and Vicki are in the Batcave.
KYLE: Okay.
NANCY: Alright, unpaused!
NANCY: "I mean, we both got to each other didn't we?"
NANCY: Check?
KYLE: Yep!
NANCY: How could she have REALLY loved him since she met him?
KYLE: It happens. Souls connect, in reel life and real life!
NANCY: Ha-ha, cute
KYLE: It can pay off, quite well, in life.
KYLE: I love how much of this dialogue gets used in the AWESOME prince soundtrack.
NANCY: Yeaaah! You go to work!
KYLE: He just blows her off, like "Well, if I get back let's get it on, but I've GOT to do this. That Batplane was expensive, you know?"
NANCY: He's very responsible, putting work before sex and all that.
NANCY: I'm also double-commenting with my roommate now, so I'm in witty overload!
KYLE: This part is awesome, although this is where I had the most discussions with friends. They were like "Batman wouldn't use a bomb knowing he was going to kill all those people!"
NANCY: I love it when the Batmobile goes through fire.
KYLE: And I was and continue to be like "BOOM! f**k yeah he would!"
NANCY: "F**ck yeah he would!" is always the best argument.
KYLE: Wonderful music here! When my mom bought me the Batmobile toy for me, I would always hum this "Attack of the Batmobile" music while driving it around.
KYLE: I have no idea what the Joker says. "Junior bird man?" That's great!
NANCY: Weird, cause I always hum this song.
NANCY: I love how he dances.
KYLE: All these songs, prince and Danny Elfman alike, are wonderfully "hummable."
NANCY: Like a real, legit forty year old with back problems.
KYLE: Keep in mind: he has a gun with like a four-foot barrel in his pants. So that's affecting his dancing here.
NANCY: Is it weird that I expect my villains to maintain their dance moves even with evil plans underway?
NANCY: I'll be honest; I'd trust the Joker
KYLE: It's a very "James Bond villain" expectation of you. I have one similar, so I can't complain.
KYLE: That's why I'm glad I'm dark and brooding, because I'd totally go along with Batman on whatever. And I'd live!
KYLE: The Batwing music is so awesome. I remember when the movie preview was around and it started with the Batwing, and it was like "oh man! Batman!"
KYLE: I love the bill that happens to drop on the Joker's hat. Great job, gravity!
NANCY: Sorry, someone just walked in my dorm.
NANCY: College is crazy!
KYLE: Fo' 'soh!
NANCY: This part freaks me out.
NANCY: So. Hard.
NANCY: I like how she says 'no!' AS SHE'S ENTERING the car.
NANCY: THAT'S SO SCARY!
NANCY: (for our readers, the part where the guy lies smiling dead on her window)
KYLE: See, this is an appropriate "secondary hero" part for movies like this. Knox helps out, but not overbearingly or in a way that makes us go "Man, HE should be the main hero." (see: James Marsden in Superman Returns)
NANCY: Knox always sounds like he's about to tell a joke, even when he is on the hood of a moving vehicle.
KYLE: It's very rewarding to have Batman do a reconnaissance of the scene before he takes action. It makes him seem more into strategy and planning things out.
KYLE: Probably because [Knox is] a douchebag.
KYLE: I have no idea how he gets cut on that head like that. Are those feathers sharp? Weird.
NANCY: He's probably one of the more precise super heroes.
NANCY: I love that -- "...those are my balloons!"
KYLE: I don't like how the baby balloon is all swollen in one shot, but back to normal in another.
 What can we say? Bob rules! |
KYLE: Pretty much anything the Joker says is fabulous.
NANCY: Yeah, we should just stop talking about it.
KYLE: "Bob, gun. *BANG*" = genius.
NANCY: I love it!
KYLE: No, you need a guy like Joker to counterbalance (Michael Keaton's) Batman.
NANCY: "I'm gonna need a minute or two, boys..."
KYLE: Christian Bale would have a raspy witticism, so there you go.
KYLE: Great use of a bat-shaped plane! Why does he do this, exactly? To gain a lot more potential energy for the strafing run? I don't care: it's the Batwing in front of the moon and I'll never forget it!
NANCY: Me either, it really is just for little show off-y looks.
KYLE: See, this is the only cool thing missing from Batman Begins: Batman using heavy artillery on everything.
NANCY: ...'only' cool thing missing?
NANCY: I beg to differ.
NANCY: But alright.
KYLE: Oh man. Discussion for another time.
KYLE: Pretty clearly toy cars on the street for the big Batplane crash, but otherwise it's looking good!
NANCY: Vicki is an extraordinary woman.
NANCY: *extraordinary*
NANCY: I love the cute little marriage talk Joker does.
KYLE: I think it's impressive that for wearing white, she doesn't get dirty at all, except a little in the face.
KYLE: Ever hear how apparently it really is exactly ten minutes from the Joker saying that to the helicopter arriving at the top of the cathedral? Nice, Tim Burton!
NANCY: Completely side note - I think it's the funniest think in MST3K - The Movie when one of the aliens says "You are starting a very long journey" and Crow/Tom Servo goes "Mawwage!"
NANCY: No, I haven't!
KYLE: Oh, no! Holy internal bat injuries!
KYLE: That's impressive!
NANCY: I love this tower chase scene.
KYLE: I would LOVE to do that in a church, and accidentally knock down like every pew. and be all "I'm Batman!"
NANCY: I know.
KYLE: It's hard to run in high heels. probably.
NANCY: What a bitchy thing for Joker to do.
NANCY: It's actually fun.
NANCY: If you have good balance, you make cool clinky noises and it's a hell of a good time.
KYLE: Sure. It's fun and completely against the laws of physics for her shoes to fall in front of Batman like that.
KYLE: But it IS dramatic, so it's all worth it.
NANCY: Oh yeah.
NANCY: My roommate just asked me if the cops were good or bad and all I can say is...
KYLE: "They're kinda dumb."
KYLE: Especially after the big bell falls and no other cop except Gordon even tries to move it. "Sorry, comish, we're union guys." nice!
NANCY: Haha!
KYLE: It's very mythological that Batman has to make the trek all the way to the top as well. He probably has some kind of grappling apparatus on his belt, even after the crash, but to "prove" himself he makes the climb. Cool!
NANCY: I love screaming flip flop man.
NANCY: And the death dance!
NANCY: Not death.
KYLE: When me and a bunch of soccer teammates saw this, we all winced at the crotch-smash scene, because we all knew how that feels.
NANCY: But carting Vicki around like she's a corpse.
KYLE: Random henchman death is cool, though. He just happens to hit a bad part of the floor, and bye bye!
NANCY: I know, luck is on Batman's side.
NANCY: I LOVE THE JOKER!
KYLE: if I'm doing tai chi or something strenuous where I have to grunt, I ALWAYS think of the rope-and-pulley henchman guy and the noises he makes.
KYLE: Eeah! Ergt! Hungt! Braft!
KYLE: Batman is one tough motheryouknowhwat.
KYLE: More wanton, blatant Batmurder. I see no problem here.
NANCY: Me either.
NANCY: I always feel bad for Vicki when she has to kiss his arm.
NANCY: I think it's the creepiest thing in the world.
NANCY: And the look on the Joker's face.
KYLE: It's probably the finest material around, though, so it probably tastes like butter or something.
NANCY: It gives me the shivers.
KYLE: "Love that Joker!"
NANCY: That's true, his outfit is made out of butter. Purple butter.
NANCY: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
KYLE: Wait until your first big college dance/kegger/rave! You can't help but taste clothes.
KYLE: Here's where Batman becomes completely and totally awesome!
NANCY: ...that's a hard thing to pinpoint.
KYLE: Like Michael Keaton is CRAZY as Batman here. so awesome. That's great acting.
NANCY: I love Michael Keaton is the best Batman because he is not the stereotypical Batman.
NANCY: Also, we can't call Batman on things like walking up the tower!
NANCY: Because we should always assume he has some kind of bat apparatus to get him out of any situation, including this one.
KYLE: Cool that the Joker immediately knows (or pretends to know) exactly what Batman is talking about regarding killing Bruce's parents.
NANCY: Oooh, that's true.
NANCY: The Joker could put two and two together and reveal his identity.
NANCY: No, he could not.
NANCY: Actually, I thought that through.
NANCY: Alright, now he doesn't have the gun in his pants and he's still dancing funny.
KYLE: Nah, it was more later when I heard about "feats of strength" and the like that I realized having Batman make the complete climb instead of using a bat-tool to zip up was rife with mythological heroism type of elements.
KYLE: Must be the cut of his pants. They're really high.
NANCY: "Feat of strength?" What's that?
KYLE: Does the Joker care if Batman and Vicki pull themselves up? Who knows?
KYLE: Take a mythology class, and you'll find out!
 "Seriously, what is up with you grabbing people by their lapels? Do bats hate fashionable wear or something?" |
NANCY: I will!
KYLE: Edith Hamilton's Mythology is required reading. Or just have it out on your table at lunch to impress boys.
NANCY: I've read it.
NANCY: Freshman year.
NANCY: I still have it.
KYLE: You can tell the Joker is thinking it over. He's like "should I tell the helicopter to carry me over the building so I'll fall a few feet, or just fall to my death? I think I'll fall to my death! Aaaaaaah!"
NANCY: My problem - I wish they brought the Joker to Arkham Asylum
KYLE: Strangely, the Joker's death is EXACTLY how I'd like to depart this world. Laughing bag in pocket and all.
NANCY: I think it would just be cooler to think that the Joker had a possibility of popping up in future Batman movies
NANCY: I love Knox! He is not a douchebag! I don't even care!
KYLE: True. I guess for the world of film, they think villains need to be dealt with finally and decisively in the film they show up in.
NANCY: He's such a cute fellow.
KYLE: Knox IS cool.
KYLE: I guess that's fair.
KYLE: He's just not Batman.
NANCY: Truuuuuue.
KYLE: But in something like All The President's Men he'd be like a god.
NANCY: Haha, true!
NANCY: He should relocate out of Gotham City.
KYLE: Maybe Vicki picks him up before she leaves town (before Batman Returns) and Knox gets a happy ending with Vicki?
KYLE: That can be your dream.
NANCY: It is!
NANCY: And Batman still reigns supreme!
KYLE: Which is not a problem. Batman belongs with Michelle Pfeiffer's Selina Kyle. You know it to be true!
NANCY: I KNOW.
NANCY: Also refer to my Batman Returns review.
NANCY: For my latest revelation about how I am, actually, Selina Kyle.
KYLE: Anyway.
NANCY: WAHOO!
NANCY: It's over, kids.
KYLE: I read that. Fantastic.
NANCY: It's been a great ride.
KYLE: Stay for the music, though! Danny Elfman did such a great job, all he has to do now for the rest of his life is rip himself off. (see: Spider-man theme music)
 "Um. How do I get down from here? ...help..." |
NANCY: Well, I think that it is probably gives me the courage to walk up staircases for posterity as opposed to taking the elevator... oh, hello Prince... it gives me the bravery to maintain mystique and it gives me the strength to carry on.
NANCY: How does Batman help you in your current life?
KYLE: Man, Prince is cool.
NANCY: Tonight is gonna be scandalous!
NANCY: It might be.
NANCY: I don't have class till 1:40 tomorrow.
KYLE: I'm a big brooder, so I draw upon Michael Keaton's dark and mysterious brooding (especially that introductory scene in 'Batman returns') when I'm trying to brood and impress girls who might be observing me.
NANCY: Good call!
NANCY: That's exciting for you.
NANCY: Alright!
NANCY: So are you gonna fix all this up and send it to the captain?
KYLE: Sure! Have we said enough greatness? Probably.
NANCY: I'm pretty sure this will entertain the masses.
NANCY: Shall we consider Batman Begins in the future?
KYLE: I would think so. DEFINITELY!
NANCY: Alright!
NANCY: Drop me a line when you're schedule allots the time!
NANCY: (that almost rhymed!)
KYLE: For that, let's figure out an evening where we're completely free enough to do the whole movie at once YOU JUST BEAT ME TO SAYING THIS DANG IT!
NANCY: Alright!
KYLE: Sure. Maybe next week. Let me know about those poems, if you can, yeah?
NANCY: Definitely!
NANCY: I'm gonna go socialize for a little bit and expand my horizons.
KYLE: Rock on, btw. Enjoy the collegiate experience!
NANCY: I'll talk to you later.
NANCY: Wahoo!
KYLE: Peace!
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